Urgh.

[BeautifulDisaster]

I'm feeling low, depressed, & lonely right now.
Feeling very lost, broken, confused, & messed up inside.

I have a lot going on, & would appreciate some hugs if that's alright with you guys.

Take care, love to you all.

x

[Mr. Smithers]

You can have lots of hugs. It's always ok to be upset. Just let whatever you were upset about, leave. I'm happy that you decided to come here to get hugs, you are always welcome to talk to anybody.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Thank you hon, I appreciate that so much.

Right now, I'm struggling to even want to be alive.
I see my Psychiatrist today, I'll let you all know how it goes.
*hugs back*

[Gumleaf]

i send you hugs and i understand completely, i'm feeling some of those things too. your visit to the phych will hopefully help. hope you start to feel better.
:hug:

[CuriousDestruction]

*hugs* i'm sorry you are lonely, i am too. PM me and we can be lonely together :)

[BeautifulDisaster]

My psychiatrist has actually made this worse.

I'm really feeling on edge right now, I feel dead inside, & I really just, cannot stand being in this place anymore.

[ilovemyboyfriend]

Awh. *hugs*
You are always welcome to message me if you ever need help! With anything at all I am here for you or anyone who needs a friend :)
You seem like a nice girl.
*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

[Aman21]

Do you kno wat ur depresed about?Pm me anytime and i can help
:hug:

[BeautifulDisaster]

Life, for many reasons.

& Thank you...
all of you, for the support.

I appreciate it during this time.

[Aman21]

is there anything youve done to anybody that you regret doing

[BeautifulDisaster]

Not really?
I'm not sure what the purpose of that question was?

[Aman21]

well nvm i was going to saY you could apologize to them and it will take some guilt away from you and you will feel better

[BeautifulDisaster]

No?
I don't think I regret anything, I'm not sure why you are suggesting any of this?

[cherry_boi]

i don't know u but...

<HUG>

:)

p.s. i give really good hugs

[Obscene Eyedeas]

:hug3: hope your feeling a lil better today

[Discomposure]

:hug:
I'm sorry your feeling this way at the moment, it's not nice. You deserve happiness. Can I ask why your psychiatrist made it worse? If sessions with him or her aren't working you could always ask to change person, you need to be able to talk to them and be comfortable, not be made worse.

PM me anytime, hope you feel better soon.

[BiBoy13]

I send u a hug. I hope you feel better soon.

[BeautifulDisaster]

I told my psychiatrist two times about wanting to kill myself, she didn't even follow up on it, she changed it right back to what SHE was talking about.

Urgh.

=/

[Discomposure]

I told my psychiatrist two times about wanting to kill myself, she didn't even follow up on it, she changed it right back to what SHE was talking about.

Urgh.

=/

Perhaps you should consider changing? There's plenty of people out there willing to help, and they will be able to once you find the right one.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Changed plenty of times, I've been seeing professionals since I was 7.

[galen]

Hey Beautiful Disaster :D cool name btw. You come across as very confused lost girl with a mountain of problems. I do hope everything is better now, here are some advise for you to self treat or mitigate some of the pain at least.

1. Never never think of your problems as a whole. Always untangle the problems one by one instead of tugging at a bunch and hope some will loosen themselves. Start with the easiest ones first, although it might seem like its not helping, it gives you something to think about and focus on, you will also get a positive feeling that you are moving forward and standing up to the problems. These small changes will eventually loosen the bigger problems for you to tackle later on.

2. The person in the best position to help you is yourself. Always believe and have faith in yourself. Remember, there are no perfect solutions, only clever choices. And only you can make those choices because you know best.

3. You should never ever consider suicide. Always remember that there are many people worst off, fortunate ones killed before they even had a name, less fortunate ones live a life with physical deformities or mental deficiencies. Some kids cannot even communicate since they have no education. They live a shallow life where their sole purpose every single day was to find something edible before they eventually die of hunger. These are tragedies happening all over the world that we have absolutely no control of and therefore are not able to correct. But it would be very very wrong to take your own life knowing there are so many less fortunate people out there struggling just to see the next sunset.

