Help... Please

[Kahn]

Deleted for personal reasons.

[nick]

Adam, that post could not have been written by a disgusting, illiterate child and I'm sure that there's not a single person here that would think of you in those terms. I know what a lot of shit you've had to deal with lately. I've been through a family breakup myself but luckily my parents have been a bit less selfish about it than your dad seems to be, although I dont really have anything to do with my mum out of choice now.

Do you have access to a professional counsellor, it sounds like that would be a good idea for you right now. If you want someone to talk to or just let stuff out to you can always try me.

Think too about what your grandfather would want you to do. I'm sure he would be touched that you are so upset, but would want you to get on with your own life, there's so much left to come and to enjoy.

Best wishes

[Harley Quinn]

Well.. As some of you know my grandfather has passed away recently. Ever since then I have been sad or down lately.. But my whole mid-set of myself, the world, and people is just turning.. Ill. I am much more quiet than I was before, leading people to believe I am emo or cut myself. I don't. With this it is making me ever more depressed. I am beginning to see myself as a completely different person. I look at myself and think of what a disgusting, illiterate child I am. I am criticizing myself. And for what? To make myself feel worse.

At nights I fall into spiraling depression sobbing for at least an hour. I lose track of time. Than when I wake up I feel like I want to hit someone. I have lost complete interest in the world around me. Usually I watch the weekly White House Address but now I sit in my room and stare at the ceiling.

My father called and told me there wasn't going to be a funeral. Well I just received a text from my second eldest brother saying the had just gotten home from the funeral. Which means I missed it. I missed my Grandfathers funeral.. What the hell...

I got suspended from school for 3 days. I don't want to get into the details with that...

I don't only seek help.. But I seek others with my experiences. I am scared. I am constantly thinking of Suicide right now. Contemplating it is just a different level. I am seriously thinking of attempting it.. I just don't want to. I know I don't want to. It's just fucking stuck in my head...

Firstly, no one thinks you're disgusting, illiterate child, so you really shouldn't. Your dad might not of told you because i don't think he would want to make you feel any worse seeing your granddad being buried. You wake you feeling angry because you miss him. When someone dies we instantly feel like that, depressed, sad, alone, ect. Suicide isn't the answer trust me on that. The thought are there for you but you can defeat them, try to distract yourself and try to meditate, as stupid as that sounds it really does help.