I don't understand....!??!?!?! please read!

[Asylum]

problem solved

[Aspiringanonymous]

i don't understand why he is upset...
Most likely, neither does he. Not everything has a distinct, obvious cause - heck, when dealing with emotions, they often don't - but that doesn't make an experience any less real or valid. Attempting to understand the full scope of the situation is perhaps something he could do for himself, when he feels mentally capable. That said, coping with and subduing potentially dangerous emotions should come before the intellectual aspect of the issue.

i treid to reason wit him.... why would you do something like that? think of everythigg you'll leave behind? Thnk of how that will affect me, your family, and friends...
As someone who was never affected by that particular statement, I think you'd have to take on an entirely different approach altogether when dealing with his crisis. I'm not sure what exactly that could be, but everyone responds differently to various ideas - you know him better than I, perhaps you would better know what he needs to hear to sober up.

but should i tell his parents...or who? Who would be the best person to tell?!
Again, apply your own knowledge of this person and their situation as a whole. He's confided in you - part of that must give hints as to how his parents would handle information like that. As to how you should approach him in general, that is something you must figure out for yourself, hopefully arriving at a result that is suitable for both you and him.

Good luck.

[Asylum]

you're right... he probably doesn't understand it either.... is there any way ican help him, besides telling someone about his cutting?
Your're right.... it probably didn't affect him. It never did with me either.... i'll have to try a different approach.
alright i guess i'm on my own with helping him and appraoching the situation

thanx for yoru repsonse

[Aspiringanonymous]

is there any way ican help him, besides telling someone about his cutting?
Be willing to discuss his situation calmly, is all I can think of at the moment. Having another person to bounce ideas off of is usually more effective than solitary contemplation. Perhaps, through discussion, new insights may be uncovered - but the key is to stay rational and collected.

You cannot truly help him, if you are experiencing an emotional roller-coaster yourself.

[DSV-Dan]

If you tell his parents or some one, he might think you are backstabbing him and it will only get worst, try what the others said, and talk to him real clam.

[maddii-may]

people self harm sometimes because of underlying issues. my best mate self harmed and he made me really upset about it and after summin happened in one of my lessons with him he tried to kill himself twice so i called my mum 4 help she called the school and i had to speak to someone from social severcesmand then they helped. if you tell some who you know will help he should get help and then stop x

[Aspiringanonymous]

If you tell his parents or some one, he might think you are backstabbing him and it will only get worst
It is a possibility. I speak with absolute certainty that if anyone ever told my parents, their scorn alone would probably drive me to attempt something drastic.

Hence why, being the trusted friend that you are, you should have a reasonable understanding of what is best.

[Asylum]

alright thanx guys for your help... i guess i'll just talk to him calmly about it next time i see him in peron... if he is planning on doing somehitng drastic... i htink i should tell soemone to get him help... otherwise i've just let my best friend die...

[BeautifulDisaster]

"Any problem in life is challenging to the one who is dealing with it and shouldn't be downplayed just because someone else out there seems to have it worse."

He struggles with his own problems, which to you, may seem not as bad as it could be, but to him, he copes through injuring himself, that's all you should be worrying about, helping and supporting him, not trying to down play on why he does it, or act as if he hasn't got a good enough reason.

[Asylum]

I'm not trying to down play his problems... but I guess your right Aimee, I guess he is just a really sensitive guy when it comes to situations... and also instead of trying to understand him I should just support him in anyway possible... however wouldn't understanding him help me help him? if that makes sense... No, i never would say something like i don't understand why you do it... i knwo he does it to cope... i just don't know with what exactly... i guess he hasn't really fully opened to me yet, or perhaps the things he is dealing with now he is jsut really sesitive too them, but he does tell me everything...

[jess_undead]

Just talk with him, stick by him and most of all, listen to him. Do not abandon him.

[Krazymitch]

no offence. but u dont know what he isnt telling u, u dont know what goes on behind the seens. everyone i know thinks my family is lovely and all tht crap. but as soon as the door closes and they leave, it is immediately hell of hells...just stay with him, understand he might not want to tell u things. and accept that. im sure u love hime and im sure he loves u.

[Asylum]

very true mitch... he told me the other day, he wasn't telling me something.... so i really hope everything is ok.... yes i knwo , thats the way my home is.. i will always stay with him. true... he might not... i hope one day he will be able to... but right now i'll accept that, and i won't bother him about it. it's his decision to open up to me.. i just need to be supportive. i'm not goign to give up on him or leave him.

[Asylum]

i shall Jess. i talk to him alot on the phone, when i can't physically see him.