my friend and his gf

[javs26]

well, my friend and his gf seem pretty okay alright... nope... you see, my friend has major depression and he seriously hates to be proven wrong. he thinks he knows a whole lot about dating but obviously he doesnt because he is waay to on and off with his gf (shes a BITCH!). like one day they are all happy and holding hands... next day hes like "shes a slut, i saw her making out with another guy"... one week later - they are dating again and they are all happy... 4 days after that she cheats on him again.... its the same routine and its not healthy, hes already tried commiting suicide multiple times (different occasions), hes done like every possible no-no to commit suicide and i keep telling him not to go out with her but he keeps doing it and gets mad at me. the guy is like my brother but he just cant see she is a controlling cheating asshole. yesterday he had his head down crying during notes for a big quiz in history. i dont know what to do because im around for everything and i have heard her telling him that she does not like one of our friends and he stopped talking to her. he wont listen to anyone and shes just gonna end up as another scar on his wrist again... hes just convinced that shes the one for him but shes just screwing around with him.

what do you think would be the best way to make him see that she is unhealthy for him?

[Aspiringanonymous]

Express your opinion clearly and get to the point. Don't raise your voice, and if he offers to start an argument, don't respond back. After all, that will only make him more defensive - you want to leave him with some sober thinking to do. Say everything you need to say, end off the talk with making it clear that his well-being is in his own hands, and walk away.

It is perhaps one of the most difficult scenarios to observe in friends - watch them waste their rational mind away - but no one can attain awareness for him, it is something he must arrive at himself.

[Art_dude]

Maya pretty much nailed it.

The only thing I would perhaps edit is to express what you're seeing and not what you're feeling; I'm not saying your opinion isn't valid but you'll have a better chance to get him to listen if you enter with an objective statement like, "This is what's happening to you." and follow up with, "and that's why it's killing me to see you in this pain."

As Maya said, you need to make it known that the issue and his well-being is in his own hands and that only HE can help himself. However, stress to him that you're there to help throughout the process. Make it known that you care, and he'll be more responsive. Other than that there's not much you can do. I don't like to recommend threatening ultimatums, but if you've done everything you can, and you've made it known to him that this is it, then you need to get out. Tell him you're only human, and you can only do so much.

[javs26]

im just gonna drop it, our other best friend is better at making people aware at what they are doing, ill have him talk about it with him cus he also doesnt like her and knows whats happening

[ilovemyboyfriend]

Hm.
You need to show him that there are other girls that are willing to be loyal to there boyfriend. He needs to see she is no good for him

[javs26]

belive me, ive tried, he doesnt know what he wants cus he says he h8s fat chicks... yet he dated 3 and sexed 2....i cant help him if he doesnt tell me what hes looking for cus love is not specific enough

[Mr. Smithers]

I would just let him be. Hopefully he learns a lesson through this. If you said talking to him won't work, let the school of hard knocks do it.

[javs26]

ok i guess, but hes suicidal so thats why i dont want that to happen, he has seriously jumped out his balcony and his apartment is top level out of three floors, he has happy pills but they dont work for him, hes on the high doses of the stuff, also he has been to countless therapy and psychologists... its a rough time for our friend group right now, this is just 1 of the problems