Snake217
January 4th, 2010, 06:41 AM
Hi im new to the forum, my name is Allan, right now im posting my story, all that has happened to me, but also how I got over it, and hope that works as a little advices to people who has suffered some of the things I have (I checked many posts, and there is people like that)
Things I suffered:
1.-Raped by my 16 year old bro when I was 6, (multiple times), told me it was a game and/or jokes.
2.-Discovered my parents using drugs, and being alcoholics, begging them for 2 years to stop, then they did it, but it didnt stop there, as they did that for like twice a week, and even in that mental state where they were supposed to feel better, they had the worst fights ever, not violent, but still.., and this caused me a hate for alcohol and drugs( convenient in acertain way) but for example, I cant go to parties, or I start to feel sick when someone brings a bottle of anything with alcohol to my house, which has caused me troubles with my parents.
3.-MYSELF discovered that my dad cheated on my mom with lots of women, for many years, that my grandma supported this, and that I have a 24 year old half brother, which I just met.
4.-Being bullied at school, first, for being good at it, getting high notes, and secondly, for being overweight, I became bullimic and lost like 50 pounds..
5.-Ive allways even with all that, tried to help people, help friends, etc, but then it came to a point where people started to use me, some guy even told me at high school last day "I allways used you and talked to you for convenience); Then last month I had another friend, who was supposed to be my best friend, he hasnt confessed it, but im sure hes using me, and just today I decided to stop being that way...
6.-Im Mexican, which has caused racism when I talk to USA people (videogames, chats, etc) which caused me to hate my race.
7.-Im not poor, but we are living at a money limit allways, I cant complain for basic things like food, that is allways there, but having to save money for a PS3, when my friends have all consoles, having to look at other's houses, when my apartment has yellow walls for smoking, has drowned my self-steem. (I know this point is like the less important of all)
Well, reading that, Im sure you are all thinking that my life sucks, that I need help, that I should talk to someone, and that I must be thinking of suicide (which i have, just this week), but right now, nope, I´m happy as hell, why? Ill tell you why, and hope that some of you take that as a little advice, because just like most of you, I didnt (still) dont have the guts to talk to someone, noone in real life knows about some of the things i mentioned..
1.-For the rape, well, obviously I cant forgive my brother, but that doesnt concern me, i´m a virgin still, but im sure it wont cause me problems when I have sex, how doesnt the rape bother me? simply, meditation, thinking, analysys of the situatuion, and now I know it wasnt my fault, i was 6, I know I shouldnt care, my brother is the one who will pay it sometime, life paysback, for the people who have got raped, by people they know or dont know, I know its hard, but dont feel dirty, or guilty, really! repeat it alot! IM NOT GUILTY, IM NOT DIRTY, IM NOT SLUTY, etc, that´ll help! believe me.
2.-About my parents, yea I still have problems admitting alcohol and stuff around me, but the best way to relieve me, has been to shove it on their faces everytime i can, like bringing it up when they are happy, and etc, they obviously ge tmad, but I see their faces, they also feel bad, I know this is mean, but the point here is myself, and how i feel better.
3.-The same for my dad cheating and stuff (he still lives in my house and is still married with my mum, but thats another story) , I rarely talk to him, and when I do, i allways say things like, "hey remember when you were with that slut..." etc..
4.-Bullied, well i cant help a lot here, because I was only verbal bullied, noone ever touched me in any way, but I think tha ta good way to avoid all kinds of bullying, would be to stand up and make it stop, the way i made it stop, although it might sound illegal, but it stoped thos bastards, was to pretend to be someone else in the msn and stuff, and I managed to get some things that were enough to make them stop..... PM me for more info.
5.-For the bullimic thing, I started to feel sick, so I stopped it, and went on a safe diet, and exercise, right now im starting to make some muscles, which makes me feel awesome.
6.-About being used, well its been hard, but I now realize which people are real friends and which arent, and i dont let myslef be used anymore, and yes, I dont help people close to me anymore, (but i miss it, so I came to this forum mainly to help)
7.-About the race thing, well -_-, i still hate it, but meh, that doesnt ever worry me anymore
Ok, thats all, If any of you want help, please PM me, im a good listener, and I can give great advices! ive suffered terrible things but im happy as hell now!!
