Fallen out of love?

[All Round]

So at the start of the school year I got together with this guy, we'd been friends for a year or so before he asked me out. I'd been going through some stuff and was very depressed and sprung at the chance to feel loved again. We've been going out since then but lately I feel as though I know longer love him... the worlds "i love you" feel like a routine thats lost all meaning. We only ever kiss lightly, never anything past just a quick kiss on the lips and a hug. I feel a bit unsatisfied... We have lots in common but lately I find more interest in talking to my best friends at school then talking with him. I know he loves me, and I hate feeling this way. Lately i've been craving a relationship with another girl, staying true to my preferred nature, but in order to find someone to fit that desire I have to give up the person i'm with... I like to think i'm a nice person, and the very Idea of upsetting him by breaking up with him is the only thing keeping me from doing it... Please help, I don't know what to do, it seems unfair to keep saying I love you when I don't think I do... but I don't want to hurt him, I want to still be friends even if we breakup... I want to break up but I just keep thinking about how hurt he'd be...

[Baudelaire]

well even if he does love you, if you dont love him back then there really isnt much of a reason to keep it going, its not pretty but you just have to tell him your not really on par with his feelings

[Soccer Girl 13]

Well I've been threw this be4. I broke up with him, yeah it hurt him but if he ever finds out you have been saying you love him and you haven't been meaning it.. Its gonna hurt him a whole lot more.
You seem like a nice and caring person, that doesn't like hurting people, which is nice, don't get me wrong but honey, honestly everyone is going to have to get hurt and hurt someone in their lives.
Sorry Hun, i don't know what else to say, but i hope i helped. If you ever wanna talk about anything just PM me, I'm always here to help you ( :

[All Round]

Thanks Soccer Girl and Baude

[Soccer Girl 13]

No Problem ( : Any time. Remember just PM me if you ever need to talk ( :

[Art_dude]

"it seems unfair to keep saying I love you when I don't think I do..."

You did love him and always will. It sounds like you're just no longer romantically interested. There's nothing wrong with that. People fall out of love all the time. However if you are going to end it with him do it sooner than later - it would be unfair to lead him on any longer; you're right about that. But it would also be unfair to you to be in a relationship that isn't what you want for any longer than you have to. Break it to him lightly and you'll be fine. PM me if you ever need to talk :)

[All Round]

Thanks guys. I think i'm going to wait another week because we have our finals coming up and I really don't want him to be hurt right before the final... I'd hate to make him unable to concentrate or do poorly on the test.. plus next semester we only have one class together but my best buds are in the class too, so he can choose to ignore me if he wants...

[Soccer Girl 13]

That sounds like a good idea. Hope all goes well for you ( :
xxx

[Englishrose]

I think most people have been in this situation, its time your relationship came to a natural end. I think you need to talk to him, carrying on the pretence is only going to hurt more. Telling him you've fell out of love with him isn't the best option, he's going to feel betrayed by you. I'd personally advise you to sit down and talk about it with him. Tell him that your feeling the relationship just hasn't turned out to be the sort you thought it would, that while you will always be affectionate for him, you don't think it can go any further than just being good friends. Hopefully he'll understand, and you can still remain friends. Its the worst thing in the world when you date a friend, and your friendship is ruined when the relationship ends. I'd advise you as much as possible to try and keep your friendship intact, its the most important thing.

[All Round]

Thanks. I want to get it done with quick but I will wait till next week I guess. I hate it because everything he does now, that I would have loved a few months ago, is just pushing me further and further into not loving him... I feel bad, it's my own fault this happened. I was depressed when he asked me out, just having been heartbroken and blindly agreed, even though then I didn't know If i truly wanted to be with him. Then I feel in love with him.. but now I feel depressed again over being with him. I don't want to be with him. Even though he wanted to be with me, I won't do this to myself. I want to move on, but I really hope in the end, he's still a friend. I love my friends so much. I love him, but i'm not in love with him anymore... if that makes sense...

