My eyes

[SlightlySane]

Watch my eyes
Pay attention now
See the color they have?
Watch it fade now

See their warmth
Like a fire's glow
Vibrant and bright
Watch it die now

Notice their attention
That they pay to everything
How they watch the world
Watch them not notice now

My eyes have shown you all my soul
They have led you into my deepest world
Remember how they show you who I am?
Watch them close now, I’ve been damned

[DaretoFallup]

Wow. Very..just...I don't know, wow.

[SlightlySane]

Is that a good or a bad wow lol

[superstar2067]

Amazing, just amazing

[Aves]

:O Ryne, you are amazing at writing! It's just AMAZING :D

[Sunshine Girl]

i really like this. fantastic (:

[Jean Poutine]

This is actually not bad. I have seen much worse. You seem to have a good grasp of the linking of ideas within a poem, and how to order them. However, nothing is perfect, and things are always up to improvement. Since you're already decent, I'll be a little harder on you, don't take it personally. Here are my criticisms :

Watch my eyes
Pay attention now
See the color they have?
Watch it fade now

See their warmth
Like a fire's glow
Vibrant and bright
Watch it die now

Notice their attention
That they pay to everything
How they watch the world
Watch them not notice now

My eyes have showed you all my soul
They have led you into my deepest world
Remember how they show you who I am?
Watch them close now, I’ve been damned

I have italicised what I thought could be said another way. In poetry, clichés are not of much use. Don't get me wrong, the imagery is decent. Fire can indeed be linked to passion and courage, among other things, and you made decent use of the image. But it is such a cliché. I would have used something else, personally. Perhaps something more precise, that could have decried your state of mind more precisely. Fire is a huge field, and there are some images, like stubbornness and impulsivity, that perhaps you did not want to use, but they show up anyway. Maybe if you can jot it down to a more precise being that can still convey the idea of passion, aliveness and warmth while also conveying something else relevent. This is relatively minor but I think it is important. Making good use of imagery is paramount, and the more precise it is, the better. Next time, stay away from the cliché and delve deeper into it, you might be surprised at what you find.

To this end, I can suggest an exercice. Write the emotion you want to use imagery for, draw a circle around, and start linking stuff that reminds you of the emotion. For example, if I were to use "sly", I would link to it foxes and thieves, two clichés, but also the subtleness of nature itself, the delicate but dangerous thorns of roses, the calm or furious high seas, anything implying some underhandedness. All this imagery has a common theme but also imply something different : nature is majestic, roses are beautiful, water is imprevisible and treacherous. I took here the bigger meaning of "sly" as "cunning", so I can come up with lots of different things. If I stay with the fox I'm incredibly limited. This is what I meant by using more precise imagery.

I have bolded what is clunky. "Not notice" is incredibly ugly. There are more elegant words that can express the same meaning : disregard, discard, neglect, overlook. Furthermore, you have one verse that basically repeats what is written directly above it. Get rid of the one you like less and build on the idea without repeating it. If you want to emphasize, there are better means to. Personally, I would keep "[My eyes] have led you into my deepest world" and lose the first verse, and develop slightly into something else.

You also seem to like the verb "to watch". Personally I would have kept the repetition as the first word of some of your verses, in the sense, "see how", as it is meaningful. However, for the verse "How they watch the world", I would have used a synonym as this instance of "watch" is not linked with your repetition.

Underlined are spelling mistakes or misuses. The past participle of "to show" is "shown". Minor, but necessary. And "the" fits better than "their".