Anomaly. - Small section of What im writing.

[bigguy2010]

Got rid of it!

[Jean Poutine]

Lose the hundred modifiers to every noun (something deafening is already loud by definition, you don't need the "loud").
Lose the thesaurus (how can something "exquisitely" land on someone?).
Lose the run-on sentences.

You write like Stephenie Meyer. This is not a compliment.

[bigguy2010]

She's the one making millions, while people like you don't :)



No need to be rude. Constructive Criticism would be great, thanks.

Oh By the way thanks for the compliment!

[Jean Poutine]

You asked for criticism, I gave you criticism. I have no patience for people like you that ask for criticism, as long as it doesn't say anything bad about their work. This is a completely stupid mentality. You apparently do not know what constructive means. I told you what was wrong, examples of what was wrong and how to fix them. This is constructive, just unfavorable. The term you're looking for is "favorable criticism only", which makes you a humongous douche. It's easy to ignore unfavorable criticism by deeming it "rude". It takes much bigger cojones to actually do something about it. Another thing you should lose is the ego.

I study in the field. I know what good writing is like and it's definitely not Meyer's. The fact that she makes millions is irrelevent. So do Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers. Thousands of teens are getting off on the sexual depravities of a terrible writer, by the force of marketing alone. This does not prove that her writing, or yours, is anything more than mediocre.

By the way Stephen King also criticised her writing and he's also making millions. If your argument ever was something more than stupid and on shaky grounds, it's also refuted now.

Now stop thinking you're clever with your asinine arguments and go fix up your writing so publishing houses don't laugh you out of their premises.

[bigguy2010]

Hmm well there's an opinion ( which is what i asked for, so obviously you didn't read my post quite as well as you thought ) and there's being rude. Stop patronising me, i came on here for a bit of advice and a few tips and any improvements. i have only just turned 16 of course i am not going to write a best seller. Now you can also stop thinking your clever.

[Jean Poutine]

You're confusing "rude" and "direct".

My opinion was unfavorable and direct. It was not rude, nor was it unconstructive. Seriously man, you're not making any effort. If you just wanted a circlejerk then you should've said it.

You wanted tips? I gave you tips. Being clunky and roundabout is not an appreciable quality in writing. I don't want to spend most of my reading time filtering out gratuitous analogies, comparisons and adjectives/adverbs to get to a point. The sooner you learn this, the better.

At 16 I was entering poetry contests. There's no age to write well, or start to.

Also, it's "[...] you're clever".

[bigguy2010]

Right, well its plain rude. Theres much more helpful ways of wording things, which would of benefited me and given me respect for you. Oh and for your infomation, i dont want to be a writer, its just a hobby, thought i'd share, maybe get abit of help, all i got was a smart arse, who is no where near as clever as he thinks.

[dantheman5000]

listen buddy i do agree with the run on sentences and the thesaurus thing but give the kid a break man. in my opinion you are acting like complete and total jerk and if you keep it up ill report you to a mod! I'm sure your writings when you first started where kinda like this. in fact you should be encouraging him and helping him. Don't sit there and point out every flaw in him he just wanted to know what everyone thought. later he asked for constructive criticism so do that. he might of made a mistake when he said "what do you think".

[Jean Poutine]

Right, well its plain rude. Theres much more helpful ways of wording things, which would of benefited me and given me respect for you. Oh and for your infomation, i dont want to be a writer, its just a hobby, thought i'd share, maybe get abit of help, all i got was a smart arse, who is no where near as clever as he thinks.

What the fuck was wrong with my wording? I told you exactly the problems I saw and how to correct them. The only thing approaching "rude" I did (well, before you turned vindictive douche on my ass) was to compare you to Stephenie Meyer, which was much less a stab at you than it was a constatation. Christ, you're one picky eater are you?

Don't remember saying you wanted to be a writer. So since it's a hobby you must to do things half-assed? Okay, do things half-assed. Though don't expect any positive criticism.

I don't expect you to write like Shakespeare, but these were easy little things to correct.

listen buddy i do agree with the run on sentences and the thesaurus thing but give the kid a break man. in my opinion you are acting like complete and total jerk and if you keep it up ill report you to a mod! I'm sure your writings when you first started where kinda like this. in fact you should be encouraging him and helping him. Don't sit there and point out every flaw in him he just wanted to know what everyone thought. later he asked for constructive criticism so do that. he might of made a mistake when he said "what do you think".

Report me for what exactly? Being honest, blunt and to the point? I'm not going to protect your little egos. That's not how life works. If you don't like it, learn to. I seriously have other things to do.

Sure, I of course wrote like shit when I started. The only difference is that I took negative criticism to heart and set out to correct my flaws as a writer, instead of being all scandalised. I placed top 2% in ministerial French exams and won prizes. Critics and people in general won't bother to put on gloves to tear you a new asshole. They just will.

Again constructive criticism. Don't be a douche. I told him what I saw were problems, how to correct it and what to avoid in the future. This is constructive criticism. Perhaps not placed in the most round-about, politically correct way that doesn't hurt feelings, but it IS constructive. Then I get blasted for it?

[dantheman5000]

your the one with an old man as your display pic!!! hah! no one cares about your accomplishments. btw jesus loves [email protected]

[Jean Poutine]

Intelligence at work.