Rant for some children.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Stop stabbing yourself with things like glass, scissors and any other sharp objects. End rant.

[2D]

I would +rep you to no end but it says I can't. You just said what I've been wanting to post for several weeks now, thank you.

[The Joker]

I hate to sound dumb, but I'm really not sure what you are talking about. Care to explain Gregga?

[Triceratops]

Is this thread in regards to the self-harmers here? Or have I interpreted this incorrectly?

[mrmcdonaldduck]

I hate to sound dumb, but I'm really not sure what you are talking about. Care to explain Gregga?

i think he is talking about self harm.

[Rutherford The Brave]

I cannot say much because I will be some what of a hypocrite. But if you are self harming do not stab yourself. Its as simple as that.

[Sapphire]

I would love to know the reasoning behind this...

It seems pretty hypocritical as it is anyway so elaboration wouldn't make it too much worse.

[Charleigh]

i cant help but to self harm and stab if thats what your on about

[theOperaGhost]

Agreed, 100%

Self harm is pointless and stupid. Anybody who gets by or gets their kicks from mutilating themselves needs serious help.

[Mal]

Self harm is pointless and stupid. Anybody who gets by or gets their kicks from mutilating themselves needs serious help.

So how about trying to help rather than telling them that it's stupid? :rolleyes:

[Rutherford The Brave]

So how about trying to help rather than telling them that it's stupid? :rolleyes:

Because some kids are so stuck in their ways, sometimes its just better to tell them their are acting like complete idiots then wasting your time helping someone who doesn't want help.

[theOperaGhost]

So how about trying to help rather than telling them that it's stupid? :rolleyes:

Been there, done that...next suggestion?

[The Batman]

I think that just about everyone who do or have self harmed will agree with Jared on that one. It is stupid and I regret ever starting it, it's no better than a drug addiction.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Amen to that bro.

[Triceratops]

There's a fair amount of self-harmers who refuse any form of help, so many of them are incredibly stubborn and would be more than happy to continue their self-pitying ways, in a bid to gain attention and a little sympathy.

This clearly doesn't apply to each and every person partaking in an act of self-injury, but so many of them here fit in to that criteria quite perfectly tbh.

[YesterdaysNews]

There's a fair amount of self-harmers who refuse any form of help, so many of them are incredibly stubborn and would be more than happy to continue their self-pitying ways, in a bid to gain attention and a little sympathy.

This clearly doesn't apply to each and every person partaking in an act of self-injury, but so many of them here fit in to that criteria quite perfectly tbh.

Exactly the behavior one of my "friends" ( I don't know what to call him anymore) is showing. Not that he stabs himself but he did (not sure if he still does) self harm, and proceeded to show a lot of his friends, including me. He flaunts his cuts like it'll get him the attention he thinks he deserves. And it does, unfortunately, people feel sorry for him...

[Sapphire]

Ways of coping always have a point - even if they are maladaptive and not entirely logical/rational.

With regards to stubbornness and unwillingness to change, this is not just isolated to self harmers and is found across the populations. People with anorexia or bulimia often have the same unwillingness to change, for example.

[Jean Poutine]

Because some kids are so stuck in their ways, sometimes its just better to tell them their are acting like complete idiots then wasting your time helping someone who doesn't want help.

Someone after my own heart.

Sometimes it's much better to be direct and blunt.

"bro, you're really looking retarded right now, snap out of it" instead of "OMIGOSH POOR YOU ARE YOU ALRIGHT WHY OH WHY DO YOU HARM YOURSELF".

Playing their game just reinforces their delusion. I see no good that can come out of it. The trick is to distinguish pleas for help from attention seeking. Use context, I'm autistic and even I can do it.

For the matter, I've had my fair share of problems as a autistic kid growing up in a hostile world without any support. I've never once cut myself, I challenge you to find a scar on me that wasn't caused by a surgeon's scalpel. There are much better ways to cope than drawing blood and sometimes that needs to be learned the rough way.

[The Batman]

TBH being blunt and direct is a good thing SOMETIMES but it depends on the way you say it. You could either help them or you could end up doing more harm and come across as a heartless bastard. If you're going to be brutally honest then you have to at least do it out of love not just because you think you're helping. It's better hearing it from a friend instead of a complete stranger.

[Tiberius]

So how about trying to help rather than telling them that it's stupid? :rolleyes:

It's called admitting that you have a problem and getting help for it. i.e- get a psychiatrist and tell your parents. Doing self-harm causing the issue to be worse in most cases that it does to help.

[The Joker]

It's good to be blunt, but if you tend to be mean about it, no one will follow your advice.

[2D]

It's good to be blunt, but if you tend to be mean about it, no one will follow your advice.

Most people confuse blunt with mean so that doesn't really work.

[Cloud]

It's good to be blunt, but if you tend to be mean about it, no one will follow your advice.

actually sometimes its necessary to be mean to be blunt
some people get so nice that the point of the post is lost in a bunch of sugar coated bullshit
so
if your blunt about it its gonna have a clear message thats not drowned by crap
But some people dont take honesty well
so blunt also comes across as mean
but hey
youll remember it more if it offended you rather than if it made you feel like your amazing for doing it

[The Joker]

Don't be an idiot, if you do what you plan on doing, that would be the dumbest decision ever. It can only effect your life badly.

Versus....

You shouldn't do what you plan on doing. It would not be very smart of you to do that, there are much better ways of solving your problems. Doing (X) would be smarter than doing (X), so please make a smart decision. I hope I've helped you.

Which statement of advice do you think people will listen to?

[Sapphire]

Tbh, Matt, I think somewhere between the two is optimum.

[Cloud]

Tbh, Matt, I think somewhere between the two is optimum.
Ya
like be brutal but also offer a lil help
Don't be an idiot, if you do what you plan on doing, that would be the dumbest decision ever. It can only effect your life badly.
but also add
Doing (X) would be smarter than doing (X), so make a smart decision.

see
short and sweet
helpful and honest
and clear message that isnt shrouded by crap like the 'I hope I've helped you.'
and the 'It would not be very smart of you to do that, there are much better ways of solving your problems' since thats a clear no shit statement seeing as theyd be posting for help on it

[Triceratops]

I think if the advice is harsh, it's more likely to sink in.

[Maverick]

I disagree that you have to be mean or call people an idiot to make your advice have any valid input. You can't make somebody follow your advice. If their mind is already made up that they don't need your advice then being mean and brutal all you want isn't going to change anything.

Your advice is only going to mean something when they have decided on their own that they have a problem and need help. When they're willing to listen, then at that point you can tell them anything and they'll listen. When someone is taking a big step to admit they have a problem its not necessary to call them an idiot because they already done the smartest thing by getting help.

