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[FallenAngel]

I need help. But how can i help myself, when ive stopped caring about life? And when there seems like theres no point, i cant believe tht i can ever be happy.
I feel like i have no one to turn to. There are only a few ppl who i can tlk to, but there are reasons why i cant talk to them at the moment. They have their own issues, and they cant always be there for me. They have their own lives.

I dno wot to do. And i cant stand the way my medication is making me feel. I cant take this numb and lifeless feeling anymore. I sometimes wonder if the meds are helping me at all or if they are only making me worse =/

So many things i should do but i cant, i feel like only i can sort this mess out, but i cant see how! :(

my self esteem is at its lowest at the moment. Im actually starting to judge my m8s for still liking me =S Im a horrible person, and i feel like im making their lives worse. They deserve so much more.

I love my friends so much, they're more like my family to me them my actual family are. They're the ones who have stuck by me, wen every1 else has just left me. I want them to be happy, even if that means being without me. I dnt wna be responsible for causing them any pain. I couldn't stand tht.

I just dnt no how to feel, or what to do anymore.

Plus i have so much stress going on and i cant cope. I've been thinking about telling my family about my depression, but im too scared of how they'll react :(

I feel so lost and alone x

[Rutherford The Brave]

We are here for you, you can talk to us. Now, you have to pick yourself up. You need to make the best of everything, make everyday count. Make new friends, do more, strive to acheive. If you sit around wondering what if, and being sad you are only going to get worse. Your friends love you and they want to be there for you, but they cant always be there. They want you to be happy and you need to do it for them, and for yourself.

[overcome.]

I think a big problem with this is that you're battling this alone. If you're friends and family don't know, then nobody (besides us on the forum that read your posts) will ever know. People cannot help you if you do not let them in. I know the thoughts and feelings that you can be emotionally vulnerable if you 'expose' yourself and your problems to people - thinking that others can hurt you if they know this information. That is not always true, I bet your parents would feel a great deal of pain knowing that you're experiencing these issues to this degree.

I also know the feeling of isolation, feeling alone and like there's nobody there. Throughout these times, that are still even currently going on, I do my absolute best to focus on the positive. From this, focusing on things that make me happy (even if it's a small bit for a small portion of time each day - it's better than nothing). Focus on the things you enjoy, even if that's only one thing. A small time consuming hobby, a long time consuming hobby. They're all good. Enjoy the little things, you'd be surprised at how quickly they add up.