How do I deal?

[ToastBandito]

Okay. I dont really know how to start this but...

It started when I was about 7. My dad was hardly home and my Mum was a drunk who hardly ever came out of her room. I was never a popular girl so I tried to have a close relationship with my family. My sister began to call me a stupid bitch and would pull my hair or punch me (at this time she was 10 or 11). A year later it escaladed to pushing me down things, slamming me into things, or using me as a dog to get what she wanted in life. She would hit me and punch me until I did what she wanted. A year after that my dad came home so she didnt abuse me as much when he was home and/or awake. It got worse when we moved from San Anonio a year later. She left her friends and began to treat me worse. She would bite me, hit me with whatever she could find, strangle me and she even punched a window and it gave me many cuts. When I turned 10 she wouldnt talk to me and if she needed me she would just use violence.

Is this sexual abuse?: She Locked me in a bathroom and had me touch her breasts. I was terrified. She then moved my hand down to her "nethers" and forced me to finger her lightly. I was so scared and I was at my friends house when this happened.
When I was 13 she started to tone down but I'm still scared of her when she's mad because I dont know what she'd do. I have panic attacks when anyone is yelling and have a constant guilty feeling aswell.

What am I supposed to do? I havent told anyone till now

[BuryYourFlame]

Yes that is sexual abuse.

I very strongly recommend you tell a trusted adult or a close friend if telling an adult is too hard. There are many counselling services available for abuse victims and it sounds like this would be beneficial to you.

You are not alone, good luck =]

[iCookie Jar]

This may not seem like much help, but theres a book called 'Tell me why, Mummy'. It's about a kid who was abused by his Family and what he did about it. It's terrorfiyingly beautiful.

But, yes, this is sexual abuse. I suppose theres nothing more to add to Tuxedo Mask's Post. I just wanted to reccomend this book, because it might help you.

[SmileyGirl]

Yeah the part about the touching in stuff is probably abuse or assault.

[LingeringLove]

Yes that is consdered sexual abuse, she is FORCING you to do this and is threatening to hurt you if you don't.
You should tell a trusted adult, like an aunt, a friends mother, or a teacher. They can help you and your sister won't be Able to hurt you anymore, so, telling the truth to some one is the best thing to do.