Its always my method to give the cold hard facts. If they choose not to listen, then that's on them. I'm not going to criticize them for it but later on when they realize I was right they'll remember to heed my warnings next time.

[theOperaGhost]

Ways of coping always have a point - even if they are maladaptive and not entirely logical/rational.

With regards to stubbornness and unwillingness to change, this is not just isolated to self harmers and is found across the populations. People with anorexia or bulimia often have the same unwillingness to change, for example.

Self-mutilation isn't a way of coping, it's a way of slowly and painfully killing yourself...coping mechanism my ass....

[The Batman]

Self-mutilation isn't a way of coping, it's a way of slowly and painfully killing yourself...coping mechanism my ass....

It's a self destructive coping method.

[MadManWithaBox]

Self harm is a self destructive way of coping. And playing up and being all sympathetic is exactly what gets them off. I came on here a few months ago, read a few of marcies and callums not mean, but to the point post's and my entire out look changed. If you're gonna act like that, there's no helping you, no one can. You can't be saved if you dont want to be. And Although I've had a few slip ups, I think I'm on the road to recovery, given time.

[Sage]

I don't know what all of you have against natural selection. If someone's being a dumbass and it doesn't affect me, then I'm under no obligation to tell them to quit it.

[Antares]

I personally think it can be avoided.
I am not exactly sure who started this whole...fad for lack of better words but it is probably the craziest thing I have ever...yea.

Your life sucks, yea, but why damage your body for 15 mintues and then go on to your life sucking? Then have to repeat every...however many days.
Those scars last...what people need to do instead of cutting their arms like paper is try to fix the problems or resort to other coping...no resort to ACTUAL coping mechanisms that will be beneficial to health. I.E. Working out (it actually releases cerotonin which makes you happy) or some other way of physical release (punching bag anyone) or eating something, eat a cookie (not too many) or anything else other than making yourself bleed and having a pity party.

Sorry if I sounded a bit insensitive.

Help yourself and get out of the friggin cycle.

[2D]

I don't know what all of you have against natural selection. If someone's being a dumbass and it doesn't affect me, then I'm under no obligation to tell them to quit it.

This wins.

[The Batman]

I don't know what all of you have against natural selection. If someone's being a dumbass and it doesn't affect me, then I'm under no obligation to tell them to quit it.

This wins.

That's a pretty heartless thing to say. You don't help people only if it affects you, you do it simply because it's the right thing to do. You see someone going down a self destructive path and you KNOW that it's not going to end up well but instead of saying something to them you keep you mouth shut keeping behind the excuse "it doesn't affect me so I'm under no obligation" then that makes you sound like a selfish and really horrible person. You don't give money to homeless guy(even if he just spends it on booze) thinking how he's going to pay you back, and you don't donate money or clothes to charities thinking how you're going to profit from it(even though some do it). So really if you're only going to try and offer someone help because it affects you then I hope that if you're ever in need of someone to help you then they are a better person than you are.

[theOperaGhost]

That's a pretty heartless thing to say. You don't help people only if it affects you, you do it simply because it's the right thing to do. You see someone going down a self destructive path and you KNOW that it's not going to end up well but instead of saying something to them you keep you mouth shut keeping behind the excuse "it doesn't affect me so I'm under no obligation" then that makes you sound like a selfish and really horrible person. You don't give money to homeless guy(even if he just spends it on booze) thinking how he's going to pay you back, and you don't donate money or clothes to charities thinking how you're going to profit from it(even though some do it). So really if you're only going to try and offer someone help because it affects you then I hope that if you're ever in need of someone to help you then they are a better person than you are.

Help people if there is a chance they can be helped. Some people just can't be helped...it's a sad reality, but it's the truth....there is no help for some people. Someone can help as much as they possibly can and fail. The person needing help has to want it. However, a good amount of people can't be helped because 1) they lack the motivation to change their lives, 2) they are too stubborn to change their lives, and 3) they can't admit that they need help in the first place. Some people can not be helped, so why bother?

[The Batman]

Help people if there is a chance they can be helped. Some people just can't be helped...it's a sad reality, but it's the truth....there is no help for some people. Someone can help as much as they possibly can and fail. The person needing help has to want it. However, a good amount of people can't be helped because 1) they lack the motivation to change their lives, 2) they are too stubborn to change their lives, and 3) they can't admit that they need help in the first place. Some people can not be helped, so why bother?

I don't care what you do as long as you at least try to to help someone and if they refuse it or there's nothing you can do then I'm fine with that but simply saying, "let natural selection play out" is a heartless statement.

[Bobby]

This is really a pointless argument.

While I agree with Greg, people on the other side of the spectrum have their "reasons" for thinking what they think and they are obviously the kind of people not to change their opinions.

[Sage]

This is really a pointless argument.

While I agree with Greg, people on the other side of the spectrum have their "reasons" for thinking what they think and they are obviously the kind of people not to change their opinions.

I'm the sort of person to change my opinion, just not without good reason.

[MadManWithaBox]

If you offer someone help over and over again, and they don't take cos they'd rather stay in their pit of self pity, that's their problem. And following up my earlier post, sympathy's all well good, but their has to be a line between sympathy and just playing up to them. If you just play up to them, they have no encouragement to change. You have to be cruel to be kind sounds mean, but that is, in my opinion, the best way to go.

[Sapphire]

Self-mutilation isn't a way of coping, it's a way of slowly and painfully killing yourself...coping mechanism my ass....Whether you like it or not, it is a coping mechanism. Not a good coping mechanism, but one nonetheless.

You can't be saved if you dont want to be.Truer words have never been uttered.

I don't care what you do as long as you at least try to to help someone and if they refuse it or there's nothing you can do then I'm fine with that but simply saying, "let natural selection play out" is a heartless statement.Agreed!

[Nostrum]

Exactly the behavior one of my "friends" ( I don't know what to call him anymore) is showing. Not that he stabs himself but he did (not sure if he still does) self harm, and proceeded to show a lot of his friends, including me. He flaunts his cuts like it'll get him the attention he thinks he deserves. And it does, unfortunately, people feel sorry for him...

urgh, i detest people that behave that way, its just insulting.
i'm a self harmer, i take no pride in it, and its fucking stupid to do, but in no means would i EVER in my life, let someone see my wounds and scars intentionally, thats just repulsing.


i see contradictory in this, why do people pay so much attention to stabbing cutting or whatever as a method of self harm when going parties and getting drunk is self harming, possibly not to cope, but their pathetic way of 'having fun'. cigarette, drug and alcohol addiction/use is a method of self mutilation yet so many over look it, because they see these things as a luxury or pleasure.
i bet someone is going to out-smart me with this, but seriously, i see no difference, why is drinking more acceptable than cutting?

