getting in trouble

[Billy15]

i know i told you here that i didn't know if i was gay and i still am not 100% sure but i met this boy on line that i really really like and he likes me and he just makes me feel so complete inside for the first time in my life but we were talking on yahoo the other night (it was the very first time we actually chatted together) and when we were done i forgot about chat logs and my mom read everything that we talked about and totally freaked, i was so stupid and feel like such a loser.

my parents love me and i know that and i love them 2 but they watch me and my brother like hawks all the time when were on the net like were going to do some awful stuff or something and it just makes it so hard to be myself or even feel good about myself because i dont think we deserve all that snooping because i never get into trouble anyways so i dont know why they are like that :(

my mom didnt tell my dad thank god because if she did i would be dead by now because he especially hates gays just like everyone else around here but i told my mom that me and my friend were play acting because he was going to be in this school play but i dont think she believes me because she has been acting very weird 2 me and i feel awful. so now i got to wait until they got to bed to get on here and talk and i dont know what im going 2 do because now she thinks im gay and i just dont want my parents to hate me and i also dont ever want to lose my friend because he is all that makes me feel wanted and normal and im just so sad right now. :(

im sorry because you guys probably dont want to hear about my problems but i had 2 tell somebody.

[Zanra]

Well I'm sorry buddy. I went through the same thing so dont worry. It will pass soon enough and things will go mostly back to normal.

[MrMan]

Hey, Billy

Wish I can help but unfortunatle the only thing I can say is goodluck, hope it will pass soon, just act normal and don't talk about it, remeber we all have the right to be who we are!

[Antares]

Boys Puberty :arrow: Teen Sexuality

[gbe9494]

you should talk with your mom and tell her the truth about how you feel about your sexual preferences, and she should support you. you are her child after all and being gay or not wont ever change that. you will have to tell your family at some point, but if you are not completely sure you should wait and see if you are really gay, although it seems you are gay by reading how you feel about that guy you met.
here is an advice to you: erase the chat logs, why do you even keep them

[nick]

I agree with Gonzalo, I think you should tell your mum the truth now, its fair enough to say you're not completely sure or are confused, but she's not going to believe that play acting stuff so just be honest with her and give her a chance to adjust to the idea.

[Zanra]

I would t say tell her EVERYTHING, but give her the truth in a general way. So you just need to figure out what's going on with you, and than that's all

[Giles]

If you are sure that she already knows then tell her.
Obviously not everything, about your possible experimentation... but tell her that you are quite sure you're gay, that you still love them etc.

[josh93]

sounds like you are haveing the hard part of life and it is hard to tell parents even though i didnt tell mine it would be hard to and it is alot of peopel that hate gay and bi peopel but you will get through it and the outher posts i read are guiding you right i would say the truth but dont give everything out you have each right to like who you like. like you parents do.

[Bard95]

I feel for you man i really do. But just like the other guys said, i hope it will pass soon. also your mom shouldnt care, you're are her child

[josh93]

i agree with you in a way Bard95

[Kitty Purry]

Dude jus be honest. As honest as you want to be with her I would wait to tell ur dad

[Baudelaire]

Oh dude, thats awful, and dont be sorry for posting that here, if that happened to me I'd be moritfied.

[cristian123]

sorry to hear that,
but yhu shoudn't feel like that. i bet that there are many people that love you.

[Billy15]

when i read what you guys say it makes me feel better and i know i should be able to do that stuff and tell my parents but you dont understand because my parents would hate me for being gay. my mom aint even sure and she is already giving me the cold shoulder so if i was honest with her she probably wouldnt even talk to me and she would tell my dad.

i met a nice guy on here and we were talking but it wasnt about experimenting or anything like that because we were just finally talking on yahoo and getting to know each other. im not even completely sure about myself yet so even i dont know what is right or wrong or even what i am so i dont want to totally ruin my life when im not even sure yet. i met someone who i think is special and we were just talking and he made me feel normal for a little while thats all and now all this will probably scare him away.

