I tried my best...{Long..sorry}

[MMVM_Kaputt]

Kendra was my first real friend, we met at a park when I was five and she was a couple of years older. We clicked instantly, we had so much in common...we both loved swings, pokemon, smileys and other random stuff...
We told each other our "secrets" stuff when, at such a young age, seemed like the biggest thing ever, how I had nightmares alot and how she hated her new teacher.
We were friends for years...but on December 27th 2006 when she was just 14 and I was 13...she called me up, in tears and wanting to meet up. Of course... I agreed, the first callous thought that ran through my head was that her boyfriend had dumped her...what else was I supposed to think?
We met outside a little coffee shop, where she told me that her father had been sexually abusing her since she was three...that she couldn't take it any more, she needed to tell someone. I can still remember the smell of her perfume when she told me this, how I held her while she cried.
I asked her if her mum knew and she said no, I asked her if she wanted to tell her...her mum seemed to be one of the nicest people I knew, she was always smiling and so easygoing and she seemed to be able to make anything right.
Kendra nodded, and we agreed that I would go with her for support.
On the 28th...we went while Kendra's father was at work...her mum just looked shocked, didnt say anything. Then she just went mad, she was screaming at Kendra...calling her a liar...she kicked me out of the house and threatened to have a restraining order put on me if I ever came near the house again. I left in tears, hoping she would come round and support her daughter.
On the 30th December 2006...My 14th birthday I got a call at 3:02am from Kendras mum, saying she was dead. She had hung herself late evening on the 29th.
Her funeral was January 1st...great start to a new year...I saw the bastard there, told him I knew what he did...told him that he couldnt hurt her anymore. Her mum divorced him, and last year he got sent away for what he did, I guess she saw sense then...he's behind bars.
Ever since then, I've been feeling guilty...I was the one who suggested she tell her mum, if I had come up with a better option...childline? The Samaritans? Would she still be alive?
Sorry about how long this is...I just needed to get it off my chest because I've been carrying it around for so long, even saying that makes me feel guilty because her burden was so much greater than mine and she didn't complain about it.
Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry its so long.

[Charleigh]

aww thats a sad story =/ at least you were there for her

[thrust of trust]

i am so sorry to hear about your friend. i do not think you should wonder if you did the right thing. you did. i'm sure you could have gotten help from childline but her mom still would have to know eventually. and telling her first is what i think was the right thing to do. and don't apologize for it being long. that is what we're here for at VT. i hope your friend has peace now and is at a better place. i know the events were traumatic and i hope that you also find peace as well.

[peaceloverugby]

I'm very sorry you had to go through all that.

Here's my take: you were 13. You did what any 13 year old would do: go to someone you trusted. You did everything you could to help your friend. It's not your fault, you did your best.

Survivor's guilt sucks, trust me. I was texting my best friend in June while he was driving, and he died in a crash. You just have to keep going, it's what your friend would want.

[caitiemac]

Wow! You are such a strong person! You can get through this. Just like Connor said, you did what most people would do, regardless of age, you went to a person you both trusted. Even though it was three years ago, I know it's still hard, but look at how far you have gotten! Maybe it would be good for you to go see someone and talk out everything you feel?

[nick]

I agree with the others. You acted as a true friend, especially by going along to back her up. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Sadly her mum's reaction is all too common, just imagine how she must have felt afterwards.

Suicide is in someways a selfish act because it does affect and hurt other people. I'm sure your friend would not have wanted that though and would want you to try to move on and have a great life.

[XxHaViiK]

You did do everything possible to help her. I know losing a close friend is hard. I lost a good friend last year. He drowned in a river while rafting. Just remember that you did everything you could to help her, and then man that caused her to do that is now behind bars. But she wouldn't want you to feel guilty, you two obviously really cared about each other. So I'm sure she'd want you to be happy, and remember all of the fun things you two did together.

[sarah newman]

im so sorry to hear that. It wasnt youtr fault, you were there for your friend and thts thr best you could have done, you supported her the whole wa which is what a true friend would of done.
If you ever ned to talk about this then feel free to pm me any time xox

[Krazymitch]

i am sorry for your loss. i know what it is like to loss a friend you have had for soo long... i feel guilty for my friends death as well, unfortuneatly i didnt have any other friend when i lost my first friend to suicide, and i blamed myself for it, it is a big thing to blame yourself for some1's death, and in the circumstance's writen above, you should NOT be blameing or feeling guilty whichever it is. it will effect you for the rest of your life if you feel that you could of done more, you couldnt have done anything else, you did what you thought was right and it was the right thing to do. i know it can eb hard to believe at times but you truely did do the right thing by her, unfortuneatly her mum didnt come round fast enough and that is in NO way your fault, nor is it her mothers. if you would like to talk to someone who knows what its like to lose a close friend, as i have lost 2 childhood friend, feel free to PM me, i dont mind if you jsut want to scream and curse at me, i know i did that to people and still do when i think about my friends. if not then good luck, we are ALL here for you

[Asylum]

i'm sorry for your loss. but it's not your fault. you tried to help her. in the end her mom didn't want to believe it. it was her and her fahter's fault not yours. PM me if you need to talk i'm so orry