[Sapphire]

i see contradictory in this, why do people pay so much attention to stabbing cutting or whatever as a method of self harm when going parties and getting drunk is self harming, possibly not to cope, but their pathetic way of 'having fun'. cigarette, drug and alcohol addiction/use is a method of self mutilation yet so many over look it, because they see these things as a luxury or pleasure.
i bet someone is going to out-smart me with this, but seriously, i see no difference, why is drinking more acceptable than cutting?
I think it is because as a society we all acknowledge that drinking can be pleasurable. It is harder for society to acknowledge the pleasure that can be gained from self harm and so it is taboo.

[Nostrum]

I think it is because as a society we all acknowledge that drinking can be pleasurable. It is harder for society to acknowledge the pleasure that can be gained from self harm and so it is taboo.

i understand that fully. i just think substance abuse is too over looked, where as cutting/burning and what not is too focused on, as a way to self harm. i know heaps of people who substance abuse yet everyone just sees them as 'junkies' or 'addicts' instead of self harmer.
i'm probably biased on that though, i've know some alcoholics and i see no reason to glorify alcohol as pleasurable because of what its done to them and what ive seen. i can see it can pleasurable to people, but their reasons behind the pleasure is kinda silly.

[Sapphire]

i understand that fully. i just think substance abuse is too over looked, where as cutting/burning and what not is too focused on, as a way to self harm. i know heaps of people who substance abuse yet everyone just sees them as 'junkies' or 'addicts' instead of self harmer.
i'm probably biased on that though, i've know some alcoholics and i see no reason to glorify alcohol as pleasurable because of what its done to them and what ive seen. i can see it can pleasurable to people, but their reasons behind the pleasure is kinda silly.
The problem is that they (self harm and substance abuse) are all very different. Yes, they both result in damage being done to the persons well being. But they do so in different ways with different effects and different reasons.
I've never heard of a self harmer drawing blood to forget things or an alcoholic reaching for the vodka to punish themselves, for example.

[Nostrum]

The problem is that they (self harm and substance abuse) are all very different. Yes, they both result in damage being done to the persons well being. But they do so in different ways with different effects and different reasons.
I've never heard of a self harmer drawing blood to forget things or an alcoholic reaching for the vodka to punish themselves, for example.

indeed so, thanks for clearing that up. i guess you need to see it from the self harmer's point of view and their method. when i think about it a relation of mine is an alcoholic, even before i was born and ever since i could remember they drank frequently and became abusive, but they claim they drink because its pleasurable and enjoys it, but once really thought about, i can see that they do it for maybe to enjoy at times, but also to forget things, their troubles and what not, or to forget once again what they do while abusive, which makes them abusive once more, like a viscous cycle.

[theOperaGhost]

Whether you like it or not, it is a coping mechanism. Not a good coping mechanism, but one nonetheless.

Truer words have never been uttered.

Agreed!

It's a stupid and pointless coping mechanism. Other stupid and pointless coping mechanisms are substance abuse and violently taking out your depressive aggression on others (beating the shit out of someone, raping someone, murdering someone, etc, etc, etc).

I'm sure the majority will agree that slicing yourself up is a stupid and pointless coping mechanism. Why? You're hurting yourself so you can get by living for a few more hours. Then, when you realize you've cut again, you're pissed off at yourself and are just going to end up doing it again. Coping mechanisms should HELP you, not harm you. Cutting yourself up not only harms you physically, it harms you mentally after the fact. It only makes you more depressed and more miserable. If you can see making yourself all the more depressed as a coping mechanism...you need help.

But like that one person said...you can't help people who don't want to be helped. I couldn't agree more. I said it one of my posts yesterday, but I'll repeat it. "A good amount of people can't be helped because 1) they lack the motivation to change their lives, 2) they are too stubborn to change their lives, and 3) they can't admit that they need help in the first place. Some people can not be helped, so why bother?" Depressed people are a hindrance to society in the first place...

[Sapphire]

It's a stupid and pointless coping mechanism. Other stupid and pointless coping mechanisms are substance abuse and violently taking out your depressive aggression on others (beating the shit out of someone, raping someone, murdering someone, etc, etc, etc).

I'm sure the majority will agree that slicing yourself up is a stupid and pointless coping mechanism. Why? You're hurting yourself so you can get by living for a few more hours. Then, when you realize you've cut again, you're pissed off at yourself and are just going to end up doing it again. Coping mechanisms should HELP you, not harm you. Cutting yourself up not only harms you physically, it harms you mentally after the fact. It only makes you more depressed and more miserable. If you can see making yourself all the more depressed as a coping mechanism...you need help.Humans, along with other animals, will naturally do anything to stay alive. The things they turn to to help them deal with times of stress and hardship all are coping mechanisms.
No coping mechanism is stupid or pointless if it keeps you alive. It may lack rationality and clear logic (like in the case of self harm) but that does not render it as pointless.

http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/coping/coping.htm

I very, very sincerely doubt that I am the only one who has actually been kept alive by my self harm.

But like that one person said...you can't help people who don't want to be helped. I couldn't agree more. I said it one of my posts yesterday, but I'll repeat it. "A good amount of people can't be helped because 1) they lack the motivation to change their lives, 2) they are too stubborn to change their lives, and 3) they can't admit that they need help in the first place. Some people can not be helped, so why bother?" Depressed people are a hindrance to society in the first place...
You can't just write people off as helpless without trying to help.
If you don't try to help someone then how do you know that that particular person can't be helped?

[Antares]

I don't think anyone has been kept alive by self harming.
They have been kept alive by reasoning.

Most people that contemplate or even say they will commit suicide never do.
The people that self harm do not commit suicide usually because in general people don't do that.
Self harm may "relieve" stress or anxiety or depression whatever, but it certainly doesn't save people.
The thing that saves people is basic instincts and the complete fact that it is hard to kill yourself.

[The Batman]

Self Harm is just something that's hard to understand if you haven't been through it.

[Sapphire]

I don't think anyone has been kept alive by self harming.
They have been kept alive by reasoning.

Most people that contemplate or even say they will commit suicide never do.
The people that self harm do not commit suicide usually because in general people don't do that.
Self harm may "relieve" stress or anxiety or depression whatever, but it certainly doesn't save people.
The thing that saves people is basic instincts and the complete fact that it is hard to kill yourself."You have kept me alive, got me through every day, knowing that when I came home I could turn to you."
-- From http://www.safeincanada.org/dearselfharm.htm

"Self-harm helped me survive during the abuse, and for some years later; it kept me alive."
-- From http://www.cherylrainfield.com/article_self-harm.html

"Self-harming kept me alive. I’d let out all the pain in my head, which stopped me slashing my wrists or taking tablets."
-- From http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3537553.ece

"I regret the fact that I have scars but I’m not ashamed of them, how can you be ashamed of something that's kept me alive."
-- From http://www.sis-cumbria.org.uk/stories.html

" Not many would understand this, but I believe that it kept me alive."
-- From http://www.bme.com/ritual/A50622/rittheda.html

Try saying that it doesn't keep people alive now...

