Understanding teens as an adult?

[Muffins]

OK I haven't been on VT in what seems like forever :whoops:

So I thought I would "Come back with a bang" :P

Here's a theory/method that I'm considering doing.

We all know how bloody annoying parents are, Its like they were never teens themselves so in my frustration I thought hmmm... What if I become a parent one day (not any time soon I'm talking at least 8+ years :P) and my kid grows into a teenager and I've completely forgotten what it's like to be a teenager so I won't understand my teens feelings and it'll continue the freakin' cycle that is parents not understanding their teens. So I've been thinking what if I do sort of a diary to write down stuff that's bothering me so that when I have my own teenager I can see what was important to me now, and what might be bothering my teen. For me its my parents being idiots, and pretty much telling me nothing about sex which I had to learn from other sources. :(

And like I've said in some other topics I will try and be a great parent if that day ever comes and I just want the best for my kid.

(Obviously not fool-proof but still... an idea)

Any comments/suggestions/pointing out flaws are welcome. :)

[2D]

I'm pretty sure that the cycle is still in place for a reason. It works. We hate our parents until we're older. For me, older is 16. For most it's early-mid twenties. (I'm just spit balling based on observation) It just takes time, raising a teenager is a constant struggle until they see the parents side. I've often thought why parent always tell their kids to do things such as "don't forget to wash behind your ears" and wondered why. Then when I'm showering I hear my moms voice in my head and remember to do that. Otherwise I would have overlooked it. Things we (teenagers) perceive as stupid aren't, they're common things for parents to repeat to us because they have to. It's all part of that cycle. And I think it's a good one.

[theOperaGhost]

It's not like they forgot what it's like to be a teenager...times change. Obviously things were different back in the 60s when my parents were teens...how the hell can you expect them to understand what it's like to be a teen now days? In 20 years (or more) whenever I have a teenage kid, things will be different from how they are now. I won't understand what they are going through. Time changes everything...

BTW, Jeff...amazing post...again...

[CairAndros]

I semi agree with your theory. Writing things down is a good idea so as to be a reference guide for when you have a teenager. I also that that you should attempt to emulate your parents when you have a teenager to the point of constantly telling them important things i.e. remember to brush your teeth, tidy your room to a decent extent etc. As this will allow your teenager to learn important things and then impart them onto their kids etc. But another thing that must be kept in mind is that your experiences will mostly be outdatd by the time you have kids due to the sheer rate at which technology is advancing. By this I mean that when you have a teenager there might be(most probably will be) a type of technology that you have not experienced in your youth and as such cannot relate; much like most parents are with some forms of technology today i.e. my mum and computers.


Overall, I do think it is a good idea and wish you luck on filling the diary of events.

[haibekah]

In all honesty, this is why i think adults should have children when they're young. like.. 20ish. i know a lot of people aren't ready for that kind of commitment at such a young age, but in reality, it would make understanding and relating to your children easier. if you have children young, or relatively young, it'll be easier to remember how you, yourself, felt when you were in their shoes. I'm not just saying this because i'm a teen mom, i'm saying this because it's what i 100% believe. i know not everyone will agree/understand, but it's my opinion, right? i just think that if parents sat down and thought, seriously, about how their children feel, and how they may have felt in a similar circumstance (at their age) and related it would make communication a lot easier.

[Jean Poutine]

Parents understand you just fine, moreso than you think.

Parents are like that because 99% of the time, you'll be whining about some inconsequential drama queen story and when they don't pay any heed to your sad teenage business, you will then whine about how older people can't understand your angsty troubled ways.

There are some lessons in life that everyone goes through. It's no use bitching about them, and parents know this. They were born before you and they know better than you because they have lived longer than you. They have lived a hundred times over everything that you go through. They know that most of teenager problems are not worth pondering upon.

When you get older and realise that your parents are better than you at life, you'll realise that by not paying any heed to some of your problems, that you have gained understanding that you could not have gained with their intervention. How are you people ever going to learn to cope by yourself if you try to hide under your mother's skirt at the slightest problem?

In other words, as my mom often told me, "suck it up princess everyone goes through this". This is, by far, the most useful thing I have ever learned in life, and I love my mother for it.

[theOperaGhost]

Parents understand you just fine, moreso than you think.

Parents are like that because 99% of the time, you'll be whining about some inconsequential drama queen story and when they don't pay any heed to your sad teenage business, you will then whine about how older people can't understand your angsty troubled ways.

There are some lessons in life that everyone goes through. It's no use bitching about them, and parents know this. They were born before you and they know better than you because they have lived longer than you. They have lived a hundred times over everything that you go through. They know that most of teenager problems are not worth pondering upon.

When you get older and realise that your parents are better than you at life, you'll realise that by not paying any heed to some of your problems, that you have gained understanding that you could not have gained with their intervention. How are you people ever going to learn to cope by yourself if you try to hide under your mother's skirt at the slightest problem?

In other words, as my mom often told me, "suck it up princess everyone goes through this". This is, by far, the most useful thing I have ever learned in life, and I love my mother for it.

Amazing post!