No self confidence... Help?

[candyglue]

Hi there. I'm new here (obviously) I joined because I have major self confidence issues. The people around me don't help, and neither do people on-line.

Its the little things, my friends tell me I'm beautiful but they're all girls and I feel like it's their job to say it. In school, parties, anywhere they say I'm pretty but yet no one looks at me. They just look at the easy lays. I know I shouldn't care, and I know those people aren't worth my time, but it still hurts. Then the even stupider things like talking on omegle with someone who's my age, is cute, and is very nice. But as soon as i show a pic they log off. I dunno, that site is creepy but, ugh.
I'm not desperate to have someone special, just, i don't even know. I'm afraid I'll do something dangerous if someone doesn't come along soon...

I get hurt easily when it comes to beauty, and even the slight 'your hair is messy today' will get me sad.

I'm rambling and I hope someone out there is reading and wants to help, thanks... :/

[zoom zoom]

Well u should listen to your friends because they r right. you are a very beautiful girl, but that judging from your pic. if i could ever get to know you and know how you act that was real beaut comes from for me. i dont really judge people by their looks. i like to judge them by who they r. but from your pic you look really nice. so i think you should listen to your friends. : )

[Blue63]

Emily, I know your pain. Lack of self-confidence comes in many forms. I have very little self confidence, which is a big improvement to what I used to be like. It, combined with my high anxiety, rocketed me into depression.

I feel like I'm always the but of jokes of my friends, the kid that's there that they love to hate. I've never dated anyone, I've had a few chances, but it wasn't with anyone I really liked. I know the angst you have to want someone else in your life, it's not desperation, it's kind of indescribable. You can't go looking for it, don't do anything you'll regret.

You're right, it's always the little things. Someone gives you a "compliment" and you don't believe them. I know that feeling

Sadly there's no quick fix, you have to learn to be comfortable with yourself. This is extremely hard. You can't wait for someone to come along to become your crutch. You need to learn how to be okay when you're alone. I have a psychologist, and he's helped me work through a lot of confidence issues. You may want to look into that, or you might just want to find someone you can openly talk to.

If you ever want to talk, let me know!

[Art_dude]

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking. Are you asking about how you could improve your self confidence, or what to do relationship-wise?

First off, don't do anything stupid. No guy, or lack-there-of is worth doing anything reckless over. If I were you, I would try working on my self confidence before trying anything with another person. It's difficult to start and keep relationships when you're constantly worried about your self image.

I'm sorry you're feeling upset :( Not that a random stranger's comment online will magically make you feel better, but you are, in all honesty, very pretty. I won't lecture you on trying to 'take it easy' on yourself; Most people aren't aware that self esteem is a complex issue. There are absolutely no quick fixes - one must dig deep and go to the darkest recesses of the mind to find out when this happened, how it happened, and why. Not only that, you have to be willing to help yourself. You need to learn to love yourself enough to dig yourself out of the hole of critical self-judgement. Only then can you heal.

Matt said some great things btw - take him up on that offer if you ever need to talk! I won't go into his personal life but like he said he has suffered through some self confidence, and he has overcome so much! I'm so proud of all that he has done to help himself. He is very knowledgeable and is a great person to talk to. If you ever need someone else, I'm here too!
Namaste

[bei390]

i think u are butifull do u whant 2 go out?

[2D]

i think u are butifull do u whant 2 go out?

Lame pick up line is lame.

You're gorgeous, don't believe a word anyone else says otherwise.

Cheers, love.

[littlekristen411]

This is not a chain.

There was once a very, very handsome man. He had the face of an angel. He was dating all the most beautiful women, but he always felt like something was missing. One day, a man came and told him that he'd pay him to date his sister for a while. Since he wasn't happy anyways, he thought he might as well try it. She turned out to be the ugliest girl he'd ever seen but he wanted the money, so he dated her. After a while, he fell in love with her personality. But because of her hideous appearance, he refused to be seen with her in public. Eventually, he took her to bed and she transformed into the prettiest woman he'd ever seen. She told him that this was her true appearance and that every night she would reveal herself to him as long as he would treat her the same, no matter what she looked like and if he married her. So, he did just that. He was the happiest man alive.

I'm not entirely sure where I heard this story, but it helped me realize that some people may not be as beautiful on the outside, because they are beautiful on the inside.

"Girls are like apples. All the good ones are at the top. But the boys are too lazy to climb all the way up to get them. So they settle for the easy but rotten ones on the ground. Because of this, the apples at the top think there's something wrong with them, when in reality, they are better than all the others. They just have to wait for the guys that actually care to climb up to the top to get them."

[zoom zoom]

i think u are butifull do u whant 2 go out?

lol what r u thinking saying that?

[kyle95]

i like everyone's advice here. for crying out loud emily, you're pretty!! more importantly you're a very sensitive girl. don't confuse sensitivity with a lack of confidence. we all lack confidence sometimes, some of us are just better at hiding it. what you need to do is separate your emotions and prioritise: other people "making out" has nothing to do with how acceptable you are, they're simply paired off because they like each other; don't let comments or emotions get the better of you - take a hard and realistic look at how this truly effects you, not what is perceived, because perception is sometime wishful thinking and delusional if not checked.

there's no need for you to follow the dangerous path of self harm. success in life is not measured by "pairing up" or living up to a perceived expectation. success is how well you cope daily with the mundane as well as profane. you're a very sweet and smart girl, love yourself above all.