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View Full Version : Ending a friendship...


Art_dude
December 30th, 2009, 06:52 PM
The title says it all.

I'm in an extremely tough situation with a current friend. Her name is Serena and I've known her for almost 3 years. We met freshman year in high school and we became very close. WE actually didn't have much in common but it was one of those serendipitous friendships that unexpectedly happened where 'opposites attracted.' At the end of my freshman year I decided to leave the private school we attended together. I'm not going to get into the drama of what happened (it had nothing to do with my friend - it was personal and I left for several reasons) anyway the bottom line is that I left and she wanted to remain friends.

I wanted to remain friends as well, but after a long summer and completing my first year of homeschooling, I had a lot of time to think. I learned a shit load about myself, and matured a lot. And the more I saw Serena the more I realized how much I changed, and how much she hadn't. It was nothing personal, it was just that I noticed I had grown a lot and she was still very 'young' Serena was always verrrry nerdy and verrry young. She's an only child and has had a very sheltered life - I'm not going to get into the details but let's just say she's never been allowed to wear makeup let alone leave her house. She is extremely smart but she acts very young for her age, you know what I mean? I was aware of this when we were in school together but for some reason it didn't really matter much. However now that I wasn't in that environment anymore I was acutely aware of her age and all her other idiosyncrasies.

I GIVE and I NEVER get anything in return. This is always how my friendships have been and I'm sick of it. I'm always the one to pick her up when she's upset. I'm also the one who listens to her go on and on about stupid crap that is irrelevant to even herself. And then when I open my mouth to say anything worth mentioning (gee like PHILOSOPHY or ART, or POLITICS, GOING TO A FUCKING PARTY AND GETTING SHIT FACED) lol she looks at me with a blank face and doesn't even listen. Or when she does she has no idea what to say - I don't even blame her: I've had a relatively normal upbrining. She hasn't. It's literally like talking to a kid.

I love her to death (as a friend) and I will always cherish our friendship but I can't deal with her anymore. I've been trying to slowly distance myself but she keeps clinging to me because I'm really the only friend she's ever had. I feel absolutely terrible about wanting to break off all of my ties with her because I know I'm all she has, but she is preventing me from doing things I want to do. If she doesn't want to have a life that's fine, but I won't let her bring me down with her :/ Any suggestions on how to go about ending this?

BuryYourFlame
December 30th, 2009, 07:04 PM
Maybe try talking to her about the situation before you decide to cut things off? She might be willing to change if it means keeping you as a friend.

Art_dude
December 30th, 2009, 07:11 PM
I have talked to her about this multiple times. Trust me I've tried fighting for this friendship (even though I didn't want to) and she made no effort whatsoever. The bottom line is that I have nothing in common with her anymore and it's time for me to move on. My question isn't about how to salvage my friendship - I think it's pretty clear it's over. My question is if anyone has tips on how to go about telling her. Thank you though for your help though :) Any advice is greatly appreciated.

KaelKaos
December 31st, 2009, 01:19 AM
You're in a really tough situation here, and I know you know that. And no matter how you break the news to Serena she'll most likely react badly. And since you're her only friend, she'll have no where to go if you break of all ties. But it's for the better. It might be hard, but I think you need to tell Serena what you told us here.

Art_dude
December 31st, 2009, 11:41 AM
Thanks Sauros. I guess I naively thought that I could conjure up a way to tell her without crushing her but like you said she will be very upset no matter how I break it to her. Thank you for your help :)

Ballin2much
December 31st, 2009, 09:08 PM
that happned to me to, lol, my friens are all frieking stupied, so i just dont hang out with them anymore

KaelKaos
December 31st, 2009, 09:33 PM
Thanks Sauros. I guess I naively thought that I could conjure up a way to tell her without crushing her but like you said she will be very upset no matter how I break it to her. Thank you for your help :)

No problem. :)

Also if you don't mind I'd like to know how it goes if you decide to do that.