The time has come

[TheKingDavis]

Well the time has come for me to post this thread. Ive been putting it off for some time now.

(WARNING: its going to be LONG)

basically i dont know what to do anymore.

Im so fuckin scared right now.

what do i do?

will i be accepted?

Who the fuck is going to want me?

Idk if this is more Relations and dating, but it seemed more appropriate here.






So here goes. Im scared of becoming gay.
Im for sure bi, but i dont want to turn gay
I never even thought about turning gay until this guy named Marvin stepped into my life

he found out i was bi and started texting me, so we've been talking ever since.
Well hes been trying to get me to go out with him for quite some time now. And i try to avoid it when that question comes up.

recently we started talking more serious, and he started saying he LOVED me.
And im like WAIT! WTF? You dont love me, i told him not to talk with his hormones and to talk with his heart/mind

(you see im not a firm believer in teenage love, i think its more Lust)

So one day he asks me to take a walk with him around the park, so i did, and i regretted it so much after we got done because it felt so RIGHT.

Wtf? im mad because i liked it.

then i went home, started thinking about it and couldnt stop crying, WTF am i crying for. He likes me so much, i dont deserve him. stop crying. AGH. hes to good for you. your so fucking ugly, why would anyone want you. wtf stop crying.

Thats what was going on in my mind.

Well i got stressed out, smoked all my cigs and needed more, so he said if i gave him the $$$ his friend would buy me some more,

so i meet him at walgreens, and give his friend the $$ while his friend is in there, he talks to me and says he likes me so much, and he tries touch my shoulder, which made me uncomfortable

his friend comes out gives me my cigs and walks away

so marvin says "Well babe i gtg"

Babe wtf?

he reaches in my car, puts one hand under my chin, puts the other one on my face and tries to turn my head and he tried to kiss me!!!

WTF!!! dont fucking kiss me!

i struggled and he pulled harder, he gave up and kissed my cheeck.

eww freak why are you kissing me, you dont know me like that.

I texted him bc he walked away right after that, "WTF what were you thinking trying to kiss me"

his reply
"well i enjoyed kissing your cheeck -lol- -blush-"

I said dont txt me, im mad at you


he texts me an hour later "whats up"
"Dont text me im mad at you"
"why"
"You know what you did"
"No i dont what did i do"
"DONT PLAY DUMB ASSHOLE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID"
"No i dont"

so i fwd him what he sent me, and he doesnt reply the rest of the day,

we havent really talked since, and the weird thing is now i kind of want him,

but i dont want to be gay,
im afraid if i date him ill become gay,
i cant be fucking gay, i have to have a wife later on, i need children of my own

Ugh idk what to do,
any help?

oh and thanks for reading my novel :P

[Squisheee]

Hmph,
You sound like me.
Seems like you're running away from who you are.. Or trying to..

and tell this guy whats going on, he must feel horrible right now.

Please use the 'edit' function if you wish to add more to a post, thanks.

~ .Tuxedo Mask.

[zacharooo]

I kinda know how you feel. I had the same feelings for my best friend. In the end I told him everything and we are still buddies but I did get over it. But for sure I did learn one thing from it...I am bi. It's me and I have to accept it. If you are falling for that guy just tell him that you don't want to get to intimate yet. And if you really want a relationship with him, ask him to take it slow. I know how you feel...I had an experience last night with someone that I'm not going to forget and am kinda ashamed of so just take it slow. But if you want you can message me and I can help you. Or you can IM me. Ask me in a message.

[KaelKaos]

Dustin, I'm going to take this in two parts, since what you've posted has enough material for many different threads ;)

I'll start with Marvin. You need to tell him that what he does to you is NOT ok, and he either needs to slow down and treat you like a real person, or leave. He should respect your wishes and if you're not ready for him to call you babe, or tell him he loves you, then he needs to know that.

And I think you've really blown this being gay idea out of proportions. Who wouldn't want you? I will admit, there are people who are weary of gays, but they're ignorant. Your parents should still love you for who you are, gay or straight. And you're a teenager, dealing with hormones that can confuse you and stress you. I think one of these days, you will know whether you are gay or straight, and when you do, you need to embrace it and realize this is who you are.

[TheKingDavis]

and tell this guy whats going on, he must feel horrible right now.

he knows what is going on, i told him my situation when we first started talking

[Squisheee]

he knows what is going on, i told him my situation when we first started talking

Does he know why you freaked out on him?
And havent talked to him since?

[TheKingDavis]

Does he know why you freaked out on him?
And havent talked to him since?

