My girlfriend has a girlfriend.

[Just...Will]

A while ago my girlfriend told me she was bi, which doesn't bother me. But recently, she told me she got a girlfriend (also bi). She doesn't believe this to be cheating on me; she thinks, and cannot be dissuaded from the belief, that to be cheating on me she would have to find another boyfriend. How can I remedy this situation?

[MoveAlong]

Well that's intresting, I haven't heard one of those before :P

I think it is cheating, but it's the other person, and they usually don't see things as you see them. I say sit with her and talk (ugh yeah old fasioned talking, can't we invent a laser that will do the job?). And tell her how this makes you feel. If she is too stuck up to talk with you about this then I don't know. I'm sorry. But if she will listen to you, then tell her that it's still cheating. She is enjoying her experiences with another person at the same equivilent as to you. That makes you feel...how?
I would feel kinda cheated, because here is this person I devote time to and have fun with but she goes and has a second person. In love, it's about selfishness for the person you are caring for.
But here's the thing: you can have a hot lesbian threesome :lol:

:P But the first thing I think you should do is talk with you girlfriend and tell her how you feel. It might feel hard to do that. But it isn't really that hard if you put it in your own words. You could start it out as "hey you know this girlfriend you have. Yeah well see..."
or maybe "I don't like it that you have another person your seeing. That makes me feel bad"
Those might sound kinda weird to you, so please put it in your own words.

Hope I helped :cowboy:

[serial-thrilla]

you can always have a 3some.

[Bobby]

Okay well weather she likes it or not... she's cheating. But i find it odd that she would tell you. If this bothers you than you should ask her to break up with other girl. or break up with her.

[Kiros]

Donnie? Wouldn't it be slightly hard to have a lesbian threesome with a guy in the mix? :P

Anyway, this is actually a problem for many people. Some people do not even realize it because their partner never tells them. If nothing else, feel lucky that your girlfriend is open enough and trusts you enough to tell you about her girlfriend. Though your main goal is to let her know that you want to be the love of her life, not just a side-project. You shouldn't use the word cheating, as that's a serious accusation in relationships. Just sway around that and keep the focus that you want to be her friend, her comfort, her love. Do not let her try to get off topic; look her in the eyes with a sincere face while you're talking to her. If she (implies that she) wants to be held, then hold her, but just don't break the mood. If she listens to you and thinks about it, then she is having a hard time choosing (and contrary to popular belief, that's a good thing). Let some time pass - at least a day but no more than two. While around her, just smoothly bring up a conversation about you and her girlfriend, but don't push it as far as you did before - just see if she will stay with you. If so, be glad, fill every cell in your body with joy, and express it all with your face... If not, you should let her know that you like her (or love her) so much, you'll respect her decision, (if you can live in this kind of a relationship) and you'll find a way to make it work or (if you cannot handle her having you and some girl) you can just be friends for now on. That decision is completely up to you, though at that point in time, if she has made up her mind, then believe it.

I hope everything goes well, Will! Good luck! :D

[MoveAlong]

Donnie? Wouldn't it be slightly hard to have a lesbian threesome with a guy in the mix? :P
Oh sorry didn't notice that :mrgreen:

Anyway, this is actually a problem for many people. Some people do not even realize it because their partner never tells them. If nothing else, feel lucky that your girlfriend is open enough and trusts you enough to tell you about her girlfriend. Though your main goal is to let her know that you want to be the love of her life, not just a side-project. You shouldn't use the word cheating, as that's a serious accusation in relationships. Just sway around that and keep the focus that you want to be her friend, her comfort, her love. Do not let her try to get off topic; look her in the eyes with a sincere face while you're talking to her. If she (implies that she) wants to be held, then hold her, but just don't break the mood. If she listens to you and thinks about it, then she is having a hard time choosing (and contrary to popular belief, that's a good thing). Let some time pass - at least a day but no more than two. While around her, just smoothly bring up a conversation about you and her girlfriend, but don't push it as far as you did before - just see if she will stay with you. If so, be glad, fill every cell in your body with joy, and express it all with your face... If not, you should let her know that you like her (or love her) so much, you'll respect her decision, (if you can live in this kind of a relationship) and you'll find a way to make it work or (if you cannot handle her having you and some girl) you can just be friends for now on. That decision is completely up to you, though at that point in time, if she has made up her mind, then believe it.