[daveywavey]

I can garuntee you he is not scared away he loves you :)

[Alex17]

Dude that totally sucks but if it makes you feel any better, not kidding you, I had the exact thing happen to me. At least ur parents didn't freak out as bad as mine. See, I'm from Oklahoma, and if you know anything about us, were nit too accepting of hays or bi's ( even though I'm bi) so when my parents found gay pornography on my computer, they sent me to a therapist in Kansas city cause they thought I was gonna end up gay. Even though I'm bi, I still haven't told them the truth. Even to this day, I'm not allowed on the computer, I have to tell them everywhere that I go, ihave to tell them when I get home, I also had to destroy both of my computers and I was not allowed to hang out with 3 of my friends cause I tried to order us all toys.

My advice to you, I promise lil buddy, eventually it will get better. They will relax on you a little bit and when they give you that little inch of freedom, don't run a mile. Wait until they give you a mile of freedom. Also just remember one thing. You don't have to tell Anyone but you need to rememer who you truly are inside. I had to accept the fact thati was bi, even though a little part of me didn't want to. If you need someone to talk to pm me.

[charlie3322]

im in oklahoma tooooooo!!!!!!!!!111 saweeet

[loz4]

Hey, Billy

just act normal and don't talk about it!

don't agree, you have to talk about wether you are gay or not, you can't avoid it for long. So get it over and done with and ignore your dad I hate people who are homophobics.

[rzz1993]

sorry about that man...My parents are homphobic so if that happened to me I would just play it off and act normal..But it all depends if your mom is homophobic or not..If not I would just go ahead and tell her. also if u want to talk about it i am on yahoo now..

[icililim]

Dude im really sorry that really blows. But think of this they have to find out sometime and if your mom has an idea about it before you tell her maybe she will take it easier. Bout you dad hes not gonna kill you for being gay.

[Billy15]

its not just my dad or mom who feels that way its everyone around here and they just dont like gays. tennessee is like in the middle of the baptist bible belt and around here if your gay you would be a huge sinner and a pervert and stuff and that is just how they think so dont move here. besides that my dad owns a construction company so he is 4 sure all dude and he would never understand in a million years. i dont think their mean people its just how everyone thinks around here except 4 me. i would love to feel like i could talk to them about this stuff but trust me thats impossible and i think theyd rather hear that i was a bank robber or something like that then to find out that their son was gay. if you lived here youd know what i mean 4 real but thanks for caring about me anyways. at least i can talk about it here and that means a lot 2 me.

[Sceneboy612]

Oh my god, i am really sorry to hear this. But there is plenty of people in Tennessee who are going through the same thing. Maybe the reason why you feel so isolated is because everyone feels the same way as you and they are afraid to come out. I know that going against society's rules is hard, but if you learn to like yourself, and not to care about what other people think, you can make yourself feel alot better about yourself. And if you keep your chin up, things will get better :).

If you need someone to talk to, i am here to listen :).

[Bard95]

its not just my dad or mom who feels that way its everyone around here and they just dont like gays. tennessee is like in the middle of the baptist bible belt and around here if your gay you would be a huge sinner and a pervert and stuff and that is just how they think so dont move here. besides that my dad owns a construction company so he is 4 sure all dude and he would never understand in a million years. i dont think their mean people its just how everyone thinks around here except 4 me. i would love to feel like i could talk to them about this stuff but trust me thats impossible and i think theyd rather hear that i was a bank robber or something like that then to find out that their son was gay. if you lived here youd know what i mean 4 real but thanks for caring about me anyways. at least i can talk about it here and that means a lot 2 me.