Ive tried talking to him, but he wont respond

[KaelKaos]

Ive tried talking to him, but he wont respond

Then he's not respecting you. Tell him he needs to listen to you and respect your wishes and he doesn't have the right to do that.

[TheKingDavis]

Then he's not respecting you. Tell him he needs to listen to you and respect your wishes and he doesn't have the right to do that.

*sigh*

Idk what to do anymore

[The Joker]

Dustin, I'll be honest with you.

You are being a drama queen. Why do you feel ugly only after somebody told you they love you?

Obviously you aren't if he told you that. But, at the same time, he is being quite creepy, tell him to stop or report him.

If you are gay, you have to accept it. You can still have kids (adoption). If you have a wife and family, but you are actually gay, that would cause so much more pain to you than simply not having a wife.

[TheKingDavis]

Dustin, I'll be honest with you.

You are being a drama queen. Why do you feel ugly only after somebody told you they love you?

Obviously you aren't if he told you that. But, at the same time, he is being quite creepy, tell him to stop or report him.

If you are gay, you have to accept it. You can still have kids (adoption). If you have a wife and family, but you are actually gay, that would cause so much more pain to you than simply not having a wife.

haha why cant i be a king? that doesnt help the matter XD

but idk things are so confusing right now





oh EDIT to the big novel, i have lost all sexual feelings for women, im only emotionally attrected to them

[The Joker]

More likely that is just a temporary thing.

[KaelKaos]

haha why cant i be a king? that doesnt help the matter XD

but idk things are so confusing right now





oh EDIT to the big novel, i have lost all sexual feelings for women, im only emotionally attrected to them

Being gay includes emotional and physical attraction to men. I am not going to tell you you're gay, because that's not something I know for a fact, only you do.

[Sugaree]

oh and thanks for reading my novel :P

QUICK! POP QUIZ! Directed toward...me? :P

Anyway, back to topic. Really, this guy sounds like a big prick. I can understand your feelings, as I have the same for a friend of mine, although he isn't pushy like this guy. Anyway, I think he's trying to prove to you he loves you. It might be lust, might be love, who knows? If you truly feel like you can't return his feelings, then don't. You might regret it, but you will eventually move on.

Concerning the "gay" issue. If you truly feel that you can't be gay, then that is how you feel. But saying that you can't be gay because you want to have children is a bit extreme. Gays can adopt a child, you know. It's not like they're banned from leaving their house or talking. Plus, you must remember that if you DO meet a man you love and decide get married, you better live in a state that allows gay marriage. Really, there is no problem in being gay, it's just that so much evil is attatched to it wrongly that it seems to be bad when it isn't. But if you feel this way, then I don't blame you.

I know we might not get along, but really this is something you and I can connect on. Just take your time and don't rush into anything.

[The Batman]

To me it seems you do like him but you're trying to push him away.

[TheKingDavis]

I think im just scared of my feelings, but what do i know, im going crazy atm

[The Batman]

What you need to do is stop fighting it and embrace them. I learned this the hard way if you run away from who you are then you'll never be satisfied in life.

[mr.sexy_bomb]

ok i think you are lucky to have a guy that likes you like that, and 2 i think you shouldnt be scared of being gay, and whats wrong with raising kids that are not your own?

[nick]

Dustin I dont understand your post at all.

You say that you are definitely bi and yet you seem totally freaked by the idea of letting a guy get close to you or even give you a kiss on the cheek. How can you be bi if you cant take that thought or that experience? That makes no sense to me,

If you are bi then having any kind of close relationship with another guy does not mean that you have "turned gay", it just means that you are exercising that part of your personality. Your next relationship could well be with a girl. You only need to rethink your sexuality if you come to realise that actually you want all of your relationships to be with guys - which is what has happened to me over the last few months.

So the other guys are right to say that you have to accept your sexuality and come to terms with it, but letting this guy get close to you would not mean you had changed from bi to gay.

[TheKingDavis]

I'm not freaked out by a relationship, it's the way it happened

I don't like how he's trying to force me to like him

[Lifeguard18]

To me it seems like you do like hime. Your letting the fear of "becoming gay" get to you. If you're bi and go out with a guy and break up with him and then like a girl and have a wife and kids, that does not mean your gay. Like I said your letting the fear of being gay get into you and that's not healthy and that's why your getting all the stress. You have to accept it sometime in your life. And the guy who likes you probably doesn't want to talk to you because you said you were mad and don't talk to me. Using "you messages" (ex: you did this, you made this happen, you know what you did) isn't helping. Use "I messages" (ex: I'm mad becuase, I'm sorry I said this but you need to listen on what I have to say, I'm mad because). I messages work. It tells how you feel and not making it sound like you're putting blame on someone else. The you messages. By saying you all the time will make him say you messages and that's how a conflict starts. That's how I think it works and I was taught that so many times.

