I can't seem to accept it, my dear Luke

[Obscene Eyedeas]

My other half. he was my world. though we werent toghether we were as close as that. I knew him better than his girlfriend, the mother of his child. We met in the strangest circumstances and he was everything i needed at the time. :) I love. . . . no loved him so much.

He was what held me up. What kept me sane nd somewhat happy
He was someone who even if we werent talking for ages he would somehow know if something was wrong with me and just texted me outta the blue knowing it even though noone could have known. When i found out i couldn't breathe at times i still can't.

At times i got him through horrible depression, stopped him from suicide. And he did the same for me! We were each others halves for years.

And after all we've been through, after all we fought through, after all the shit. . . . . . . Hes gne! HES DEAD!!!!!!!! I cnt takke it in accept it! I miss Luke so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He died from cancer after all that he fought against the thing that took him he couldn't control!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know what to do. . . . . . I NEED MY Luke!!!!!!

I was one of the first to find out but because of where he lived and my arseholish parents i didn't get to see him in time.

We thought he had 6 months but he didn't even get 6 weeks :(

I couldn't go to the funeral or the dinner they had in his honour couldn't take it.

I keep thinking with each passing day it will get easier but its getting worse.

What can i do to ease the pain? Please give me some advice im trying to get over this so bad. Trying to help his girlfriend, his kid and myself through this.

[woody92]

I am sooo sorry to hear that and if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to, I would be happy to help. All I can say is stay STRONG. I know its hard, but you have to. If you have a real close friend that you can talk to, that would always help. I am here if you need! So sorry for you loss, I wish you all the luck in the world with getting through this. you can PM me anytime!

[Mr. Smithers]

Try finding a hobby you like or haven't tried yet. Read or start playing an instrument. Try and find something positive and healthy. Maybe even jog around your neighborhood I do that sometimes to calm down, not to mention its great exercise.

[Obscene Eyedeas]

Every passtime u mentioned i do. I do so many passtimes i barely have time to eat but i still think about it 24/7.

I train long and hard at running and rugby, first aid and my study so i can become a doctor but i cnt get it out of my head.

Can''t accept im never ever going to hold him while he cries, hug him, feel the touch of his hand on my cheek as he wiped away the tears, whispered to me how much i meant to him and everyone. Never going to see his smiling face again which always made me feel good no matter hw bad i felt

[Mr. Smithers]

Well maybe you can talk to a school counselor or something. You are going to have to accept that this person isn't coming back I'm sorry.

[BuryYourFlame]

Coming from first hand experience, there really isn't anything that will take away the pain, no amount of reading, music or anything will stop you thinking about them...especially in the first while; almost everything is a reminder...

I know that sounds really depressing but there is good news. It does get easier, you start thinking about things...differently. Of course, it doesn't feel like things will ever get 'better', but it is possible and not out of reach. Things like this also make us stronger, help us prepare for other tough things that are all part of life.

A lot of people would say that time is a great healer...I'm not sure if I agree. You see, I think of time more as a surgeon giving stitches. The amount of time that it takes depends entirely on who we are, and even after the 'healing' process is done...there is still a scar there...we never really forget...it's always a part of us and there's always things that remind us of them.

Good luck, PM me if you want to talk some more =]

[Asylum]

you need to get yourself out of the house. Get yourself busy. Stay with friends for awhile. Leave town. Go on vacation. You need to distract yourself from this, and slowly, heal yourself. i am so sorry for your loss. Get yourself involved in activities, if you have nothign to do, and are alone, taht is all you will think aobut. If you are involved i things and people, you'll still think about it, but it won't be the only tihng you will tink about it, and it won't be as bad, because you won't be alone while thinking about it. I'd suggest getting out of town. Go to a far away friends house for awhile Talk to a counsler. Things may seem really hard now, and well they will be at first, but they do get better. You will never forget, and always feel sorrow when you remeber, however you will learn through the weeks, months, and years, how to get through it. You are not alone remeber that. Right now best thing to do, is just get out. Perhaps go get your hair and nails done, have a girls night out. Go have some fun, don't stay hme crying... I'm sure he wouldn't want that... He would want you to be happy. He is always with you.. and will always be a part of you. He lives through your memories. I'm so soryr this happened to you. Do stuff that makes you happy. Can't do it, because it remind you of him? Try something new. Do new things. Keep well safe. PM me if you ever need to talk.

[Englishrose]

I feel so sorry for you and anyone else who knew Luke. It's one of the hardest things in the world to love someone you loved, and we've all been there, you can always find someone who knows the pain your going through.

My best advice to you, is to not think of the bad stuff, not to think of him when he was ill, but to think of the good times you shared together. All the little things you did together will mean so much now.

Also, they say funerals give closure, and I think this is true. Funerals are the time when you can say goodbye, and I think to begin grieving you need to say goodbye. Just go to his graveside, sit and talk, let it all out, all the feelings you have. Before you can move on, and carry on the life that he would want you to have, you need to say goodbye to such a special person in your life. However, goodbye does not mean forget, don't try and forget, try and remember, but the good, only the good, because the good is all that matters.

[Affliction]

im sorry for wat happened thats tragic :(

time heals the wounds that leaves scars...

[iamniokekun]

oh my gosh.....

My best advice I guess is to think as him as gone in body but maybe he's become a part of you. He'd want you to move on....the pain will never go away.....I wish it did tho. I know how it iz. But you will cope.

geez now I'm tearing.......:,(

[maddii-may]

sorry to hear about luke. i lose my closest mate when i was 9 and we did everything together. im 14 now and i foun that if i open up to someone i dont no who will understand it helps but i keep my self busy and keep a diary for when i a feeling down and it helps x