should i tell him?

[Kitty_Boy]

Okay this is my other thread about stuff i went through

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?p=732047#post732047

anyway, i met this really nice guy about a week ago, he's gay like me..and he seems really nice, he asked me to be his boyfriend and i said yes :) he's the first person ive gone out with and he makes me so happy...anyway he knows i self harm and he is helping me quit, (it was my 2010 resolution) in some ways i guess he is overprotective but i like it because he cares and ive never had someone like that before. however he doesnt know why i self harm, only that ive done it since i was nine and want to quit, he said he wont ask me why i do it, he will wait until im confortable telling him.
im scared he will judge me if he knows about what has happened in my past..i want to tell him but i dont know how...can anyone give me some advice?

thankies in advance

[Hoshwaa]

I just read about your past and I'm so sorry very everything that happened to you, it wasn't fair, and it wasn't your fault. Yet, I have to admire how much of a brave person you must be to get through all of that.

But back to the point, considering none of the past was your fault, I don't believe that anyone in the world would be so much of a prick to judge you on that, so I personally don't think you have to worry much about him judging you. However if he does, then it just shows that he wasn't right for you anyway.

But do not rush into telling him if you're not ready. Wait until you are comfortable like he said. And if you are finally ready, just find a private area and tell him.

I'm very sure that when you do tell him, he will react in the way that any normal person would, with love and care. I so very much hope that it works out for you, and that you have a wonderful future with a caring boyfriend.

[charlie w]

well, i'm not the expert at this sort of thing but just make sure that you both are confortable and calm when you tell him...and if he does something stupid, well the guy above has summed it up.

[ktkurbst0mp]

Well, I can tell you this;
I'm a lesbian.
And my girlfriend was molested when she was younger.
And when she finally was comfortable to tell me, she did.
I feel like we've gotten closer because of it, and I haven't judged her at all.
However, in the beginning I was very angry.
I was angry at the person that did that to her, because I am protective over her.

But truthfully, he shouldn't judge you at all if he really cares about you.
If anything, I think he would be happy you trusted him that much.
I really hope you guys work out.
And just wait until you're ready, find a time where you're alone, and you feel really comfortable with him.
And it will just happen.

I wish you luck. :)

[Kitty_Boy]

thankies for your support guys!

i told him last night...and i showed him what i had written about the abuse on here :) it was pretty emotional but he was really supportive of me and was happy i had told him. :yes: im really glad that i had the guts to admit what happened and i really really grateful for your advice :P thankiees