Getting over her

[TheTruth]

Okay so although i broke up with her early 2009, i recently can't stop thinking about her and the feelings i had for her :( Do they just go away with time or do i still have feelings for her, orrrr what something else?

[Rutherford The Brave]

Yes, if you find someone new you will be better off.

[Origami]

I agree with Greg above me, a new someone will help wash the old feelings away.
But sometimes all it takes is time, of course you've no doubt given it that, but finding other people to replace her, as stated above, can really help speed up rush the feelings away.
Not to lie- it may be a while longer before you move on, it may be a day, no one can really say how these things work in our own hearts.
You could still, and likely do, have feelings for her. Avoiding, following, or erasing these feelings lies entirely on your shoulders. Do you think it wise to follow? Should you keep dodging this? Or should you just let go?
Time, love, and tenderness- it always goes away.

[Art_dude]

Yes, if you find someone new you will be better off.

I respectfully disagree. Finding a new someone after a relationship that still is affecting you long after it has ended is pretty unhealthy. I don't know the extent of what your relationship was like, but if it's nearly been a year since your break up and you're still having feelings for this person, I'm guessing it was pretty serious.

The question to ask yourself is why WOULDN'T I still have feelings after a relationship that lasted x amount of months? You clearly liked this person. If you're looking to 'unfall out of love' let me save you the trouble of actually trying - it doesn't work. You will always have feelings for this person - you'd be stupid to think you wouldn't. The solution isn't to 'get over her' it's to 'move on' from her. As to how you go about moving on is your choice. Only you can figure that out. If finding a new love interest will do the trick then be my guest - just know that you're not resolving any feelings you're just repressing them.

[Rutherford The Brave]

I respectfully disagree. Finding a new someone after a relationship that still is affecting you long after it has ended is pretty unhealthy. I don't know the extent of what your relationship was like, but if it's nearly been a year since your break up and you're still having feelings for this person, I'm guessing it was pretty serious.

The question to ask yourself is why WOULDN'T I still have feelings after a relationship that lasted x amount of months? You clearly liked this person. If you're looking to 'unfall out of love' let me save you the trouble of actually trying - it doesn't work. You will always have feelings for this person - you'd be stupid to think you wouldn't. The solution isn't to 'get over her' it's to 'move on' from her. As to how you go about moving on is your choice. Only you can figure that out. If finding a new love interest will do the trick then be my guest - just know that you're not resolving any feelings you're just repressing them.

Your kind of contradicting yourself. I know he isn't resolving anything. But its over, there is oh hey now let me get past this so I can rush back to her. No they broke up, their is not going back. She's obviously moved on, and wallowing in your own self pity after a relationship ended a year ago, that is unhealthy.

[Origami]

Your kind of contradicting yourself. I know he isn't resolving anything. But its over, there is oh hey now let me get past this so I can rush back to her. No they broke up, their is not going back. She's obviously moved on, and wallowing in your own self pity after a relationship ended a year ago, that is unhealthy.

As blunt as it may be I'm again found in agreement. Mainly in part due to my own experiences with these situations. It does no good just drowning in a pool of emotions for someone who is gone. A year, as Greg said, she's obviously moved on by now. Finding someone new isn't unhealthy, honestly it can be used as a sort of push to get someone over a past relationship. Camping on these old emotions only break a heart even more, especially when the other person turns a cold shoulder.

[Art_dude]

Just because I didn't think a relationship is the best solution doesn't by default mean I want to have him wallow in self pity. I wouldn't want him to do that at all. And I'm not saying a relationship would necessarily be a bad thing - in fact as you said it could give him the extra push. I'm simply warning not to enter a relationship purely on the basis of getting over someone. If you feel the need to enter into a relationship to get over a past one, that is indeed unhealthy.

Also I have no idea where you got the idea that I suggested getting back with her: that is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what I was saying.

[Origami]

Yes, if you find someone new you will be better off.

I believe that's where the confusion of finding someone just to move on came from. I believe Greg meant finding someone new as in falling in love with a new person. Exploring a little more and seeing the possibilities and if you find someone new and fall in love then follow through. Or something along those lines.

[Rutherford The Brave]

I believe that's where the confusion of finding someone just to move on came from. I believe Greg meant finding someone new as in falling in love with a new person. Exploring a little more and seeing the possibilities and if you find someone new and fall in love then follow through. Or something along those lines.

Yes thats what I was going for.