Really the meaning of confused :(

[Lord C]

Right, I'll give my story short and sweet. I like both guys and girls. Maybe guys a bit more. But I've only ever gone out with girls because I haven't come out or admitted my feelings to anyone. Before I've just been fine the way it is, not telling anybody that I had those feelings about boys and just going out with girls, that was fine. But more recently, I've matured and I want a proper relationship that will make me happiest and there are two guys that I'm friends with that I like and there's a possibility that either of them are gay. But anyway, that's not what it's about. The problem is that I don't want to have feelings like this. I'd prefer to just have feelings for girls. But the main problem is that I don't have as strong feelings for guys as I did before, but I'm not crazy about going out with a girl either. It feels like (and it's not the case yet) that my sexual feelings could just disappear because of the pattern that I've felt in the last few months. And of course I don't want that. I think the main cause of this is that I have stronger feelings towards guys but don't want to because I'm Christian and feel that's not what my religion stands for. Any advice or further analysis would be appreciated.

[nick]

Wow, where to start?

First of all I think you need to take a step back from the Christian thing, first work our what you think your sexuality is and then you will have to decide how that squares with your religion. I am a bi Christian too btw.

Secondly we dont get to choose our sexuality. So its not a lot of use saying "I dont want to have feelings like this", either you have those feelings or you dont. You really need to come to terms with that.

You seem to suggest that your sexual feelings might change depending upon experience. I can relate to that. If you want to talk to me about it more I would be happy to do that, pm me for my msn and/or skype details

[Lord C]

Thanks Nick. I think it might be just because I've been fine with everything for so long that a bit of change in feelings is strange.

[ktkurbst0mp]

Lord C, I'm Christian too. And I've come to find out that I'm gay. And I've been living with that for a while.
PM me if you need to.

But really, everyone always focuses on saying that God hates gay people and everything.
But truthfully, the entire bible is filled with God loving everyone.
So, from that stand point, don't worry.

On the other hand, don't be afraid to try it. Like you, I tried to date people of the opposite sex for a while. And it never really worked, because as much as I tried to hide it because I thought it was wrong, I still had underlying feelings for other girls. But truthfully, once I dated a girl, I realized the reason why I was so unhappy in those other relationships was because I was lying to myself about who I really was.

And regardless, God still loves me.
I'm actually going to be checking out a christian, accepting, church.
As in, one that loves, accepts, and welcomes gay people.
PM me if you would like any resources on how to find a church such as that, or any resources on Christians who are also gay. Because I have some.
But I'd like to thank you for being honest, and coming out with that, because I know as a Christian that's really hard to do.

<3 Everything will be okay.

[nick]

But truthfully, the entire bible is filled with God loving everyone.
So, from that stand point, don't worry.

Absolutley. If you are christian go by the teachings of christ, not the homophobic ramblings of priests from St Paul onwards.

[Krazymitch]

well i was very much the same, im christian and i was brought up that way, i was scared and worried that no1 would accept me because im gay and christian. but when i finaly came out everyone supported it, because they all knew who ME was, so they said we still love you, they basically put aside their religion because they didnt care i am gay, i am still welcome in the church, but anyways my point is that they may not 'reject' you for it. its just one of those things where you dont really know what will happen till it does...good luck, hope it helped

[lysiaboy]

lord C, my simple advice to you is not to see what everyone else thinks, but to trust your heart.



adding to my rep would be appriciated !