Best Chuck Norris Jokes

[constance]

Post your favorite(s) and we'll see which is the best
here's mine

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, it breaks because it is smart enough to know not to get in the middle of Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris

A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can beat Halo 3 on Legendary with a guitar hero controller

[Maverick]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

[DarkWingedAngel]

Chuck Norris's dick is so big that his own dick has a dick that's bigger than yours.
haha got that one from a friend


If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

[CanadaRocksEH]

lol Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did

Chuck Norris was walking through the woods looking for hippy's to use as firewood when a wild boar crossed his path.....BIG MISTAKE! Chuck lifted the boar with his mind and digested it telepathically, and he wasnt even hungry.

[Aves]

Jesus may have walked on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.

[diamond jetstream]

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such th ing as protection from chuck norris.


2. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

3. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.



4. When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.



5. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

6. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.




7. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.


8. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.



9. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.




10. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.


11. there are two kinds of people in this world.people who suck and chuck norris


12. when chuck norris goes to sleep his alarm clock unplugs itself so it doesnt have to wake chuck norris up.