[Antares]

"You have kept me alive, got me through every day, knowing that when I came home I could turn to you."
-- From http://www.safeincanada.org/dearselfharm.htm

"Self-harm helped me survive during the abuse, and for some years later; it kept me alive."
-- From http://www.cherylrainfield.com/article_self-harm.html

"Self-harming kept me alive. I’d let out all the pain in my head, which stopped me slashing my wrists or taking tablets."
-- From http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/the_way_we_live/article3537553.ece

"I regret the fact that I have scars but I’m not ashamed of them, how can you be ashamed of something that's kept me alive."
-- From http://www.sis-cumbria.org.uk/stories.html

" Not many would understand this, but I believe that it kept me alive."
-- From http://www.bme.com/ritual/A50622/rittheda.html

Try saying that it doesn't keep people alive now...

Simple, self-harming doesn't keep you alive.


Yourself keeps you alive.

[theOperaGhost]

Find a better god damn way to keep yourself alive then. If you're going to be cutting yourself, you might as well be killing yourself. Self harm doesn't keep you alive...logical thought keeps you alive.

[deadpie]

If you really want to know why and who is self harming the most; you should just go to this site and you might get the idea.
http://pandys.org

[Triceratops]

As a matter of fact, self-injury was one of the few things that prevented me from committing suicide; although, it did trigger more problems for myself, and it most definitely was a foolish way of avoiding death. If someone was feeling at their lowest, cutting would give them the illusion of an escape. The release of endorphins and their wretched emotions (depression, anxiety, stress or repressed memories, as such) would relieve them from the psychological pain.

Self-injury IS a coping mechanism - a very dangerous one. The misuse of alcohol and drugs are other forms of harmful coping mechanisms - so, anyone who abuses these must also seek professional help, alongside self-harmers.

[Plateau]

That "tough love" crap just doesn't work for everyone. ;(

[Sapphire]

Simple, self-harming doesn't keep you alive.

Yourself keeps you alive.Coping mechanisms, by their very definitions, help you cope with life and therefore help keep you alive. You just seem to be having trouble accepting that this works with self harm too.

Find a better god damn way to keep yourself alive then. If you're going to be cutting yourself, you might as well be killing yourself. Self harm doesn't keep you alive...logical thought keeps you alive.
Again, it is a coping mechanism and therefore helps keep you alive. Of course it isn't a good coping mechanism and that is why part of overcoming self harm is adopting better ways of coping.

[Tiberius]

Seeing as how this is turning into a debate...TWPR :arrow: ROTW

[2D]

Self-harm is akin to breaking your arm so you don't feel your shattered kneecap as much. It works as well as a square wheel and it does more damage in the long run.

I'm one to help if someone asks, if I think they can benefit greatly from it, or if I can benefit from it, but if someone shows no signs of even trying to stop such a pointless and destructive method of killing themselves then I'm perfectly happy to let them.

[theOperaGhost]

Self-harm is akin to breaking your arm so you don't feel your shattered kneecap as much. It works as well as a square wheel and it does more damage in the long run.

I'm one to help if someone asks, if I think they can benefit greatly from it, or if I can benefit from it, but if someone shows no signs of even trying to stop such a pointless and destructive method of killing themselves then I'm perfectly happy to let them.

^^This....

[deadpie]

Their is many reasons why people do it.

- Self punishment or self-hate may be involved. Some people who self-injure have a childhood history of physical, sexual and emotional abuse. They may erroneously blame themselves for having been abused, they may feel that they deserved it and are now punishing themselves because of self-hatred and low self-esteem. (helpguide.com) ((For more information, research Post Traummatic Stress Disorder))

- Affect modulation (distraction from emotional pain, ending feelings of numbness, lessening a desire to suicide, calming overwhelming/intense feelings)

-Maintaining control and distracting the self from painful thoughts or memories

- Expression of things that can't be put into words (displaying anger, showing the depth of emotional pain, seeking support and help)

- Expression of feelings for which they have no label -- this phenomenon, called alexithymia (literally no words feeling), is common in people who self-harm
(selfinjury.org)


Really, you wouldn't understand what it does unless you've tried it yourself. By the way, children aren't the only ones that do it OP. Adults do it too. Even my mom did it, which made me think that their wasn't a problem with it. I guess that might be a reason i started doing it-so many people in my family had already used it as a solution (a bad one).

[theOperaGhost]

Find...another...god damn...way...to live....your pathetic...lives!!!!!!!!! Cutting yourselves up just makes you all the more pathetic. Do something productive for yourself and society. You're lives can't be that fucking bad. Suck it up, deal with your shit, and move on like normal people do. There are many more proactive ways to cope...why the fuck would you choose the most god damn maladaptive way there is? Think logically and don't be so fucking stupid.

[Antares]

Okay, so you say that Self Harm keeps you alive.
Please explain it then because in my opinion and I think a lot of others, the only thing that can keep you alive is YOU.

IF you are contemplating suicide, self-harming isnt the thing that will convince you to not, it is YOURSELF. Your own self knowing that you shouldnt, wont, or cant do it

[Sapphire]

Find...another...god damn...way...to live....your pathetic...lives!!!!!!!!! Cutting yourselves up just makes you all the more pathetic. Do something productive for yourself and society. You're lives can't be that fucking bad. Suck it up, deal with your shit, and move on like normal people do. There are many more proactive ways to cope...why the fuck would you choose the most god damn maladaptive way there is? Think logically and don't be so fucking stupid.Don't you see that it is a temporary way of dealing with your shit? Don't you see that when people are feeling intensely, they aren't as rational or logical as they normally are?

Okay, so you say that Self Harm keeps you alive.
Please explain it then because in my opinion and I think a lot of others, the only thing that can keep you alive is YOU.

IF you are contemplating suicide, self-harming isnt the thing that will convince you to not, it is YOURSELF. Your own self knowing that you shouldnt, wont, or cant do it
I'm not saying that self harm convinces you to choose life over death. I'm saying that it helps you cope and makes life more bearable (even if only for half an hour). Suicide is something you do when you are utterly hopeless and desperate and can't cope - by helping you cope with life, self harm helps keep you alive.