Things I suffered:
1.-Raped by my 16 year old bro when I was 6, (multiple times), told me it was a game and/or jokes.
2.-Discovered my parents using drugs, and being alcoholics, begging them for 2 years to stop, then they did it, but it didnt stop there, as they did that for like twice a week, and even in that mental state where they were supposed to feel better, they had the worst fights ever, not violent, but still.., and this caused me a hate for alcohol and drugs( convenient in acertain way) but for example, I cant go to parties, or I start to feel sick when someone brings a bottle of anything with alcohol to my house, which has caused me troubles with my parents.
3.-MYSELF discovered that my dad cheated on my mom with lots of women, for many years, that my grandma supported this, and that I have a 24 year old half brother, which I just met.
4.-Being bullied at school, first, for being good at it, getting high notes, and secondly, for being overweight, I became bullimic and lost like 50 pounds..
5.-Ive allways even with all that, tried to help people, help friends, etc, but then it came to a point where people started to use me, some guy even told me at high school last day "I allways used you and talked to you for convenience); Then last month I had another friend, who was supposed to be my best friend, he hasnt confessed it, but im sure hes using me, and just today I decided to stop being that way...
6.-Im Mexican, which has caused racism when I talk to USA people (videogames, chats, etc) which caused me to hate my race.
7.-Im not poor, but we are living at a money limit allways, I cant complain for basic things like food, that is allways there, but having to save money for a PS3, when my friends have all consoles, having to look at other's houses, when my apartment has yellow walls for smoking, has drowned my self-steem. (I know this point is like the less important of all)
Well, reading that, Im sure you are all thinking that my life sucks, that I need help, that I should talk to someone, and that I must be thinking of suicide (which i have, just this week), but right now, nope, I´m happy as hell, why? Ill tell you why, and hope that some of you take that as a little advice, because just like most of you, I didnt (still) dont have the guts to talk to someone, noone in real life knows about some of the things i mentioned..
1.-For the rape, well, obviously I cant forgive my brother, but that doesnt concern me, i´m a virgin still, but im sure it wont cause me problems when I have sex, how doesnt the rape bother me? simply, meditation, thinking, analysys of the situatuion, and now I know it wasnt my fault, i was 6, I know I shouldnt care, my brother is the one who will pay it sometime, life paysback, for the people who have got raped, by people they know or dont know, I know its hard, but dont feel dirty, or guilty, really! repeat it alot! IM NOT GUILTY, IM NOT DIRTY, IM NOT SLUTY, etc, that´ll help! believe me.
2.-About my parents, yea I still have problems admitting alcohol and stuff around me, but the best way to relieve me, has been to shove it on their faces everytime i can, like bringing it up when they are happy, and etc, they obviously ge tmad, but I see their faces, they also feel bad, I know this is mean, but the point here is myself, and how i feel better.
3.-The same for my dad cheating and stuff (he still lives in my house and is still married with my mum, but thats another story) , I rarely talk to him, and when I do, i allways say things like, "hey remember when you were with that slut..." etc..
4.-Bullied, well i cant help a lot here, because I was only verbal bullied, noone ever touched me in any way, but I think tha ta good way to avoid all kinds of bullying, would be to stand up and make it stop, the way i made it stop, although it might sound illegal, but it stoped thos bastards, was to pretend to be someone else in the msn and stuff, and I managed to get some things that were enough to make them stop..... PM me for more info.
5.-For the bullimic thing, I started to feel sick, so I stopped it, and went on a safe diet, and exercise, right now im starting to make some muscles, which makes me feel awesome.
6.-About being used, well its been hard, but I now realize which people are real friends and which arent, and i dont let myslef be used anymore, and yes, I dont help people close to me anymore, (but i miss it, so I came to this forum mainly to help)
7.-About the race thing, well -_-, i still hate it, but meh, that doesnt ever worry me anymore
Ok, thats all, If any of you want help, please PM me, im a good listener, and I can give great advices! ive suffered terrible things but im happy as hell now!!