If he's not respecting what you have to say then you need to have a talk with him in person to settle it down. If he still doesn't listen to you then a relationship maybe a little hard.

This is what I think. And if anyone has a response to this on the you and I messages that they think different please respond. I may not have been accurate enough and that can lead to other opinions and start to confuse people.

[Ryhanna]

First of all - Lay down the ground rules. Tell him firmly you dont want him kissing you.

Secondly - you claim to be bi yet afraid of being gay. Gay is when you ONLY like guys. Just because you go out with one guy doesnt make you gay if your attracted to girls.

Finally- You've put this guy in an awful situation. He likes you and thinks you like him but everytime he tries to make a move you run. Make it clear wheher or not you like him and if you like him, PURSUE him. Otherwise, your just living a lie.

[Kitty Purry]

i think that u welll.... might of scared him off, idk tho and well u really need to come to terms with ur sexuality, ur always gonna have feelings for guys so just get over it, u will be so much happier coming to terms with it :P

[charlie3322]

i say stop being a drama queen and figure out wat u want on ur own we cant make decisions for u but really if u wanted him y`d ya bitch him out!!??

[Sugaree]

i say stop being a drama queen and figure out wat u want on ur own we cant make decisions for u but really if u wanted him y`d ya bitch him out!!??

Really? Is this a situation that calls for a lame troll to try and stir things up? No, it is not. I think we're all sensible enough to HELP. We aren't making the decision for him, nor is he asking for us to make it. Dustin is simply asking for help in this situation. By help, I mean advice. By advice, I mean intelligence in such matters relating to the topic. You obviously have none of it.

[TheKingDavis]

Thanks Dog. Well we are talking again, we are going to meet at the park for a smoke and to talk things through.

[The Joker]

Really? Is this a situation that calls for a lame troll to try and stir things up? No, it is not. I think we're all sensible enough to HELP. We aren't making the decision for him, nor is he asking for us to make it. Dustin is simply asking for help in this situation. By help, I mean advice. By advice, I mean intelligence in such matters relating to the topic. You obviously have none of it.

He was being a drama queen.

[Iron Man]

well if you are bi then you dont have to stress over liking only guys. i would say just go for it. try and pursue a relationship if it feels right to you

[2D]

Honestly, with everyone saying "Embrace your sexuality" and the like is a bit like peer pressure. To me the underlying message everyone is saying is "be gay and like it".

Just do whatever the fuck you want is what I say.

Cheers

[charlie3322]

i was simoly stating he was bitchin a lilbit. no harm ment i meen i can see if it hurt ur feelings or somethin and i apologize but seriously isnt there a rule against stories anyways????

[Quick_Sylver]

i was simoly stating he was bitchin a lilbit. no harm ment i meen i can see if it hurt ur feelings or somethin and i apologize but seriously isnt there a rule against stories anyways????

Explicit stories.

Motormouth's right. There's too much peer pressure in this thread o.0

[charlie3322]

wat does that meen?

[Quick_Sylver]

wat does that meen?

It means that there is a line. Dustin, didn't cross the line. That's that. We may want to return to the topic as I would not like to be infracted.

[charlie3322]

ok well im sorry man for wat i said earlier.... ok well i think if u feel atraacted to him u might consider gnoing for him but if not so much just at least rhink about it. and if he doesnt back up and give u room to breath then he isnt respecting you and u should tell him that to. but in a manner that wont hurt him and make him lose interest in you.

[The Batman]

There's no peer pressure in this thread everyone is telling him to stop being afraid to be gay and to just be himself. Which is the truth he's already said he's bi iso why should be be afraid to be gay? Seems like he's trying to convince us he's gay by other shit he's been saying so pretty much he should stop worrying about it and be whoever he is.