[theOperaGhost]

Don't you see that it is a temporary way of dealing with your shit? Don't you see that when people are feeling intensely, they aren't as rational or logical as they normally are?


Don't you see that it is a temporary way that leads to more problems? Coping mechanisms don't lead to more problems, they get you past problems. If cutting is the only way a person can find to cope, they are pathetic and need to figure out their god damn problem before they make their problem any worse. Self-destructive coping mechanisms are no way to cope, it only shows weakness and avoidance of their real problems.

Anyone who cuts need to grow some balls, realize they have a huge problem that cutting will NEVER solve, and get help for themselves. People aren't just going to help you if you don't come to them, but most of the time if you go to someone for help, they will in fact help you, mainly because it shows a willingness to be helped...something that most cutters lack.

Cutting does not solve any problems, it doesn't help you get through anything in the long term, and it needs to be stopped.

[The Batman]

Don't you see that it is a temporary way that leads to more problems? Coping mechanisms don't lead to more problems, they get you past problems. If cutting is the only way a person can find to cope, they are pathetic and need to figure out their god damn problem before they make their problem any worse. Self-destructive coping mechanisms are no way to cope, it only shows weakness and avoidance of their real problems.

Anyone who cuts need to grow some balls, realize they have a huge problem that cutting will NEVER solve, and get help for themselves. People aren't just going to help you if you don't come to them, but most of the time if you go to someone for help, they will in fact help you, mainly because it shows a willingness to be helped...something that most cutters lack.

Cutting does not solve any problems, it doesn't help you get through anything in the long term, and it needs to be stopped.

Cutting is simply a short term fix like a drug addict getting high when he feels shit. It's a horrible thing but it really does help some people make it another day or two. It's not something that can really be explained because it's different for each person but really it's something you have to go through to understand.

[Mal]

*sigh* Of course it needs to be stopped, but telling someone who's depressed that they're a pathetic waste of space isn't going to help anyone. Give them the facts, but don't be an arse about it.

[theOperaGhost]

*sigh* Of course it needs to be stopped, but telling someone who's depressed that they're a pathetic waste of space isn't going to help anyone. Give them the facts, but don't be an arse about it.

I never said they were a waste of space...don't put words in my mouth. Being brutally honest is one of my specialties. Deal with it.

[Rutherford The Brave]

I never said they were a waste of space...don't put words in my mouth. Being brutally honest is one of my specialties. Deal with it.

Quoted for the truth.

[deadpie]

Find...another...god damn...way...to live....your pathetic...lives!!!!!!!!! Cutting yourselves up just makes you all the more pathetic. Do something productive for yourself and society. You're lives can't be that fucking bad. Suck it up, deal with your shit, and move on like normal people do. There are many more proactive ways to cope...why the fuck would you choose the most god damn maladaptive way there is? Think logically and don't be so fucking stupid.

There's many people around the world who self harm because they are tortured, raped, and abused. But i guess they should just suck it up, right? If you say yes, that makes you a total dipshit. And truthfully, not everyone is "normal" or whatever the fuck that even is-when normal is really just a goddamn illusion.
For yourself and society? A person that self harms doesn't give a damn about what society thinks, and society's opinion on self harm doesn't mean shit or do shit.
There's many authors out their who have published autobiographies about self harming and drug abuse. So in a way, society does accept this going on.

People need to look at other point of views for a fucking change. Maybe they would understand.

[2D]

I'm not saying that self harm convinces you to choose life over death. I'm saying that it helps you cope and makes life more bearable (even if only for half an hour). Suicide is something you do when you are utterly hopeless and desperate and can't cope - by helping you cope with life, self harm helps keep you alive.

coping mechanism

–noun Psychology.
an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort.

Cutting does not enhance your control over anything for longer than that blade in digging into your flesh. After that you are left wondering why teh fuck you just did that to yourself and you feel even more confused, and before you say I wouldn't know, I would.

There's many people around the world who self harm because they are tortured, raped, and abused. But i guess they should just suck it up, right?

Yes. I'm not saying just sit there and take it, they should try and help themselves. Cutting is not a way to help yourself.

If you say yes, that makes you a total dipshit.

I beg to differ.

And truthfully, not everyone is "normal" or whatever the fuck that even is-when normal is really just a goddamn illusion.
For yourself and society? A person that self harms doesn't give a damn about what society thinks, and society's opinion on self harm doesn't mean shit or do shit.
There's many authors out their who have published autobiographies about self harming and drug abuse. So in a way, society does accept this going on.

No one is normal. Lulz. A person who self harms doesn't give a shit about anything. Nothing. If they can do that to themselves in spite knowing they won't feel better, knowing that they're hurting other people, knowing that they could get help, then they don't deserve help. They must make a move in order to get better, you can't just wallow in self pity slicing yourself to bits expecting someone to help.

And in response to your whole society thing, WTF are you trying to prove?

People need to look at other point of views for a fucking change. Maybe they would understand.

I know their point of view since I was one, and I understand, so don't lecture me about it.

[deadpie]

coping mechanism

Yes. I'm not saying just sit there and take it, they should try and help themselves. Cutting is not a way to help yourself.


All forms of abuse are not something you can fix yourself-you need therapy and all sorts of things.

Cutting most people a boost of adrenaline when they do it, so it helps temporarily. That's why a person that self harms will end up doing it more and more, making the cuts worse. After a while, they won't give a damn about getting help-it's exactly like drug use.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Hey kiddies keep it civil, I think this thread serves a purpose. So I'd like it to stay open.

[Antares]

I agree with Motormouth :)

Coping mechanisms, by their very definitions, help you cope with life and therefore help keep you alive. You just seem to be having trouble accepting that this works with self harm too.

Not true. Being alive and having a life in the context you are using are two different things. Being alive is your heart pumping, etc.
On the otherside we have life as in problems, stress, problems, pain due to hearthbreak or maybe phsyical abuse, whatever. Whatever people cut for is on this side.

By s/h you are not keeping yourself alive (in the sense that you are stopping yourself from suicide) you are simply distracting yourself from the problems that you have.
But they are two different things and that distinction has to be made.

People don't avoid suicide because they s/h

[2D]

All forms of abuse are not something you can fix yourself-you need therapy and all sorts of things.

I said they shoudl try and help themselves, there are many ways one can help oneself. Like going out and getting help for one.

Cutting most people a boost of adrenaline when they do it, so it helps temporarily. That's why a person that self harms will end up doing it more and more, making the cuts worse. After a while, they won't give a damn about getting help-it's exactly like drug use.

It's like drug use except it's much easier to overcome, I think heroine and the like are more addicting. People don't die when they stop cutting from the withdraw.

If you want adrenaline there many other healthy ways to get it.

