Parent cares more for other kids (/rant)

[Nelson]

Ok heres the deal, i live with my dad, and my best friend lives down the back of my house, she is the greatest person i know, but theres one small issue, my dad cares about her more than he cares about me, his own blood son. She does have it a bit worse off, her mum is a drug addict, she doesnt get along with her, and her dads dying, More to the point, when she comes up the world revolves around her, i get no attention, when she goes out he never shuts up about her.. Its fucking annoying

Any ideas on how to deal with this and does this happen to you

[Obscene Eyedeas]

The thiing here i believe is not that he cares more for her he cares alot about you too in fact hes done things for you his whole life but most people are caring by nature and when they see someone as nice as you say she is hurting they just wanna help. Her situation is horrible atm and your dad just probably feels great for helping someone in such a positive way because helping people makes you feel good. You should say to him how you feel but i really dont believe it is intentional

[Sapphire]

God....

You should be glad that you don't have her life but most importantly that your dad likes and empathises with your best friend and goes out of his way to show that by making her feel accepted and welcome.

Exercise some empathy with her and her situation.
Then when you find yourself thinking that your dad doesn't love you as much as her, ask yourself whether you are truly being rational about this. Look at his behaviour generally towards you and towards her. Are there differences? What are they? Would he extend similar kindnesses to other people in her position?
If you acknowledge that you aren't being rational about this then try talking with him about it and getting his help in weakening these irrational thoughts.

Doing these should help you control how much you sound like a brat...

[Antares]

Just because he talks more about her or gives her more attention doesn't mean he loves her more than you. Sometimes when you are faced with situations in life, it is more appropriate to do things for others. Sometimes people become really preoccupied with helping other people and giving others that need attention, attention. I think that is what your dad is doing. He is giving her the attention she deserves because she is basically having a bad life.
However you should realize that this by no means, means he loves her more than you. It simply means he cares for her and I am sure if he was faced with a hard decision between you and her he would choose the right person (you)...or none of you lol

Just don't get jealous and such, I went through that phase a couple years ago and I realized its not worth it and that my parents care about me just as much as other kids even if it is expressed in different ways

[death1337]

Well , happens to be i have a similar problem , but there is a solution to this without a wall of text (no offence people that posted)
Get some money together and go for a father-son alone time at a public place like bowling or something , chat alot about women or cars , what ever your dad is more interested in , make sure NOT to mention her the whole time, i know she's your friend and all , but if you dont want the world to revolve around her... dont let it.

Worked for me :)

[2D]

Dads express their love in different ways. It's more of an underlying sense of love because he supports you and you have a roof over your head and a bed in you room.

My dad rarely pays attention to me but I know he loves me, because he's been working the same job for over 30 years working through doctor assessed lever 7 pain every day. That's love if I ever saw it.

[Nelson]

Thanks guys (except for Sapphire (im so sick and tired of you) )

[Mattasaur94]

You should be glad that you don't have her life but most importantly that your dad likes and empathises with your best friend and goes out of his way to show that by making her feel accepted and welcome...

Believe it or not, (:P) I agree with Sapphire.
I'm sure you dad loves you, its not something he would want to show, considering you recently came out to him and all, but he does. He'll show it in random acts of kindness, and the fact that he's homophobic and DIDN'T kill you your throw you out of the house is a sign of love.
At the moment he's probably still debating with himself over how he should respond. It'd be like every parent.
Personally, my dad's already told me how he would respond, i don't think I'd be at school much... or breathing in general... none-the-less, i'm straight, so *shrug*

But, back on topic, I'm sure he loves you, he's just trying to be supportive of your friend, and he obviously likes that your her friend, i mean, my parents would freak if they knew half my friends. (^^)

I agree with Sapphire, he's just trying to make her comfortable and know that no matter what happens at her home, she's always welcomed at your house. There's no reason to be jealous. Not that I see anyway, but, then again, the mind is a silly thing, the way it reacts and perceives things around us.

:yes:

[Nelson]

Mod/Admin - Lock thread. issue over