I hope everything goes well, Will! Good luck! :D
Oohh...I was aiming for something like that^^
I hope mine helped at least a little :(

[There_Goes_My_Life]

Here's how I see it... if U view it as cheating... then it is, but if you were ok with it then it would be fine... but me PERSONALLY... I think it's cheating..

[Jazbo]

And the remedy is.....

THREESOME! WOO! You sir, have quite a rare honor that not many men have. Take advantage of the situation and thank your girlfriend gratuitously.

[Cable]

Actually if they are both bi a threesome is not out of the range of possibility.

[MoveAlong]

Still, I was just using that as a joke...Having a threesome isn't much of a remedy :lol: Anyway habook if you have an update or more info then please post! :)

[Just...Will]

Nothing yet, sorry.

[infra_red]

Yes it is definately cherating as the definition to it is to go out with some other person whilst in a relationship which is what she is doing. No matter whether male or female its still cheating. Think of it as if you were married, if she had an affair it could be with a male or female and technically she is still seeing sum1 else behind your back. I would definately talk 2 her about ti and find out whether it is for real with you or her girlfriend and ask her to decide...good luck!!1:yes:

[mr_smite1]

lol, i aggree with infra red

[RowanVer.3.0]

you can always have a 3some.
Word =p

[Dante]

this is quite interesting...i mean she is cheating on you, but considering the circumstances...you could have a threesome...and everything would be rihgt in the world and as someone said, this is very rare...jump on it....but you have to talk to your girlfriend, tell her how you feel

[Ravenous]

This is just screaming "threesome" at me, if your girl and her girl are both hot, then why not?

[~Dazed&&Confused~]

ye exactly... you might even hit the jackpot.. 2 girls for 1 guy.. i got that off Dodgeball :D..

[mr_smite1]

lol, that would be sooo fun. Imagine the jelousy from ova guys wen u tell them wat happened :P

[MoveAlong]

So Will, anything yet?


Word =p
:O I thought I'd never see you again! Even though I never knew you :P


Yes it is definately cherating as the definition to it is to go out with some other person whilst in a relationship which is what she is doing. No matter whether male or female its still cheating. Think of it as if you were married, if she had an affair it could be with a male or female and technically she is still seeing sum1 else behind your back. I would definately talk 2 her about ti and find out whether it is for real with you or her girlfriend and ask her to decide...good luck!!1:yes:
Aah please don't post that big it's annoying! :P

[DouggyO.o]

A while ago my girlfriend told me she was bi, which doesn't bother me. But recently, she told me she got a girlfriend (also bi). She doesn't believe this to be cheating on me; she thinks, and cannot be dissuaded from the belief, that to be cheating on me she would have to find another boyfriend. How can I remedy this situation?


at my school they dotn condisder it as cheating just cash in twice lol well dont than it would be cheating but if u dont like it than tell her

[northskater110]

habook, u have been mi friend for a long time, and as other people put it ,
this situation is scraming to me3-some!
but really, if ur uncomfortable with this, pm me and we will talk about if u wana 3 it or dump her off.

[RowanVer.3.0]

:O I thought I'd never see you again! Even though I never knew you :P


Meh, I'm to lazy to be a dedicated member. I come and go when I'm bored and that's it.

But, seriously, about the whole thing-here's the reality of it all:
An intimate relationship is still an intimate relationship regardless of the person's orientation right? Then, obviously it's still cheating. It doesn't matter if it's with a girl or boy, it's still not being devoted to your significant other...

-Rowan

EDIT: Try the threesome thing first though :p.... What..?

[mr_smite1]

fair do's. but would you rather have 2 girls/boys onto you rather than 1......


greed is the greatest sin, and also the most deadly.....

[weredemon]

threaten to dump her

[Serenity]

Hello Mr. weredemon.

Welcome to the forums. Please review the VT Rules & FAQs which you obviously need to read again because had you read them thoroughly the first time around you would know better than to bump a thread that is more than 2 years old.

Thanks very much.

Thread locked.