Cutting --

[Soccer Girl 13]

Ok, Me and my best friend had a fight, I got upset and started cutting myself, I normally cutt when something goes wrong.
But my question is. Should i tell her or will she just think i was doing it for attention??

[Sapphire]

If you want to let her know that you were hurt emotionally by the argument then tell her just that. Get things sorted between the two of you on an emotional level first.

Once you are both on good terms again, you can confide in her about your self harm. She may find it hard to understand though and so, if you do tell her then you have to be prepared for that.
I honestly think that as long as you are able to have a calm discussion with her about difficult, personal topics then you should be fine.

I will ask this one question though because if the answer is no, I would advise strongly against telling her.
Are you willing to try to stop your self harm?

[Amyxoxo]

I dont think you should tell her right now. Let your and hers feelings and anger clear up and then if you still feel like you want to tell her then do so. :) xx

[BeautifulDisaster]

Let things settle first, & then express to your friend that you got stressed out, & felt like cutting was a way to cope with it at that time.

Reassure your friend it wasn't their fault, & it was just how you cope with things when you feel overwhelmed and when things feel too much to cope with for you, & that you are not telling her for attention, but more for support... I assume? Or just to be honest? ...

[Soccer Girl 13]

Sapphire - Yeah i am willing to try stopping for her. She knows i self harm, and she used to do it aswell, BUT i told her i stopped a year ago. Yeah i will try telling her it emotionally hurt me first ( :
She's pretty good at understanding me, but yeah when things cool off i'll tell her.
Thanks Sapphire ( :

Amy - Yeah, thats a pretty good idea. Thanks ( :

Aimee - Yeah im going to let it cool down, She knows i've cut in the past for just being stressed and all that.
She knows it wouldnt be her fault but in a way it is.. but im not going to tell her that. Nah im not the kinda grl who just does stuff for attention. Yeah for support, and becoz i want to be honest with her ( : .
Thanks Aimee ( :

[BeautifulDisaster]

Ah, I suppose in a way it is her fault a bit for causing some of the stress, but remember, it takes two to tango (two to fight, in other words.)

So, the blame isn't all on her, & I think if you had a better way of coping with stress & overwhelming feels, you'd be in a much better position to deal with arguments as everyone has arguments - and cutting doesn't make anything better.

[Soccer Girl 13]

Yeah Aimee i totally get what your saying and its both our faults, although im not blaming it on her at all.
Yeah i know, I've tried using a rubber bands, punching walls and if i get pissed off when im playing soccer or futsal i'd punch the posts.. But now im back to cutting, i still punch posts when playing soccer and futsal but thats rare now. I know cutting doesnt make anything feel better but i can't stop cutting, whenever i think about it i cut and beat myself up.

[Sapphire]

I'm sorry but this needs to be said.
There is no way that you cutting is even slightly her fault.
Life brings with it all sorts of things that cause us stress but how we deal with that stress is down to us and only us.

There are all sorts of tactics you can use to distract yourself from the urges and vent your emotions safely. Some will work for you and some won't. You just have to keep going until you find the ones that work for you
Look here (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/announcement.php?f=16&a=52) for a list of over 100 techniques that can help you resist the urge.

[Nostrum]

i think you should tell her, regardless if she thinks its for attention. if shes a good friend, she should understand, and not think you're going it for attention. but you should wait a little first so you've both calmed down a bit and be ready for saying sorry.
:)

[Soccer Girl 13]

Sapphire - I know i totally blame myself for it. Yep.. its only up to me.
I know before cutting i used to go out the back and flog a soccer ball at the brick wall.. it worked really good, But ever since i moved i havent been able to do that, so i cut again. I'll look at other things to do, just for you ok. Thanks.


Nostrum - Yeah i see her in a fortnight, i've stopped texting her and trying to talk to her on msn, myspace and facebook..
Yeah i think she would understand, she's been threw this herself be4. Yeah letting our selves calm down.. but do you think a fortnight will be enough time??
Thanks ( :

[Sapphire]

Don't do it for me. Doing it for yourself is the best way to stop self harm.
You are less likely to go back to it in the future if you make the decision to stop because you want to live a better and happier for yourself.