How not to lose control?

[Breathless]

Hi, this post is probably going to make no sense.

but over the past year and a bit i've struggled with body image and eating patterns.. for most of last year i would skip lunch at school, not wanting to eat in front of people, and wanting people to think i didn't eat. Some days i would eat bowls and bowls of cereal for breakfast, and then feel really guilty, and some days i would deliberately skip breakfast. However i would always get home and then eat piles and piles of food, which is another reason i didnt eat at school, because i knew that once the fridge was nearby i would lose control and keep eating, so i wanted to compensate for that.

I always feel guilty after overeating, and there's been several times lately when i've eaten so much i felt sick, and just wanted to get everything out of me, i was so tempted to purge. I've tried it in the past but i couldnt do it, which just made me feel worse, i was also a cutter for ages.

Next year i will be in a stricter environment, with smaller meals, all of which i have to eat, and less access to food outside of mealtimes. So this will obviously help, but i am worried about what the change in eating habits will do to my shape, and so for the first term or so i think i will continue skipping lunch. I have made a promise to myself that i will excercise more, which will help, but i have so little willpower, its pathetic.

I guess i'm just asking for tips on staying incontrol of my weight, staying thin and losing a little bit, without getting so obsessed by it, and being depressed like before? i just want to look good for my ball in April, and make someone notice me.,
sorry this was so long.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Ok, first off NEVER SKIP BREAKFEST. It's the most important meal of the day, DO NOT EAT CEREAL. Its the lazy man's/womens' breakfest. If you do that you will even out your eating patterns. If you work out, and your eating patterns change this way, you will lose weight, You will look great. That is if you are working out as well.

[Nostrum]

i understand that, i used to be the exact same way.

eat healthy snacks when you feel hungry between meals. small ones, never eat too many, if you think of having anymore than whats necessary, move away from the source of food.
my friends mother is a nutritionist, and she says there is nothing wrong with eating cereal for breakfast, in fact its one of the best, by no means is it the lazy mans/womans breakfast. just as long that its low in sugar and high in fibre.
make your new years resolution to look good for your ball! and think about how you want to look at the end of your hard work, how many people will notice a difference, that should start with your motivation.