i don't make sense.

[eikookmi]

I've been depressed for maybe about 2 years now.
There was a point where i was suicidal but somehow i overcame that by myself. I'm not anymore or anything. But right now im just at the point where i feel completely empty. At times its scary to think about what if i just somehow went back to the point where i really at my all time low? It feels like that isn't possible to go back to that. But either way, i feel so empty. But the thing is, i don't know why. I don't know why i'm depressed. I never had reasons to give. My life is actually fine. Better than most of the population. I don't know. I feel stupid because i feel like im stuck like this. I can't seem to get completely out of it. It always pulls me back in.

I don't make any sense.

[Mr. Smithers]

That's the problem right there. You are expecting for it to come back. Don't. Do something which you enjoy doing. It's ok to be depressed but it's not ok to prepare yourself and almost force it to happen. Just be calm and just don't even let depression come into your mind. Stay positive that's a start. Don't be afraid to talk about it.

[eikookmi]

I'm not expecting it to come back. it's already there. I'm completely lifeless right now. And there isn't anything to talk about except with what i just said

[Mr. Smithers]

What do you enjoy doing the most. Hanging out with friends, listening to music? I used to be always depressed. I would cry everyday. Then I just thought that crying and being sad do nothing. Is crying going to bring back or change what I am sad about, no it isn't so I decided to stop crying and do things that make me happy.

[eikookmi]

I already stated i don't know why i'm depressed.
I don't even know what makes me happy anymore
What is "happy" anyways..

[Mr. Smithers]

I'm sorry that you feel that way. I always know what is making me sad and I hope you find a way out of it, by talking about it, or finding something you enjoy doing to erase it.

[Aspiringanonymous]

What is "happy" anyways.. That is a great question; I struggle with it daily myself. "Happiness" - and the high regard to which it has always been held by human beings - seems, in a way, nothing but absurd. Experiences of comfort are way overrated; and what is deemed as suffering and difficulty is often way underrated. Hardship is the single most effective way to build character, virtue, and insight. But it would be equally senseless to form a conclusion here, for all questions lead not to answers but further questions and considerations, such as "it is part of the experience of misery to despise that very thing" - anyway, you see what I mean? Nothing which exists truly makes sense, should one question deeply and thoroughly enough.

I choose to embrace the confusion and emptiness; even 'life-less' is a form of life, and certainly one which could be appreciated, for its uniqueness if anything. Remember, there is something to be gained from every experience.

For now, you are here (by that I mean current state of being); the hows and whys are completely beyond you and thus pointless to pursue, all you know is that you are here now, whether that is a convenient fact or not. How do you make the most out of the moment, then? That is a matter for each individual to sort out for themselves.

And as time rolls on, changes will take place, for nothing is constant except change itself.