I'm not sure what you're getting at with the "cutting gets worse and they don't give a shit" bit.

I agree with Motormouth :)



Not true. Being alive and having a life in the context you are using are two different things. Being alive is your heart pumping, etc.
On the otherside we have life as in problems, stress, problems, pain due to hearthbreak or maybe phsyical abuse, whatever. Whatever people cut for is on this side.

By s/h you are not keeping yourself alive (in the sense that you are stopping yourself from suicide) you are simply distracting yourself from the problems that you have.
But they are two different things and that distinction has to be made.

People don't avoid suicide because they s/h

This deserves a standing ovation.

Hey kiddies keep it civil, I think this thread serves a purpose. So I'd like it to stay open.

I'll try. (:

[theOperaGhost]

There's many people around the world who self harm because they are tortured, raped, and abused. But i guess they should just suck it up, right? If you say yes, that makes you a total dipshit. And truthfully, not everyone is "normal" or whatever the fuck that even is-when normal is really just a goddamn illusion.
For yourself and society? A person that self harms doesn't give a damn about what society thinks, and society's opinion on self harm doesn't mean shit or do shit.
There's many authors out their who have published autobiographies about self harming and drug abuse. So in a way, society does accept this going on.

People need to look at other point of views for a fucking change. Maybe they would understand.

There are many people around the world who do not self harm that have been tortured, raped, and abused. What's your god damn point? Cutting isn't going to change anything. Going out, getting away from your self loathing, and finding help will. I'm not saying those people should just suck it up...they should do something about it. However, if they start cutting themselves up, then they do need to suck it up...they have a problem that they're only making worse...GET HELP!

coping mechanism

–noun Psychology.
an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort.

Cutting does not enhance your control over anything for longer than that blade in digging into your flesh. After that you are left wondering why teh fuck you just did that to yourself and you feel even more confused, and before you say I wouldn't know, I would.



Yes. I'm not saying just sit there and take it, they should try and help themselves. Cutting is not a way to help yourself.



I beg to differ.



No one is normal. Lulz. A person who self harms doesn't give a shit about anything. Nothing. If they can do that to themselves in spite knowing they won't feel better, knowing that they're hurting other people, knowing that they could get help, then they don't deserve help. They must make a move in order to get better, you can't just wallow in self pity slicing yourself to bits expecting someone to help.

And in response to your whole society thing, WTF are you trying to prove?



I know their point of view since I was one, and I understand, so don't lecture me about it.

This also deserves a standing ovation...I can't say anything much better than Jeff did in this post...I'd rep you a million times for it, but I think I've repped you too recently.

[Sapphire]

Cutting is simply a short term fix like a drug addict getting high when he feels shit. It's a horrible thing but it really does help some people make it another day or two. It's not something that can really be explained because it's different for each person but really it's something you have to go through to understand.QFT!!

coping mechanism

–noun Psychology.
an adaptation to environmental stress that is based on conscious or unconscious choice and that enhances control over behavior or gives psychological comfort.

Cutting does not enhance your control over anything for longer than that blade in digging into your flesh. After that you are left wondering why teh fuck you just did that to yourself and you feel even more confused, and before you say I wouldn't know, I would.First of all, you clearly ignored the part that I have highlighted in bold.
Secondly, self harm is a way of gaining some control over something. If other people are running your life for you then it can feel as if you have nothing you can properly control. It is also a way of gaining some psychological comfort - or relief - so, how is it not a coping mechanism?

And since you know what it's like, you should know that it does help you cope temporarily.

No one is normal. Lulz. A person who self harms doesn't give a shit about anything. Nothing. If they can do that to themselves in spite knowing they won't feel better, knowing that they're hurting other people, knowing that they could get help, then they don't deserve help. They must make a move in order to get better, you can't just wallow in self pity slicing yourself to bits expecting someone to help.Just because someone self harms doesn't mean that they don't care about anything or for anyone. Not every self harmer refuses help and opts instead to "wallow in self pity". And just because you have an overly critical and horribly stereotyped view of self harmers, it doesn't make it true.

I know their point of view since I was one, and I understand, so don't lecture me about it.You clearly don't understand as much as you say you do. You have a very strict and narrow view which is only applicable to some self harmers.
Not to mention having poorly attempted to pick holes in the fact that it is a coping mechanism.

Not true. Being alive and having a life in the context you are using are two different things. Being alive is your heart pumping, etc.
On the otherside we have life as in problems, stress, problems, pain due to hearthbreak or maybe phsyical abuse, whatever. Whatever people cut for is on this side.

By s/h you are not keeping yourself alive (in the sense that you are stopping yourself from suicide) you are simply distracting yourself from the problems that you have.
But they are two different things and that distinction has to be made.

People don't avoid suicide because they s/hCoping mechanisms, by their very definition, help people deal with the difficulties in life.
When you can't cope with life and it all builds on top of you - you get desperate and hopeless. It is at this point that people are likely to become actively suicidal.
Self harm helps you cope and by doing so helps keep you back a bit from that state of desperation and hopelessness. By doing this, it helps keep you alive.

I have little doubt that you would agree that sharing problems helps people cope and helps them avoid the state of mind that leads up to active suicidal states. So, why can't you see that self harm does this too, just in an unhealthy way?

[theOperaGhost]

BECAUSE SELF HARM ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE! Coping mechanisms don't make things worse, they don't make people more suicidal, they don't make people hate themselves more than they already did. Coping mechanisms help people, not hurt them more. The temporary fix will only help keep them alive for a few more hours until they start having suicidal thoughts again...then they cut again, and the cycle repeats...until they get REAL help. Thus cutting is completely pathetic and pointless. Get yourself real help...don't try calling mutilating yourself help, because it's just the opposite.

Do something good for yourself instead of killing yourself...if you're not willing or motivated enough to do that, you might as well just end it all...because there is no chance for you.

[Triceratops]

Secondly, self harm is a way of gaining some control over something. If other people are running your life for you then it can feel as if you have nothing you can properly control. It is also a way of gaining some psychological comfort - or relief - so, how is it not a coping mechanism?

Exactly.

People enduring certain eating disorders (such as bulimia or anorexia), also use parts of their illness to gain control and relieve themselves over the torment, anxiety, stress, abuse or depression occuring in their lives. Self-injury and eating disorders are similar in their own specific ways, and they are also both coping mechanisms - although, some people with eating disorders aren't intentionally trying to damage their body, even if they happen to be doing so.

[deadpie]

This fucking topic is going nowhere now. It's just getting very repetitive.

[AllThatIsLeft]

All forms of abuse are not something you can fix yourself-you need therapy and all sorts of things.


