writergirl2101
February 5th, 2010, 09:41 PM
Last April, I went on a trip to Washington DC with my Synagogue's youth group. After going, my best friend decided that because I was bisexual, I was not worth her time or effort. I have anger issues, and took this out on her, making the situation worse. We have just now started to be able to look at each other when the other enters the room.
This January, I also went on a trip with the same youth group. The same girl was there, and I was able to go on the trip with no problems at all. But after I got back, my parents returned to their mentally (and sometimes physically) abusive ways. My father has no job, my mum is stressed out, and everything in our lives seems to be crashing down around us. My mum blamed all of this on me, saying it was my fault, and that there was nothing a girl like me could do to change anything except to become a different person.
My mum and dad are both abusive towards me, and only make my depression worse. I am on four times the normal dosage of Lexapro, and still contemplate suicide every day. My depression comes with OCD, anger issues, trust issues, and so much more.
I am hoping that by posting this, somebody will read this and let me know that I am not alone. I am hoping that by posting this, somebody will make me see that I am worth living, and that I am not just another fat, obese girl that has no use in the world.
This is just to say that if you are reading this, and you can identify, I am here for you. This is just to say that you ARE beautiful, no matter what they say.
This January, I also went on a trip with the same youth group. The same girl was there, and I was able to go on the trip with no problems at all. But after I got back, my parents returned to their mentally (and sometimes physically) abusive ways. My father has no job, my mum is stressed out, and everything in our lives seems to be crashing down around us. My mum blamed all of this on me, saying it was my fault, and that there was nothing a girl like me could do to change anything except to become a different person.
My mum and dad are both abusive towards me, and only make my depression worse. I am on four times the normal dosage of Lexapro, and still contemplate suicide every day. My depression comes with OCD, anger issues, trust issues, and so much more.
I am hoping that by posting this, somebody will read this and let me know that I am not alone. I am hoping that by posting this, somebody will make me see that I am worth living, and that I am not just another fat, obese girl that has no use in the world.
This is just to say that if you are reading this, and you can identify, I am here for you. This is just to say that you ARE beautiful, no matter what they say.