Hey we all love eachother here. And don't be sorry, They are problems from your heart that you wanna deal with. If you wanna chat, im always wanting to help:)

[Appleton]

Hey Billy - I can guarauntee that he still loves you very much. I'm sorry that your family is like that. My dad was too at first and it really took me standing up to him for him to understand what he was doing to me and to finally accept me. This is who I am and if he wanted to be a part of my life in the future he had to accept me for who I am now. I don't know if you're up to doing that and I understand the culture there because that's how it was in the town we just moved from. I really do hope things work out for you and him. Don't give up, keep talking to him and just be yourself. You can't hide who you are and be truly happy. If you need anything, I'm here for both of you.

[SmileyGirl]

1) The guy u met online could be some crazy stalker pervert person so I wouldnt get too comfy talkin to him
2) If ur parents truly have unconditional love then they wont care whether gay, straight, bi or wateva.

[Carfreakjack]

my areas sorta like that 2 but im guessing not as bad as tenn. but i run the risk like everyday with this boy i met on here(he posted in this thread) and i am texting him and its an out of state area code so if my bro or parents saw the code they would kno somethings up and if they see it im screwed b/c there is no hidding what weve said to eachother. and i know hoe u cant just talk to ur mom i would b the same way if it happened. but if she does say something may be come clean to here if u can and say ur bi not gay cuz that might help. um good luck. plz keep me posted on this and feel free to pm if u need help. i m ight be in the same situation that u r. I hope not! good luck billy

[ItsBraden91]

dude you just need to be yourself, if your parents love you then they will accept you for you

[TheDavid]

Hey Billy,

A bit late jumping in here, and I don't mean to sound hypocritical (having not come out to my own parents), but it pretty much sounds like she knows you're gay, so being honest may be the best policy here (unless of course you've convinced her of the play being real since the last post here).

:)

-David

[charlie w]

I think that Alex17 said what is needed,
Good luck dude and don't give up.

[lipstick_kisses23]

My brother went through that exact same thing and my mother FREAKED. My dad disowned him for a long time ( and thats really weird when you live in the same house) and didnt even pick up his phone calls when he went away to college. It took a really long time but he finally came around and got used to the fact that his son was still gonna be his son wether he pretends he exists or not. They even hang out sometimes now.

[cody2010]

i agree with gbe9494. your parents will always love you. nothing will change that. but i would wait to tell them the whole truth just yet, since you're still not sure about your sexuality. good luck!!

[TAC1]

its not just my dad or mom who feels that way its everyone around here and they just dont like gays. tennessee is like in the middle of the baptist bible belt and around here if your gay you would be a huge sinner and a pervert and stuff and that is just how they think so dont move here. besides that my dad owns a construction company so he is 4 sure all dude and he would never understand in a million years. i dont think their mean people its just how everyone thinks around here except 4 me. i would love to feel like i could talk to them about this stuff but trust me thats impossible and i think theyd rather hear that i was a bank robber or something like that then to find out that their son was gay. if you lived here youd know what i mean 4 real but thanks for caring about me anyways. at least i can talk about it here and that means a lot 2 me.

Hey I know how you feel. My family is full of strict Catholics and they dont believe that gays and lesbians should get married.

[Brian12345]

I'm really sorry for what happened to u. I kinda feel the same way. I'm 13 and really excited about puberty. I'm really shy but laid back and easy goin 2. Wish we can talk. IM me at [email protected] if u can.

[that kid]

Well you're not alone. Something similar happened to me. My mom needed my laptop because someone borrowed hers and when she opened it I accidentally left gay porn on. When I got home from school She talked to me about it and I just told her that I'm curious and she was ok with it. What really freaked me out and pissed me off though is that she told my dad because she thought I might have told him about it. I always thought he would freak out because he's sort of homophobic but he was cool with it and told me I'd always be his son no matter what.
I don't know your parents and I don't know what they'd do butt at least just tell your mom that your curious and nothing more. Hold off on telling your dad for awhile though. Sorry but this is the only advice I can offer.

[cody2010]

i live in tennessee too. and you're totally right about the way people think around here, but you know, who needs all these close minded people. just be who you are, all of who you are.