That is not true.
Many people out there, MYSELF INCLUDED, have gone through shit in their life, and such things as counseling, and therapy were not available.
The person who has been under any kind of abuse is the first needed person to make a change.
If you don't want it, there is nothing no one can do.
And those people who want to be helped, will be the first to help themselves.
That either being seeking external help, or helping themselves somehow. (That is not were cutting comes in)

I never seen bigger blasphemy than saying that you can't fix yourself. The first step to recuperation is helping yourself.

[2D]

QFT!!

First of all, you clearly ignored the part that I have highlighted in bold.
Secondly, self harm is a way of gaining some control over something. If other people are running your life for you then it can feel as if you have nothing you can properly control. It is also a way of gaining some psychological comfort - or relief - so, how is it not a coping mechanism?

Control for 30 minutes, then a downward spiral through the depths of hell. That's a very stupid hand-off. A coping mechanism helps, cutting helps at first, then everything gets worse until cutting just doesn't cut it anymore, (pun unintended but funny) then you're even more fucked up than when you started.

And since you know what it's like, you should know that it does help you cope temporarily.

I never said it didn't.

"Cutting does not enhance your control over anything for longer than that blade in digging into your flesh." - Yours Truly

Just because someone self harms doesn't mean that they don't care about anything or for anyone. Not every self harmer refuses help and opts instead to "wallow in self pity". And just because you have an overly critical and horribly stereotyped view of self harmers, it doesn't make it true.

I was replying to a certain portion of deadpie's post, it makes sense it context, you should read what I'm replying to before making wildly outlandish accusations.

You clearly don't understand as much as you say you do. You have a very strict and narrow view which is only applicable to some self harmers.
Not to mention having poorly attempted to pick holes in the fact that it is a coping mechanism.

Coping helps, cutting helps for about 30 minutes then everything gets worse as you have to escalate your cuts, it helps only as long as you have a blade to your skin.

Coping mechanisms, by their very definition, help people deal with the difficulties in life.
When you can't cope with life and it all builds on top of you - you get desperate and hopeless. It is at this point that people are likely to become actively suicidal.
Self harm helps you cope and by doing so helps keep you back a bit from that state of desperation and hopelessness. By doing this, it helps keep you alive.

When I can't cope I go read a book or meditate, I suggest people try something other then cutting.

You decided to cut to stay alive for another 30 minutes, you decided to try and stay away from suicide you can easily stop cutting and not commit suicide if only you weren't so caught up in yourself. (You being the collective cutters you)

I cut out the last part of your post out because it wasn't directed at me.

This fucking topic is going nowhere now. It's just getting very repetitive.

I wonder why. :rolleyes:

[The Batman]

BECAUSE SELF HARM ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE! Coping mechanisms don't make things worse, they don't make people more suicidal, they don't make people hate themselves more than they already did. Coping mechanisms help people, not hurt them more. The temporary fix will only help keep them alive for a few more hours until they start having suicidal thoughts again...then they cut again, and the cycle repeats...until they get REAL help. Thus cutting is completely pathetic and pointless. Get yourself real help...don't try calling mutilating yourself help, because it's just the opposite.

Do something good for yourself instead of killing yourself...if you're not willing or motivated enough to do that, you might as well just end it all...because there is no chance for you.
It is a coping mechanism rather you like it or not.


It's a coping mechanism, just not one that's as understandable to most people and as accepted by society as alcoholism, drug abuse, overeating, anorexia, bulimia, workaholism, smoking cigarettes, and other forms of problem avoidance are.
from http://www.selfinjury.org/docs/factsht.html

Self-injury usually indicates that somewhere during development that person didn't learn good ways of coping with overwhelming feelings or stress. They’re not sick or insane; they just never learned positive ways to deal with feelings and emotions for various reasons. Positive coping skills can be learned at any point in life. People who self-injure can learn to use new and healthier coping mechanisms. This process may take years to develop with the help of a skilled therapist familiar with this condition.
http://www.essortment.com/articles/self-injury_100006.htm

A common belief regarding self-harm is that it is an attention-seeking behaviour; however, in most cases, this is inaccurate. Many self-harmers are very self-conscious of their wounds and scars and feel guilty about their behaviour leading them to go to great lengths to conceal their behaviour from others.[12] They may offer alternative explanations for their injuries, or conceal their scars with clothing.[13][14] Self-harm in such individuals is not associated with suicidal or para-suicidal behaviour. A person who self-harms is not usually seeking to end their own life; it has been suggested instead that they are using self-harm as a coping mechanism to relieve emotional pain or discomfort.[3][4] Studies of individuals with developmental disabilities (such as mental retardation) have shown self-harm being dependent on environmental factors such as obtaining attention or escape from demands.[15] Though this is not always the case, some individuals suffer from dissociation and they harbor a desire to feel real and/or to fit in to society's rules.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

[theOperaGhost]

It is a coping mechanism rather you like it or not.



from http://www.selfinjury.org/docs/factsht.html


http://www.essortment.com/articles/self-injury_100006.htm


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-harm

It's a coping mechanism that is pointless and doesn't help for more than a few minutes, or maybe hours. It's pathetic...find some other way to cope, because this is the weakest, most pathetic way possible.

[The Batman]

I'm actually tired of opening this thread and reading you and a couple other call this thing sick, pathetic, or weak. Really most of you guys have no clue what's going on in the mind of a cutter before that blade touches their skin so you can not judge the act. It's not sick it's sad, however the person is sick and like any other addict they don't really see the problem at first. You might not like the act and you might not agree with it but for some it's a small amount of pain that helps them survive through the night after whatever it is has them contemplating ending it.

How the hell can you judge what they do if you haven't walked in their shoes?

[2D]

I judge because I've been there, done that, and beaten it.

And I do believe I've been more respectful than most people in this thread, which is not like me.

[Rutherford The Brave]

Keep it civilized plllleeeeeeaseeeee I beg you all.

[Antares]

Well I won't let myself get to that point.
Putting a blade to my skin isn't the solution.
Your life may be crappy just like every single other human being in the world, but we need to fight and persevere.
There are ways to deal with a crappy life (and trust me, everyone has a crappy life to some extent) and cutting isn't one.

So as a message to all cutters, just stop. Get over the addiction you think you may have and get healthy. You are not the only people that has shit to deal with and if you need help, get it.

[theOperaGhost]

How the hell can you judge what they do if you haven't walked in their shoes?

I'm judged by people who haven't walked in my shoes all the time. Every single person who walks this planet is judged by every other person that comes in contact with them. People judge people...you included. Deal with it, because people are going to judge you and everyone else much more harshly than I have. You also have no idea what kind of experiences I have in life, so where do you get off saying that I have no idea what goes through people's heads? How the hell can you judge me when you haven't walked in my shoes?

