I dont think that I quite understand! (WARNING:RANT!)

[Amyxoxo]

So, I have never posted here before. I didnt think that I needed to. Everything was fine. I could handle everything. But .... I cant :(
I cant understand why no one is helping me. Im doing everything I can to give them the oppotunities to but then I go and say something like I dont need help, im okay, im not ill.

It is so weird, I feel like I have two people in my head, one telling me to do one thing, the other another. One gets louder,over powers the other I go with the loudst one, mostly the wrong one. It is like a war going on in me head. Everything is just going in and nothing can come out. I cant say anything to anyone about everything, they dont care, no one cares. I cant ask for help. That is like letting a bully beat you up. It is giving in, I cant do that.

When did everything start becoming so horrid and useless?

When did everything start becoming so important?

When did everything have to determin what happens in the future?

Why do I have to know what I want to do in about 5 years time?

I cant take it all anymore!

I have horrid mood swings. I can be so happy one minuite, slitting my wrist the next. I cant take it.
Mostly I feel depressed, but I cant be. When you are you stay like that for the rest of your life. People kill themselves over it all, im beginging to see why. I want to die, but I dont want to just be one of those statistics. A number on a peice of paper. I want to have done something with my life but I cant see the point in it anymore.
I have this horrid pain, if not pain then i feel nothing, numb.
Sorry for the rant. :/

[munchausen]

My aunt Sarah is exactly like what you're describing here, she was diagnosed with manic depression. Because the mood swings are so intense and like you said you can be happy and manic depressives often believe they aren't depressed because they seem to have the capacity to be happy. I don't know much else about it but you could look into it.
Oh and if you do die and and up a statistic I'm gonna be pissed and have to reverse haunt you, kay hon?

[CuriousDestruction]

i'm so sorry. you sound very confused. i recommend you speak to a counselor or therapist. they can help you sort stuff out. life is worth living. please don't hurt yourself. please. PM me if you wanna talk. k?

[Amyxoxo]

I cant be depressed because that is just wrong, There is nothing wrong now. Well not untill later when my mood changes :( :'(

[munchausen]

I cant be depressed because that is just wrong

Do you mean that I've misunderstood or that the idea of being depressed seems "wrong" to you?

[Amyxoxo]

Being depressed does seem wrong to me.
It shouldnt be happening, not to me.
But im sure this mood will pass sometime, hopefully. xx

[colts1994]

its ok i know how u feel

[Nelson]

Im the same way, ill always be here to talk if you need someone to talk to

[BeautifulDisaster]

It is not wrong to feel depressed, you cannot control how you feel.

*cuddles*

It's okay to feel depressed...

PM me if you ever want to chat.

[screamtobeheard]

It's hard to understand that you can't help that you're depressed. It's not your fault, try not to beat yourself up over what you can't control.
PM me if you ever want/need to talk.