You are a smart girl, anyone can tell from the way you express yourself. You clearly have many intelligent thought processes running through your head. So come on and pick yourself up. An individual possessed of such sensitive emotions, intelligence and depth can be much stronger then this!

*HUGS* as many as you need, as many as I can give :D

[BeautifulDisaster]

Galen, a quote that I would like to share.

"Any problem in life is challenging to the one who is dealing with it and shouldn't be downplayed just because someone else out there seems to have it worse."

I'm fully aware others have it worse, but that does not mean I have had it any better.
I have problems that they don't have, they have problems I don't have, or we both have problems that can be related to.

If I feel suicidal, I cannot control that feeling.

I've tried to attempt suicide since I was 8/9 years old, more than 40 times since then.

You don't know me, or what's going on for me, or live in my shoes, so you don't have a right to judge & down play my problems.

& Telling me I can be stronger than this...
I am being as strong as I can right now, so don't try & tell me how strong I am or how strong I'm being or how strong I should be...
Resisting suicide & self harming behavior, for me, is one of the hardest things I'm fighting against right now.
Pretty damn strong in my eyes, maybe not in yours, but it is in mine.

I don't care if I get -rep for this or bashed for this either, so go on right ahead & do that if you wish to.

[DayBreakArt]

Im sorry hun. ): I agree with everything you've just said. You're very strong and you'll be able to go on. Just remember there are people that love you. *hugs x infinity*

[BeautifulDisaster]

Thank you hun, I really appreciate that.

*hugs back x infinity*

x

[2D]

Galen, a quote that I would like to share.

"Any problem in life is challenging to the one who is dealing with it and shouldn't be downplayed just because someone else out there seems to have it worse."

I'm fully aware others have it worse, but that does not mean I have had it any better.
I have problems that they don't have, they have problems I don't have, or we both have problems that can be related to.

If I feel suicidal, I cannot control that feeling.

I've tried to attempt suicide since I was 8/9 years old, more than 40 times since then.

You don't know me, or what's going on for me, or live in my shoes, so you don't have a right to judge & down play my problems.

& Telling me I can be stronger than this...
I am being as strong as I can right now, so don't try & tell me how strong I am or how strong I'm being or how strong I should be...
Resisting suicide & self harming behavior, for me, is one of the hardest things I'm fighting against right now.
Pretty damn strong in my eyes, maybe not in yours, but it is in mine.

I don't care if I get -rep for this or bashed for this either, so go on right ahead & do that if you wish to.

Bullshit.

Everyone has control over the way they feel. Saying you can't control it is just a lame way of saying I don't want to try blah blah blah I want attantion bla blah look at me. Humans were meant to endure, we are meant to endure so much more than any of us go through nowadays, both physically and mentally. So don't give me shit about how you can't change anything and how much you're suffering.

Cheers

[BeautifulDisaster]

Motormouth, clearly you lack any sensitivity.

You're so full of yourself, posting around as if you're some smart ass, know it all king.

Newsflash honey, you aren't any of those things.

It's laughable that you act as if you are that, & more.

It's people like you that f*ck others up even more.

Well, I've been mind f*cked by the best, you can't touch me.

If you don't like my threads, don't post.

Simple.
As.

That's all.

"Cheers."

:)

[2D]

Whew, that's a lot of quotes from a very small post.

Motormouth, clearly you lack any sensitivity.

On the contrary, I am very sensitive, I just don't think most people deserve sensitivity.

You're so full of yourself, posting around as if you're some smart ass, know it all king.

Uhhh, yeah.

Newsflash honey, you aren't any of those things.

That's debatable.

It's laughable that you act as if you are that, & more.

At least I made you laugh right?

It's people like you that f*ck others up even more.

Eh, people need assholes.

Well, I've been mind f*cked by the best, you can't touch me.

I'm not trying to, you misunderstand me.

If you don't like my threads, don't post.