Sorry that was kind of a rant.

[Englishrose]

I totally know where your coming from. We've all been in the rebound relationship. Your relationship just isn't working, but I think it's really good of you to wait until after his exams, I think that shows that you do really care for him as a friend, and I hope being friends after works out for you. And I'm sure that if he loves you, he'll want to keep you in his life and you may just remain friends, it just depends on how the break up goes.

[All Round]

I think he knows somethings wrong.. He told me he wanted to talk to me later... I really don't want to break up tonight, I want him to finish his tests feeling good. But at the same time, if he already kind of knows somethings not right, and he knows i've been acting differently, would that strain and worry over whats happening more cruel than breaking up now? i have only like 2 hours before he wanted to talk... I don't know what to do. I want to be free of this burden, but i'm still worried about him...

[Evermore]

You just need something to bring the spark back. The novelty of the relationship is wearing off.

[All Round]

Well I think it's way more than just that. Theres not even two rocks left to try and make a spark. I don't love him, I know that. The loves gone and I find myself wanting more in a relationship than what he's willing to give me (because of his religion he has no interest in anything at all sexual) and we've been dating for 4 months and we've never made out, but the very idea of making out with him at this point feeling like if I were to do that to one of my friends, extremely wrong. Plus lately almost everything he does makes me angry or agitated. I really don't think it's as simple as needing a new spark.

[Evermore]

Based on that it sounds like you're more in rebellion. You don't like his religion so much it's turning off you're attraction to him and you want to do the thing that would be the most against his religion. Turn around and date a chick. Correct me if i'm mistaken but that's wjhat your last comment sounded like.

[All Round]

I do not care about his religion. I have many friends who are many different religions, i have friends who are so dedicated they can be found an hour before school reading the bible in the hallway and I love them to death. That's not the point, the point is because of his religion he's super conservative and I am not and I need more than just a quick hug and innocent little kiss. I'm not actually looking for 'reasons' why I might be feeling this way, I know why. All I want it advice about telling him. Not to mention I'm pan and the girl I'm a bit interested in is someone I was going to date before I started dating this guy. I still have feelings for her, i'm not 'rebelling'. I care about his feelings, I thought I made that very clear. i'm not a spiteful little child that's going to rebel against a guy who's so nice just to try and hurt him.

[All Round]

Incase anyone is interested, I have broken up with him. I did it last night in a very calm, quiet manner. There was no yelling or anger. Well he is very upset, which I did anticipate. We agreed to be friends after this, but right now I think I'm just going to give him some room . I want us to still be friends. He took it really well and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Thanks for all the support guys.

[Art_dude]

Incase anyone is interested, I have broken up with him. I did it last night in a very calm, quiet manner. There was no yelling or anger. Well he is very upset, which I did anticipate. We agreed to be friends after this, but right now I think I'm just going to give him some room . I want us to still be friends. He took it really well and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Thanks for all the support guys.

Good for you! It sounds like you broke it to him with maturity and class, and he responded in a similar way. Like you said, although you want to remain friends, right now it would probably be best to give him some space. Don't worry about it, things will heal over time. I wish you the best of luck! Tell us when you find a new guy :P

[All Round]

Aha I hope for a new girl actually but yeah I will. I like it, because we didn't break up because someone cheated or betrayed the other or because we had a big fight, so it was a civil and calm conversation. But as my friends have been pointing out, in there minds that means "there was no reason to break up." I disagree obviously. Yeah, I hurt him (he says he doesn't feel hurt so insert what ever emotion he feels here* I feel bad, but talking with one of my friends before doing it, he told me how my own depression was making him really depressed and upset. I find that kind of unfair, but I also don't want him depressed and hurting just cause I was depressed over our relationship. THis is for the better.

[Englishrose]

I'm glad it seems to be working out for the best. You seem to of handled the break up very maturely and I think if he of the same calibre as yourself, once the emotions begin to fade he will have the maturity to remain friends with you. I'm glad it's all worked out for you.