Help plz!!

[Snake217]

Im not sure if this goes here, but it feels like a mental illness, im not sure about the name or anything, because it just started like 2 months ago.

For multiple reasons not worth mentioning, Ive never been the kind of guy who has many friends at once, since i was little, ive allwasy had 1 or 2 at a time, no more.

This last september I started high school, in a new place, so no friends at the start, I met tthis guy, Christian, (thats his name, not his religion), since the first day, hesat in front of me, and we started talking a bit, obviously with things slowly, but 2 weeks later we seemed to be best friends.

He got a gf (ive never had one), but he didnt change at all towards me, we were still great friends, i helpe dhim a lot with school things, and so did he, and he allways finished the conversations with an "i love u", well not exactly, here in mex we say i love u in different ways, he used one you can tell ur friends withouth them thinking you want something more ¬¬.

After a while, he got sick, he has a heart cyst, and was told that he has only 10 years left to live, that affected him a lot, but that brought us a lot closer, and obviously it started to worry me so i started like to call him a lot, and he seemed to like it, he also sent me cell messages many times, for many reasons.

It all seemed to go well between us, but in these last days, when i call him, he has changed, it seems to bother him, i say how r u? he says good, but he doesnt ask how i am, like he used to, i say i lov u, he remains silent, and just today, when i called him, istead of saying whats up pal? he said, what now allan?

Now why do i think this is an illness, well, i cant get him out of my mind, im straight so i know im not in love with him or something like that, back in november, when he arrived late at school, i started to feel sick with each minute that passed, and imaging stupid things like if he died bcuz of the heart thing, idk, i feel betrayed, i feel used, but i still cant get him out of my mind, each minute of the day, i carry my cellphone even to the bathroom just to see if he calls me, and i cant stop hallucinating about him not caring about me anymore, i want this to stop, i cant do anything without thinking of him, i wanna cry, but idk y, i cant, its like i depend on him being with me all the time, and i repeat, im straight, i am a little curious, but not with him.

And it scares me that when i get a girlfriend, this would happen with her too, but with a real love feeling, all this stress of not being with her, would kill me.

Whats wrong with me? why cant i care about him as normal people care about their friends? is this a codependence syndrome or something like that?

[L]

your friend is probably just going through a phase, he's obviously been through alot. give it time, and reassure yourself that he's still your friend, and eventually he'll pull though, or if your up to it, ask him whats up, he may not tell you out right, but it may give you an idea of whats wrong.

[BeautifulDisaster]

You're used to being close with him, that doesn't mean you have some disorder, it's called being best friends & then having that taken away from you.
It's a normal reaction.

Tell him with how you feel(if you can't talk about it as easily, text him, or write a letter, or type an e-mail out & send it to him), be open & honest with him, or you two will get nowhere, and he won't know how you are feeling and what it is that you're thinking.

[galen]

He might have a lot to deal with right now GF, illness and all. That would explain his change of attitude. Give him some time to work things out, it'll get better I promise.

Yea, I would feel the same way if my best friend's attitude suddenly changed overnight. You're not sick don't worry. My guess is that you're a very sincere person.. you know? the sort that writes paragraphs on birthday cards instead of the "Happy birthday, hope you enjoyed your party" types. So it bugs you a lot more that you don't understand what is going through your best friend's mind.

[INFERNO]

Im not sure if this goes here, but it feels like a mental illness, im not sure about the name or anything, because it just started like 2 months ago.

For multiple reasons not worth mentioning, Ive never been the kind of guy who has many friends at once, since i was little, ive allwasy had 1 or 2 at a time, no more.

This last september I started high school, in a new place, so no friends at the start, I met tthis guy, Christian, (thats his name, not his religion), since the first day, hesat in front of me, and we started talking a bit, obviously with things slowly, but 2 weeks later we seemed to be best friends.

He got a gf (ive never had one), but he didnt change at all towards me, we were still great friends, i helpe dhim a lot with school things, and so did he, and he allways finished the conversations with an "i love u", well not exactly, here in mex we say i love u in different ways, he used one you can tell ur friends withouth them thinking you want something more ¬¬.

After a while, he got sick, he has a heart cyst, and was told that he has only 10 years left to live, that affected him a lot, but that brought us a lot closer, and obviously it started to worry me so i started like to call him a lot, and he seemed to like it, he also sent me cell messages many times, for many reasons.

It all seemed to go well between us, but in these last days, when i call him, he has changed, it seems to bother him, i say how r u? he says good, but he doesnt ask how i am, like he used to, i say i lov u, he remains silent, and just today, when i called him, istead of saying whats up pal? he said, what now allan?

Now why do i think this is an illness, well, i cant get him out of my mind, im straight so i know im not in love with him or something like that, back in november, when he arrived late at school, i started to feel sick with each minute that passed, and imaging stupid things like if he died bcuz of the heart thing, idk, i feel betrayed, i feel used, but i still cant get him out of my mind, each minute of the day, i carry my cellphone even to the bathroom just to see if he calls me, and i cant stop hallucinating about him not caring about me anymore, i want this to stop, i cant do anything without thinking of him, i wanna cry, but idk y, i cant, its like i depend on him being with me all the time, and i repeat, im straight, i am a little curious, but not with him.

And it scares me that when i get a girlfriend, this would happen with her too, but with a real love feeling, all this stress of not being with her, would kill me.

Whats wrong with me? why cant i care about him as normal people care about their friends? is this a codependence syndrome or something like that?

You were close to him not sexually though but as best friends. Something happened and now you feel as though he ditched you. It's normal to care about people who are close especially if they tell you they're going to die very soon. The relationship you two had made you feel wonderful and now you've had this pleasure torn away but like any person, you want it back and you hope it will return.

If you haven't talked to him about it, then do so because it seems to be eating away at you. However, he's been through a lot with his illness and girlfriend, so let him sort himself out first and you do the same, then be with him.

[Snake217]

Well, it looks like it IS his gf who is influencing him to behave like that with me, but hes still my friend, and did something awesome yesterday, we were chatting and then he typed something lieka chain letter, it said, send it to 15 of your contacts, and ask them which number do they give you, and tell them which one you give them:
1.-I love you (couple love)
2.-I want to be ur bf/gf
3.-I love you (friendly love)
4.-You are very special to me
5.-You are very cool
6.-You are my best friend

I said, I give you a 6, and you what number do you give me? he said, 6 and 4. I then said, hey so I can give you 2 numbers? then 4 and 6 too.

But anyway, the fact that he gave me the number 4, idk, it made me feel something awesome, that I think i had lost, but it made me realize he is still there, and that even when it can get him into trouble with his gf, he will remain my best friend, Im really happy now, also, we just started next school grade, and his gf might not enter this time, so possibly i will be alone with him, which I really hope, it will make everything awesome.



Yea, I would feel the same way if my best friend's attitude suddenly changed overnight. You're not sick don't worry. My guess is that you're a very sincere person.. you know? the sort that writes paragraphs on birthday cards instead of the "Happy birthday, hope you enjoyed your party" types. So it bugs you a lot more that you don't understand what is going through your best friend's mind.

What an exact way to define me, lol, ya im like that.

Thanks everyone for your messages, you can count with me anytime