shockdude
January 5th, 2010, 07:31 PM
Let's get it started, my life how fricking grrreeeeeaaaattt I wish it really was, but sadly, everything in my life is tragic. So let's start this stress reliver, I do find it better to tell people about your problem, even if they don't respond to it nicely (Gives me a laugh, makes me feel better)
The beginning will not be as descriptive, since I don't remember much of my younger years.
Let's just say my life began as a problem before I was even born, how could this be. Well my older brother had to be born, he is now 21. Now your probably thinking, oh older brothers always get there younger brothers mad. You will find out more about is psychotic ass later.
Let's start with elementary, by the time third or fourth grade started, I had these wonderful glasses...and two big gapped buck teeth to go with it. Sure without the glasses and my mouth closed I was actually a cute kid. My looks lowered my self-esteem. I was not a nerd, I was not smart. My recess consisted me and my only friend sitting in a corner playing our gameboys (Okay, kinda nerdy) we played Pokemon. I was made fun of, picked on and that just made me shyer and even more nervous.
I was never at home much, so I did not know my older brother much, my younger brother and I always hung out outside with some of the neighborhood kids.
Let's move onto Sixth Grade in Junior High. Sixth grade was not so bad, still had the glasses and buck teeth, why I did not get braces and contacts then I did not know. I met a great friend, one of my best friends today.
Let's move onto home, this was when I got to really know who my brother was. I learned more about my brother after him running out of Pot, Not getting any money and all the ecstacy and painkillers he has taken. He was a bad seed from the day he was born. If he did not get anything he wanted, he took it out on me. I did not say anything to this kid. He would go off hitting me (Punching), threating me(Coming after me with knives), and breaking everything I had. *Things get far worse than this* This would be a reoccurance everyday. (Why is he not kicked out, we can thank my dad for this love-hate relationship)
All this abuse I had I guess led my life into a life of drugs. In the seventh grade I started to smoke weed, still do and am now a graduate from highschool.
As, I got older, my brother progressed worse. He has hit my mom and dad, his negative remarks about us and the family get ridiculous, he shows no respect to anyone. This is when I learned he was put into a mental ward in the third grade. One day, while in the ninth grade, he was coming off a bad time on Rolls (Ecstacy). Well, it did not turn out so well, he got agitated and turned what seemed into a roid-rage. He started freaking out on everyone, of course mainly me. Well, again his favorite weapon of choice the Bi-Polar Psychotic Faggot Bitch that he is was the knife. Now, this was when I had ran up to the bedroom and put my bed in front of the door (I've had to do this lots) He got in because I got tired of putting my back up against the bed and my feet against the wall. (My parents were not home at the time at all, I was freaking out) I had a collection of schimitars and katanas in my room. I took one of the katanas and as he came in *Violent Here, you don't have to read* I stapped him in the middle of the torso, it did not go in a whole lot, but it was a bloody site.** I was underage, I did not get taken to jail, it was self-defence.** I did call the ambulance though and they got him to the hospital.
Anyways, the fighting always continued, because of course he is bi-polar.
My life got into more of a tragedy, I too started Popping Adderal like crazy, I've taken my fair share of ecstacy (Please do not do this drug, please all of you), Acid, Diphenhydramine (Dumbest thing ever). And of course drinking and smoking more than ever. Also, never take Acid if you want a different weed high forever. Mine sucks ass now and gives me acid flashback and worse panic attacks than before.
My brain has been posioned by the diphenhydramine, my mind gets my body sickened by just reading or typing that word. That is what drugs can do to you.
Anyways, today my body condition at 18 is fairly bad. I have panic attacks everyday. My left arm aches and is weaker than my right arm. I get chest pains. Feels like I am going to have a heart attack everyday.
It feels like I have turned into a schizo, but I am not hearing voices. I hate my life.
What are your thoughts?
The beginning will not be as descriptive, since I don't remember much of my younger years.
Let's just say my life began as a problem before I was even born, how could this be. Well my older brother had to be born, he is now 21. Now your probably thinking, oh older brothers always get there younger brothers mad. You will find out more about is psychotic ass later.
Let's start with elementary, by the time third or fourth grade started, I had these wonderful glasses...and two big gapped buck teeth to go with it. Sure without the glasses and my mouth closed I was actually a cute kid. My looks lowered my self-esteem. I was not a nerd, I was not smart. My recess consisted me and my only friend sitting in a corner playing our gameboys (Okay, kinda nerdy) we played Pokemon. I was made fun of, picked on and that just made me shyer and even more nervous.
I was never at home much, so I did not know my older brother much, my younger brother and I always hung out outside with some of the neighborhood kids.
Let's move onto Sixth Grade in Junior High. Sixth grade was not so bad, still had the glasses and buck teeth, why I did not get braces and contacts then I did not know. I met a great friend, one of my best friends today.
Let's move onto home, this was when I got to really know who my brother was. I learned more about my brother after him running out of Pot, Not getting any money and all the ecstacy and painkillers he has taken. He was a bad seed from the day he was born. If he did not get anything he wanted, he took it out on me. I did not say anything to this kid. He would go off hitting me (Punching), threating me(Coming after me with knives), and breaking everything I had. *Things get far worse than this* This would be a reoccurance everyday. (Why is he not kicked out, we can thank my dad for this love-hate relationship)
All this abuse I had I guess led my life into a life of drugs. In the seventh grade I started to smoke weed, still do and am now a graduate from highschool.
As, I got older, my brother progressed worse. He has hit my mom and dad, his negative remarks about us and the family get ridiculous, he shows no respect to anyone. This is when I learned he was put into a mental ward in the third grade. One day, while in the ninth grade, he was coming off a bad time on Rolls (Ecstacy). Well, it did not turn out so well, he got agitated and turned what seemed into a roid-rage. He started freaking out on everyone, of course mainly me. Well, again his favorite weapon of choice the Bi-Polar Psychotic Faggot Bitch that he is was the knife. Now, this was when I had ran up to the bedroom and put my bed in front of the door (I've had to do this lots) He got in because I got tired of putting my back up against the bed and my feet against the wall. (My parents were not home at the time at all, I was freaking out) I had a collection of schimitars and katanas in my room. I took one of the katanas and as he came in *Violent Here, you don't have to read* I stapped him in the middle of the torso, it did not go in a whole lot, but it was a bloody site.** I was underage, I did not get taken to jail, it was self-defence.** I did call the ambulance though and they got him to the hospital.
Anyways, the fighting always continued, because of course he is bi-polar.
My life got into more of a tragedy, I too started Popping Adderal like crazy, I've taken my fair share of ecstacy (Please do not do this drug, please all of you), Acid, Diphenhydramine (Dumbest thing ever). And of course drinking and smoking more than ever. Also, never take Acid if you want a different weed high forever. Mine sucks ass now and gives me acid flashback and worse panic attacks than before.
My brain has been posioned by the diphenhydramine, my mind gets my body sickened by just reading or typing that word. That is what drugs can do to you.
Anyways, today my body condition at 18 is fairly bad. I have panic attacks everyday. My left arm aches and is weaker than my right arm. I get chest pains. Feels like I am going to have a heart attack everyday.
It feels like I have turned into a schizo, but I am not hearing voices. I hate my life.
What are your thoughts?