[Kahn]

I can't say much, but I have stabbed myself before. God it hurt so bad. I agree Greg 100%. Terrible idea. I have the scar to remember it for... It is so embarrassing.. I have to make up an excuse that I fell on a rock while I was hiking.. I feel so stupid...

[INFERNO]

In regards to the self-harming, it most certainly is a maladaptive coping mechanism even if it works for just a short amount of time. I do think it's a rather poor and pathetic way to cope but it doesn't make the person overall a pathetic person. As one of my professors for a few courses in psychology said, the person isn't their disorder. So although what they may be doing is a pathetic and poor coping mechanism, it doesn't make the person a pathetic person, although our judgments of people don't always work as such.

I don't think playing into the game of providing pity over and over and over again, and sugar-coating every word is helpful simply because the person is in a state of distress. The person may be down-right depressed but they're also stuck in the thought that for whatever reason, the self-harming will help. There's a time for pity and sugar-coating, and there's a time for pulling up your socks and giving yourself a slap in the face as a wake-up call that cutting isn't doing any good. When people are unable to do this, then it's time for someone else who cares for the well-being of the person to do so but to do so with the goal in mind of helping them, not to belittle them.

If I see a friend, acquintance, comrade or whatever you want to call it in distress and their method of coping is cutting or doing some other form of self-harm, then I will help. However, if after giving help both by sympathy and by being blunt, and the person refuses, then I weigh the option of continuing in my attempts or getting someone else to assist. The reason of all this is I value my friendships as even if I know someone for a long time, that doesn't make them my friend even if I can get along with them. Whether or not they would do the same for me I don't know but I don't really care because pondering over that goes nowhere for both my friend and for myself.




How the hell can you judge what they do if you haven't walked in their shoes?

Everyone judges everyone, even if they don't know the person so this is a null point.

All forms of abuse are not something you can fix yourself-you need therapy and all sorts of things.

Not true. While getting therapy can help one "fix" themselves, it's not necessarily something that is required. For PTSD, Lt.-Gen. Romeo Dallaire (sp?) accounted his experiences where he witnessed the troops under his command as they were all being tortured and killed in front of him. Does he need therapy to get over what he experienced? No. However, it can help. Does a rape victim need therapy to help them? No, however, it can help.

Your statement would be true if those who have suffered any form of abuse are suddenly inept and incapable of contemplating a way to resolve the issues they have and deal with their experiences. Fortunately, that is not true for everyone.


Cutting most people a boost of adrenaline when they do it, so it helps temporarily. That's why a person that self harms will end up doing it more and more, making the cuts worse. After a while, they won't give a damn about getting help-it's exactly like drug use.

Correct conclusion, incorrect reason. While adrenaline and noradrenaline are released, there are also endorphins, enkalphins, dynorphins, dopamine, serotonin, etc... that are released. The endogenous opiates, namely the endorphins, enkalphins and dynorphins produce the sense of pleasure from the self-inflicted wound. There are also various other biochemicals involved but those are the main ones.

[theOperaGhost]

In regards to the self-harming, it most certainly is a maladaptive coping mechanism even if it works for just a short amount of time. I do think it's a rather poor and pathetic way to cope but it doesn't make the person overall a pathetic person. As one of my professors for a few courses in psychology said, the person isn't their disorder. So although what they may be doing is a pathetic and poor coping mechanism, it doesn't make the person a pathetic person, although our judgments of people don't always work as such.

I don't think playing into the game of providing pity over and over and over again, and sugar-coating every word is helpful simply because the person is in a state of distress. The person may be down-right depressed but they're also stuck in the thought that for whatever reason, the self-harming will help. There's a time for pity and sugar-coating, and there's a time for pulling up your socks and giving yourself a slap in the face as a wake-up call that cutting isn't doing any good. When people are unable to do this, then it's time for someone else who cares for the well-being of the person to do so but to do so with the goal in mind of helping them, not to belittle them.

If I see a friend, acquintance, comrade or whatever you want to call it in distress and their method of coping is cutting or doing some other form of self-harm, then I will help. However, if after giving help both by sympathy and by being blunt, and the person refuses, then I weigh the option of continuing in my attempts or getting someone else to assist. The reason of all this is I value my friendships as even if I know someone for a long time, that doesn't make them my friend even if I can get along with them. Whether or not they would do the same for me I don't know but I don't really care because pondering over that goes nowhere for both my friend and for myself.





Everyone judges everyone, even if they don't know the person so this is a null point.



Not true. While getting therapy can help one "fix" themselves, it's not necessarily something that is required. For PTSD, Lt.-Gen. Romeo Dallaire (sp?) accounted his experiences where he witnessed the troops under his command as they were all being tortured and killed in front of him. Does he need therapy to get over what he experienced? No. However, it can help. Does a rape victim need therapy to help them? No, however, it can help.

Your statement would be true if those who have suffered any form of abuse are suddenly inept and incapable of contemplating a way to resolve the issues they have and deal with their experiences. Fortunately, that is not true for everyone.



Correct conclusion, incorrect reason. While adrenaline and noradrenaline are released, there are also endorphins, enkalphins, dynorphins, dopamine, serotonin, etc... that are released. The endogenous opiates, namely the endorphins, enkalphins and dynorphins produce the sense of pleasure from the self-inflicted wound. There are also various other biochemicals involved but those are the main ones.

Great post...Rep +

[Rebecca L Vaughn]

I agree.

[Mental]

I don't think self-harmers are pathetic, sad, waste of spaces, etc.
I agree with the people who say it's a crap coping mechanism, and there are much better ways to tackle your problem, those that are less harmless and have little-no bad side effects.

BUT. It is a coping mechanism, still, and yes it has saved lives, indirectly. As long as nobody is in great danger to their lives/wellbeing and the cutting doesn't leave scars, then why is it such a big deal? This is focused mainly on the people who say it's such a bad thing.

As for brutal honesty about it. Yeah, that doesn't help everyone. If someone's feeling shit about themselves to such a low point, why make them feel that way even worse by calling them an idiot, retard, etc? Honesty is one thing, but you do need to mind what you say to certain people. Surely you can express your opinion honestly without resorting to calling them names or swearing? If you feel that strongly, then you should not bother saying anything at all.

I'm a former self-harmer, and I would never go back to it. But I did it in very irrational mindstates, and no not for attention. I hate that statement. If I did it for attention, I wouldn't have worn gloves and long-sleeves that summer to cover it. I see self-harming a habit/addiction, much like drinking alcohol or taking drugs. They're coping mechanisms for some people, with longterm bad effects, but it works for that particular moment and mindframe of the person. Simple as that.