Help me out?

[Terra]

So this might be a long post, but please, bear with me and read what I have to say i'd like a somewhat clear answer.

So my whole life I have identified myself as straight, I dreamed of growing up marrying the girl of my dreams and having a family. Everything kind-of changed when puberty started.

As everything started to grow down there and I became more confident in myself I started watching porn. From about the age of 12-13 I only watched straight porn, I never even thought of watching gay porn. At around 13 I watched a few videos of gay porn and I kind-of liked it, but I was still watching straight porn. Now, it's kind-of the same way, but I watch gay porn more.

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As for attraction, I can respect both good looking men and woman. I notice both sexes physically. I've never had a boyfriend, nor do I think I could ever do that, I like girls in that sense I have both an emotional and physical attraction to them. However, I have a larger physical attraction to men.

The emotional attraction for both sexes is kind-of confusing, i'm comfortable with girls I can talk to them be with them, etc. With guys it's the same way, but I could never hold hands with one or something it would be very odd for me.

So overall:
Physical Attraction(s):
Men (60%) Woman (40%)
Emotional Attraction(s):
Woman (80%) Men (20%)

I can talk to guys about things the same way I do with woman, but nothing more.

I've imagined and would like to experiment with my best friend who's a guy, and it almost happened, but I chickened out. I'm 15 right now, and absolutely confused my mind literally destroys itself over the issue at times, and please, don't tell me "not to worry about it" because how can I not? It's such a prevalent issue in present day society, the thought haunts me everyday.

I'm sorry if this post is confusing, and if you need anymore information, or need me to clarify something tell me.

I'm really confused.

[WYLD]

For starters, your post isn't confusing.

As for your delima:
I'd say let it fly. You can't really make a set-in-stone decision at the age of fifteen. Your emotions change in your body overtime as do your physical appearances.

As for the emotional as opposed to physical attraction:
I find it that males aren't as deep as females. Most guys I know have a boring run-of-the-mill personality standard. As for the girls, they are very nice and I can hold a conversation with them.

Physically, that's not much of a problem. It's probably your brain THINKING that you dislike it when you actually don't. It's that whole "if you think you're sick, you'll get sick" scenario.

That my friend is a confusing response to a perfect thread.

[cole g]

i wouldent stress about it your groing up your horemones are going nuts

[thepieman]

Firstly, as mentioned above, the post is really clear - it makes a change to read such a clear post.

Secondly, and I know it's not what you want to hear, but really DON'T WORRY! At 15, your hormones are going mad, and you might not be able to tell what you are for a while. But if you do wan't to be a step closer to a definitive answer...

I'm bi, and I found that the emotional attraction doesn't come as easy with guys as it does girls. However, if you're meant to be bi, this will develop and - while this is now 80% - 20% - it would become equal. So, if in 6-12 months time you feel the same sexual attraction, but more emotional attraction, you could be bi. I think you can be pretty sure you're not gay.

Or it could be hormones, as you're emotional attraction isn't developed as much with men. Either way, it's worth waiting to find out. You'll know when the time comes, so stop worrying.

If you need any help or advice PM me - I felt this way at your age. :)