I saw a man die yesterday

[Pirate]

it was the most horrible thing I've ever seen.
I was sitting on the bus and the man a couple rows in front started having a heart attack. No one knew what to do, but we tried to help. He kept gasping in pain and he went passed out and we had to move him onto the floor. His pulse went and everyone was crying. One man was trying to do CPR because the woman on the phone was telling him to but nothing was happening and everyone was panicking. Eventually the ambulance arrived, but it was too late.
We had to walk around him to get off the bus. i'll never forget his face.
I was standing outside the ambulance when a woman who couldn't get passed it ACTUALLY BEEPED HER HORN at it. I was in shock, so I don't remember exactly but I'm pretty sure I started shouting and swearing at her.
I couldn't cope with it, my dad had to come pick me up and I was wreck. I didn't sleep last night at all.

I can't help but think things like "He got up that morning, and got dressed and thought he'd go into town. What was the last thing he ate? Who was the last person he spoke to? Did he have a wife? Family?"
I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. I know I'll get over it in time, but I've been very lucky and I've never really had to deal with death. And to see a man die so suddenly.. it was just so horrible. :( x

[DayBreakArt]

I'm so sorry hun. ): Death is a horrible thing but it's natural. Everyone will die eventually. Just something to remember. I'm sorry you had witness a death though. ):

And as for the woman, well, that's just bitchy. People are grieving and crying that just saw somebody die and she beeps her horn. Ugh. People now a days don't give a damn about anything.

[BeautifulDisaster]

It truly is traumatizing, today, I held my sister's hamster, & she passed away in my hands... & she wasn't even my hamster, & I broke down when we arrived at the vets & were told she'd passed away... & there was nothing they could have done, even if we got there earlier.

I've had two of my own hamsters pass away, my last one passed away in my hands too... but in a much different way... she sounded & looked as if she was in pain... it tore me inside.
I bonded so much with them both, & it broke my heart when they passed away.
Today brought back so many memories of it all, & created new horrible memories...

I know, just a hamster, not a human, right?
Well, to me, all animals are like us, it can be just as traumatizing watching an animal die...
We're animals as well.

As time goes on, you'll slowly settle down, it'll take some time, it can be so tragic & heart breaking to watch someone die... but that will soon ease, the distress will ease, just takes a lot of time & patience.

I'm sure that man was very grateful to have people like you around when he did pass on, because you cared & still do care about him.... even though you didn't even know him.

That's so lovely.

You've a big heart.

Sometimes, that can work against us... it can be so painful to have such a big heart... but it's so much better than having no heart at all & being uncaring & insensitive like that lady was in the car.

PM me anytime.

[CuriousDestruction]

I'm sorry you saw that. death is certainly not an easy thing to witness. i've had a large share of experiences with death in my life unfortunately, and it doesn't get much easier. it's easy to look at a stranger and not give a damn about them. but in there dying moments, and the moments after, it's like they were your closest friend. you will get over it eventually, but you may never forget it. i hope you never have that experience again. if you want to talk PM me k? *hugs*

[emt.Cam]

It is definitely difficult to deal with death, even with those you don't know. Being an EMT, I've worked on patients that I've never met, trying to save their life, to give them another shot at life. Sadly, sometimes you just can't save them. I'm sure it was a horrible experience because I've worked on an older gentleman which was my first code, and then a 24 year old women with three kids about a months ago. I know my first death while working on the department was tough, though I had my brothers -my fellow full time firefighters- check up on me and told me to talk to them if I needed to. I recommend you vent to someone, I found it helpful, especially with someone that can relate. If you need someone to talk to and knows what you're dealing with, please, don't be afraid to PM me or anything. Take care hun.

[cody2010]

that totally sucks. i'm sorry you went through that. i don't how i could have watched that. hang in there.

[Tonymaruso]

It will pass with time I saw a lady die around 6 months ago and I still think about her every day. If you need to talk please feel free to PM me. Hang in there.


Anthony

[Asylum]

i am so sorry this happened to you... :( i had something similar happen to me, but it involved my great grandmother...her pulse stopped, after she couldn't breathe, and my dad told me to get out of my grandparents house, with my sister and cousin... they did CPR, and it brought her back... but it was scary, because we almost lost her...
death is a natural process of life... i likje to think of life if it's ment to be it will be.... if it is written i will happen... and well everythign has a reason and a purpsoe... i think it was this man's time to go.... you just need to accept that.. i know its hard... i know how you feel... but... know that this man is with God... he is safe... no longer in pain... you and everyone on the bus tried their best. it's hard in a time of panic. you did everythign you could... i'm sorr you guys witness it...
ok that woman is a bitch... sorry for my french... but arghh!!!! i hate people like that.....
i htink you should see a counsler.... . talking about it helps....
i hoep things get better for you.,
i'm again so sorry *huggles*

[Pirate]

Wow, thank you, just reading all these replies has made me feel so much better.
It almost doesn't feel real now, y'know, but occasionally it kind of hits me again.
I know I'll be okay in time, I've spoken to a few people about it and even though I know I'll think about it for a long, long time, I know it'll be easier.

Thank you so much xxxxx

[Pirate]

Someone left a comment calling me a narsacist?
Ahaha.
Just goes to show ignorent some people can be. ¬¬

[Beautiful Obsession]

awh im sorry you had to go through that. it sunderstandable you feel like that, you saw somebody die, and as you said, you will get over it in time, just try and put it to the back of your mind as much as possible, easier said than done i know. and just ignore that comment that someone called you a narsacist,dont know what their talking about:)

hope you okk xx

[booo]

awh <33 that must of been horrible. when people die i think and think. at this very momment i've been alive for only 992239920 minutes.... thats not alot. http://www.coolstuffclickhere.com/agecalculator.html

[Scarface]

that sounds like a very traumatizing thing. if you need anyone to talk to pm me

[Lazy Procrastinator]

This topic makes me fell inhuman, i once had an old women in the seat just in front of me on an airplane die right in front of me, I really can't say that I was horrified because I simply wasn't. I'm not an evil person or anything, usually I am quite emotional when it comes to anything remotely passionate or devastating, but for some reason my mind did not react to what I expected it to, so if it's any consolation to your emotions you are feeling right now, think of me and how I simply didn't care for the death of a fellow Australian right in front of me.

*Note - I DID however feel bad for the man she was with who was crying and devastated, I think my emotions are linked to the emotional reaction of others around me, odd I know; yes I do seem like a robot :S but I did feel sorry for the man, was that pity? I did not know the man, I did not know the women, two complete strangers with one dead. Did I not react in the way which was meant to be?