[thrust of trust]

go for it. talk to him and apologize. give it a chance

[ChaoticHarmony]

ok man listen. theres nothing wrong with being gay. at all. i was bi and then i got a bf...now im starting to think im gay. like you, ive lost the sexual attraction to women, and im pretty sure the emotional is leaving to. oh, and you can still be bi and have a boyfriend...just cause u have a bf doesnt mean ur gay

you can still have kids ok? me and chris are going to adopt and have a surrogate so theres a kid that kinda looks like me. just because the other person in the family doesnt have a vagina doesnt mean its not a happy family.

you gotta do what is best for you, and running away from yourself isnt going to help. you need to sit down and take some time to yourself, think about everything, assess your feelings, your thoughts, and what u really think of yourself. it will help you figure things out ok?

dont freak out cause theres nothing to freak out about. and you should try and talk to him and fix things. maybe you two have a future

[TheKingDavis]

ok to aLL THE "JUST B/C U DATE A GUY DOESNT MEAN YOUR GAY" PEOPLE, HERES YOUR answer (oops capslock, sorry, to lazy to edit it) anyway, i know b/c i date a guy doesnt make me gay, its the fact that if i do i mite TURN gay.


and me and him were supposed to meet to talk thing through, but i got sick on friday... due to stupid green chili stew

[The Batman]

Dating a guy won't make you turn gay if you're gay you're gay, if you're bi you're bi. Seriously dating him just means that you found someone you like enough to date. If you leave him the date a girl it means you found someone else you like enough to date. Stop worrying about your sexuality and try to be happy or you will be happy.

[The Joker]

ok to aLL THE "JUST B/C U DATE A GUY DOESNT MEAN YOUR GAY" PEOPLE, HERES YOUR answer (oops capslock, sorry, to lazy to edit it) anyway, i know b/c i date a guy doesnt make me gay, its the fact that if i do i mite TURN gay.


and me and him were supposed to meet to talk thing through, but i got sick on friday... due to stupid green chili stew

What's the point in calling yourself bi if you think dating a guy will make you gay?

[TheKingDavis]

Im afraid of the feelings... im afraid i will turn gay by dating him, that i will completely lose interest in girls.

i dont want to lose my emotional attraction towards girls... its all that i have left

[Sugaree]

What's the point in calling yourself bi if you think dating a guy will make you gay?

No he's afraid of turning gay because of it. He's afraid that if that DOES happen, he won't have kids or be married, etc. etc.

Dustin, girls aren't the only thing you have left. Guys can be just as fine if you ask me, but I have never been in a relationship with one so I wouldn't really know. But I can say from experience that all my friends, guys and girls included, they are great companions, whether you are in a relationship with them or not.

[The Joker]

Well then why doesn't he be straight if he's afraid of being in a relationship with a man?

[BUENA]

Do what you really want. Don't think about what other people what.

[charlie3322]

What's the point in calling yourself bi if you think dating a guy will make you gay?

i agree

[mr.sexy_bomb]

ok whats wrong with being full gay? like really dude

[TheKingDavis]

Well then why doesn't he be straight if he's afraid of being in a relationship with a man?

I dont want to be straight, i have just never had feelings as powerful as this before

ok whats wrong with being full gay? like really dude

it would not be accepted by my community or my mom, and she is caring enough to kick me out of the house over something like this

[nick]

Dustin, dont run away from your feelings, be true to yourself and trust yourself,.

[charlie3322]

ok well ur turning down all advice man... i dont know wat to say

[Ryhanna]

Look, I seriously think we've helped you all we can. We can't solve the problem for you.

I think you just need to figure things out.

If you're bi, you're bi.
if you're gay - you're gay and you're going to have to get used to it, and so is your family and community - otherwise they just don't deserve you.

We can't really help you any furter. This is just stuff you need to learn about yourself. I'ts part of puberty - and life.

[charlie3322]

eeeeggggzzzzaaaaccctttllleeee

[TheKingDavis]

Roger dodger. Im going to do some serious self examination

[Lifeguard18]

Let me tell you something. This may not tell you anything but on an episode of Tyra banks (this is the only episode I saw) about gay people and she was interviewing a gay guy who has a girlfriend. Everyone knows he's gay but has a gf. And the gf said I don't have to worry about him looking at a woman but when a man comes down that's different. Everyone then laughed eVen I did. The bf said to tyrA after she asked what made you like her. He said we just clicked and there was this feeling between us. (not exact words). And it went on. So my point is that even though he was gay he's going out with a girl. He's gay but still felt that special bond with a girl

[The Batman]

If he's gay but is going after a girl he's not gay...

[ChaoticHarmony]

If he's gay but is going after a girl he's not gay...

you kinda have a point....n if he is gay then its just a really close friendship..

[Lifeguard18]

If he's gay but is going after a girl he's not gay...

heres the interview. dont let the title offend you or anyone please. you can watch part 1 through the end if you want. this is the guy who is gay but married.

Part 3 (start of interview i was mentioning): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ2DNJ_r18U&feature=related

heres part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CweXD1zgxaU&feature=related

again if you watch every part youll understand the I Hate Being Gay title. just dont let it offend you.

[charlie3322]

i luv tyra!!!! o and i totally saw this episode