Me and my friend...

[Amyxoxo]

Does anyone else feel that they cant open up to anyone, even their best friend about your self harm?
Well i didnt/cant and she is really upset about it. I have tried to tell her that I dont want her to judge me and get upset about it but she just dosnt understand what im going through.
I need her to know that i do trust her but she dosnt understand and its so annoying ....:(
So ... do you lot talk and tell your friends about you self harming?
Do they support you not run away from you like mine ... ??? :/

[Sapphire]

When I was at school, one of my friends actually introduced me to it and another one told the whole year group about my self harm. Otherwise, the rest sort of accepted it. I never found out which one had betrayed me though.
But, no, I never felt able to talk to any of them about it properly.

Then I moved on and went to 6th form. I talked to my boyfriend at the time about it but he didn't understand at all. He knew I was trying to stop but still felt that me slipping up was enough to dump me over. I confided in four other people about it while still there (a friend and three partners from short-lived relationships). The friend seemed to think I was attention seeking as she never took me seriously. One of my partners pretended to care but simply exploited my vulnerability, the other two could relate to varying degrees and were understanding.

The only person that has been understanding about it without being too unstable themselves is my current boyfriend. I can talk with him about anything. It has taken a lot of time, patience and hurt to find this but it has been so worth it.

Wow, that was longer than I anticipated! Lol

[Grim981]

Well to start with, to me there is a big diference between a friend and a mate(english?).
I have alot of mates (most of which, i dislike anyway :/). tbh I have very few people who i can call a friend. Maybe one or two :/.
Anyway i could never be so forward with anyone i know. I think they would just run :( but i would hope otherwise. Iv only been SH for about a year now. NO-ONE knows :) (I try very hard not to touch my wrists, so its not too obvious)

[laurita_21]

Well... this year i told some of my friends, they were really shocked (as i expected)
but i still don't know wether i did the right thing, mostly because i had different friends throughout the years of my secondary school. A few days after i told them they were asking me alot of questions n stuff.. after that they havn't really paid much attention to it, so i dont actually think they care anymore :(

As for you... well i think she should have been there for you, i guess it is quite hard for you friend because it is kinda unexpected news... still she shouldnt have left you. Just try and wait for her to come around, maybe she just needs a bit of time for it to sink in.
xxx

[Englishrose]

While I have never self-harmed myself, one of my best friends has in the past though she has now thankfully stopped. I had my suspicions that she self-harmed long before she admitted the truth to me, but I never brought it up, I was always just there for her, someone for her to unload onto. When she finally did admit that she self-harmed, I didn't judge her, I was there for her, someone to listen to her problems. However, me and my friend are like sisters, practically family. We've been close friends since we were in nappies and I know I can trust her with anything and she will always be there through the good in the bad, and me for her.

I personally think its a good idea to have someone you can trust, talking can do wonders, a problem shared is a problem halved. However, you have to be able to trust your friend. I don't know what the relationship between you and your friend is like, but if she is asking questions, she may be worried about you and she wants you to confide in her. However, I think in a situation like that, only you can make that decision, though I would strongly advise you to have someone to talk to as it is the best help you can get.

[munchausen]

I don't talk to my friends about self harming, they'd never understand. I actually chose them for that reason they don't share their problems with me so I don't need to deal with theirs on top of my own and vice-versa... I'm a bit more screwed up than I want to admit to them.

[Amyxoxo]

Thank you all guys :)
Well, I have been friends with this person for about 3/4 years now. We do basically everything together, we are the same really appart she is ALOT more sensable than me. The thing is she does know i do it ... she has known for about 6 months now. She has tried to help me before (well apparently??) and i have just pushed her away. From what i remember all she does is give me disapointed smile and that is it.
I just really wish that she would support me as we have just had a big bust up and i dont know if everything will get back to how it normallly is. :/
xx

[munchausen]

If you're afraid that things won't go back to normal try and make up for it, talk to your friends if necessary you may have to make something up. Not cutting for a while makes my temper very short and I'll loose it with friends from time to time so I've gotten very good at smoothing things over with them.

[Amyxoxo]

If you're afraid that things won't go back to normal try and make up for it, talk to your friends if necessary you may have to make something up. Not cutting for a while makes my temper very short and I'll loose it with friends from time to time so I've gotten very good at smoothing things over with them.

I have tried to smooth it over with her, I have told her how hard it is for me and I dont know what to anymore, thanks anyway :) xx

[Grim981]

Amy, i dont think your friend is at all comfortable with your cutting, even talking about it. I think you should stop trying to share it with her, or things could just get worse. Just tell her its not her problem and youll stop trying to make it hers. start from scratch with her. I know its difficult because all you want is to talk about your problems, and actually have someone care, but you will probably just end up pushing people away..:(

[Soccer Girl 13]

I self harm too, I dnt tell my friends until a few days after tho, becoz i know how they would react, one even said if i did it she would (that kinda scared me outta it for a while). I talk to my counsellor about it as soon as i can, it really helps, My counsellor helps me out on what to say to my friends and everything.

Not all friends understand, but that might be becoz you dnt let them in and tell them whats going on.. if you tell her whats going on in your life that makes you self harm, im sure she'll understand and try to help you threw it, I know i would ( :

Good luck with it ( :

[Amyxoxo]

Amy, i dont think your friend is at all comfortable with your cutting, even talking about it. I think you should stop trying to share it with her, or things could just get worse. Just tell her its not her problem and youll stop trying to make it hers. start from scratch with her. I know its difficult because all you want is to talk about your problems, and actually have someone care, but you will probably just end up pushing people away..:(

That is the thing, I didnt tell her and she got upset so I told her and she got even more upset. I didnt want her to know as i knew it would upset her but she insisted. But you know, I dont know if i care anymore, it obviously wasnt as good of a freindship as i though. :what::(

[Sapphire]

She got upset because she cares. Self harm is difficult for people to understand. Just because someone can't understand doesn't mean that they don't care.

[Asylum]

i told my close friends, most already saw, and asked. i only tell my friends who i trust, and won't hurt me. like boyfriend, and like 8 other people know. It's dangerous to tel, because they might tell on you, or try to force things on you, and check yor arms. But my friends odn't do that. out of the eight, 4 hav cut or sitll cut. And I only open up to them after liek i knew them for a few years, and they tell me something really personal. things people dont uderstand are weird to htem , poeple are scared of and walk away, know amy that you always have friends here, like me to help you. you can talk to me whenever girlie.