Then don't post hopelessly depressing posts that say you can't change the way you are.

Simple.
As.

Easier said than done, same goes for you.

That's all.

Folks.

"Cheers."

Copycat.

:)

(;

[BeautifulDisaster]

Have you read the title of this part of the forum?
Depression, Loss and Grief.

Expect hopelessly depressing threads in this part.

Don't like those type of threads, don't come to this part of the forum.

I've read a heck of a lot more hopelessly depressing threads than the ones I post though, & I don't see you in them making them feel ten times worse.

I've a feeling you love to attack me, personally.

Not gonna let you get to me though, I've dealt with many people like you.

Have a lovely evening now.
(or not, either way.)


Moving on swiftly, don't have neither the patience or strength to deal with BS from someone like that.

[Discomposure]

Well, what aren't they doing properly? What isn't working?

[BeautifulDisaster]

*shrugs*

[Asylum]

*hugs* hey... you can PM me if you just want oto rant if somethign is wrong

[BeautifulDisaster]

thank you, but clearly all i want is sympathy/attention so, Ill skip that offer.

[2D]

This.

thank you, but clearly all i want is sympathy/attention so, Ill skip that offer.

Proves my point.

[BeautifulDisaster]

never heard of sarcasm i see.

i also see you just cant help yourself but make my day worse.

ah well, you failed.

fuck off now. :)

[CuriousDestruction]

motormouth, stop making an ass of yourself. or if you are going to, do it on another forum. Aimee, try to stop engaging him. this will only make stuff worse. PM me if you wanna talk or rant or discuss politics or tell me i'm wrong. :)

[2D]

never heard of sarcasm i see.

i also see you just cant help yourself but make my day worse.

ah well, you failed.

fuck off now. :)

I do. Especially a response using sarcasm to get nothing but attention and reactions. I know I'm in the right so I have no reason to stop.

I would like to point out I was never outright mean or hateful to you in this thread. Just blunt and I spoke my mind. So no, I will not "fuck off". Sorry to crash your pity party guys.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Curious, I agree, thank you. =)

[2D]

You know what. I think I may have pegged you wrong. Sorry for anything that may have offended you.

[Blood]

*Hugs*

[BeautifulDisaster]

Curious...
Why the sudden change in attitude?
Or perhaps it's just a way to get attention yourself?

& thank you for the hugs.

[2D]

I don't need attention anymore. I got over that a year back or so.

I think I just had you wrong. I think it's the unrelenting cheerfulness that did it. Anyway, I hope you stay strong.

I'll be exiting this thread now so if you want to talk PM.

[BeautifulDisaster]

Hmm... alright.

I'm unsure if this is to be taken seriously, but I get the feeling it's decent... coming from you, anyway...
I don't see a lot of apologies made by you around here, so I guess I should be grateful for this.

Thanks...

[Mysterious Skin]

I am feeling the exact same way my brother just died and i feel as tho i should go to but then i feel like wht would happen without me what would my parents feel like? so heres a hug and hope u feel better

[BeautifulDisaster]

Jordy, my biological parents would be fine, I'm sure.
They have both neglected me & abused me since I was born.

I'm glad that keeps you going though.

[Pirate]

My psychiatrist has actually made this worse.


I find I have the same problem with psychiatrists. Talking them only makes me feel worse. I think it's because you lack any kind of bond with this person and they're enquiring into things that are painful or stressful to think about - even if they are trying to help.

I hope you're feeling better today lovely, you can have as many hugs as you want. xx

[BeautifulDisaster]

Hey Rosie.
I'm glad I'm not the only one.

My psychiatrist didn't even speak about the things I was saying(ie; wanting to kill myself), so when I came home, I overdosed.

I really feel like she couldn't care less.

I've found my friends are goddamn better at caring than professionals, particularly psychiatrists.
Then again, it isn't in their "profession" to care or bond with patients.
Just to diagnose & treat.
*rolls eyes*

<3
Thank you for the hugs, I could use them right now.