[Billy15]

wow somebody else is from tennessee lol and knows what i mean about the people around here and that is pretty cool. everyone here is so cool and i know what you tell me is only 2 help me and you should know how much that means 2 me because this is the only place i can talk and feel like im not crazy or all alone so thank you everybody here.
i dont think my mom has forgot about what she saw and i doubt that she believes the story i told her but all weekend she was cool and just like mom so im hoping that maybe she is just going to let it all drop and maybe believe that her son couldnt be gay. im not all the way sure what i am and just so confused but im 15 and just cant take a chance of being hated or make them feel not proud of me. i know thats lame and i should be stroger about it but im not and my family means everything 2 me so 4 now anyways i guess ill just keep all this 2 myself and just talk to you guys here and maybe some day i will figure all this out but hey everybody thank you 4 being so nice to me.

[Nelson]

I know the feeling of "someone who completes me", its a nice feeling, but i can ruin you.

Id say wait a while, your only young, wait til your 16 or so, parents belive you more then, i told my dad i was bi at 14, he didnt belive me, i told him now (im 16 this year) and he belives me so thats all

But otherwise good luck

[jimmy mccallum]

mate ive had an experiance similar to that, i cant really be bothered typing about it now, but there your parents and they will love you no matter what your sexuality, it doesnt change who you are.

it will always pass, this phase with your mum wont last forever, she will soon come to terms with it and move on my mum did, soo try not to stress to much mate it will pass

and dont stop talking to your mate either, you should talk to who ever you want mate, all the best in discovering your true sexuality is well i hope it all works out, if not just pm me and i will help

[beedubs]

When you get older you will have the chance to be who you really are. My parents dont accept that im gay but they still love me, hopefully your parents will to. O yea just be carfull who you talk to online because there not always who they say they are. If you need help with this you can pm me.. Im going through the same thing kindof.

[Icarus7]

If you are sure that she already knows then tell her.
Obviously not everything, about your possible experimentation... but tell her that you are quite sure you're gay, that you still love them etc.

I think telling her that you are gay could be difficult but telling that you were having a possible experimentation is easier and can calm down her.

You can either deny it or embrace it, if you deny it then you'll just go back to hiding and holding back the one part of you that you are with inside if you embrace it and just be like "Mom im not gay im just a bit curious" she could understand i think she is only acting wierd becuase of the way she found out its hard for her to understand that you arent gay your simply cconfused so go to ur mom and tell her that u arent gay u are straight and curious (that should take the edge off the akwardness)

Deniyng is like having 2 lifes... in some places and extreme situations one have to do that but it is better to embrace it an telling her "...Mom im not gay im just a bit curious..." that can help a lot!! :)

I don't know your parents and I don't know what they'd do butt at least just tell your mom that your curious and nothing more. Hold off on telling your dad for awhile though. Sorry but this is the only advice I can offer.

agree


Id say wait a while, your only young, wait til your 16 or so, parents belive you more then, i told my dad i was bi at 14, he didnt belive me, i told him now (im 16 this year) and he belives me so thats all
But otherwise good luck

Yep , that is true...a lot of parents don't take those affairs too seriously when one is 14... but talking to your mom about the "experimentation stuff" can help to solve the situation ;)

--- And yes you are not alone...Living in a place with people with conservative mindset and closed minded could be very hard... i live in a catholic country and homophobia against g/bi is terrible...fortunately my friends are very open minded and i can talk to them... I hope these advices can help you :cool: if you need someone to talk about anything just pm me :)

[QueRico95]

Stay in the blue and just use time to forget that little scare to avoid any future heartbreak :(

[QueRico95]

Sorry Bout the Situation

[manlymadness]

Ok you need dams tour space and your parents are probly watchin like a hawk while on the Internet becuase you are boy and the probaly think you are going to go on porn site but stil you are old enough to go on the Internet and word of advise come out of the closet with your mom and make a joke to your dad and say dad I'm gay see what he says if hate you then just say "dad I'm gay because I'm in love with the guy in the mirror!Best of Luck to you and your new guy!