Angel In The Snow

[TigerLily]

I took the midnight train bound for nowhere
Funny how the conductor knew my name
I gave him a penny and he gave me a ticket
He told me I was second-class
But I can hardly complain
Fair exchange is no robbery

It was snowing on the mountains
I exhaled just to watch the dance
Frosting over the window like a ghost
I made my signature in the glass
I wondered if I’d ever be famous
Before my next breath suffocated the dream
And like my footsteps buried in the snow
I had left no trace of my presence
It seemed poignant at the time

The wind howled and the skeletal silhouettes
They just swayed with a serenity
I could not for the death of me possess
I had reached the final station, and as I walked along
It felt like it should have been in black and white
Like an old film, where they chase the train and
White scarves fly in the wind but no one cares and
Nobody leaves alone
But my bleeding lip told me we were in colour
And its warm taste told me this wasn’t cinematic
So I tiptoed the silver track tightropes
And made an angel in the snow

[Aspiringanonymous]

This reminds me a great deal of a short story (http://www.readprint.com/work-2683/Paul-s-Case-Willa-Cather) I had recently studied in English class.

Once again, brilliant.

[Triceratops]

I love this.
So imaginative, I can almost picture myself at the scene. :)

[TigerLily]

Thanks Maya and Marcie :)
It's about someone coming suicide by walking into an oncoming train, if that wasn't clear. I don't know why I write all these dark poems, but they seem to be the only ones that turn out they way I like =/ so heyho :P

[Triceratops]

The first paragraph does make that clear, so don't worry about that.
I know exactly what you mean about the whole dark and sinister theme, I'm only happy with the work I do if it's all doom and gloom - I just think the style itself has quite a sharp effect, and IMO there are more interesting uses of personification, metaphors and words available for the style...if any of that actually makes sense!

[TigerLily]

Yeah, it makes sense, agree completely :)
I love this style of writing though... Idk, I've just always felt like the some of the most beautiful poems are the hauntingly beautiful, they just seem to leave a deeper effect on the reader, or at least they do for me.
And yeah, I thought it was clear enough, but I might as well point it out anyway, there's sure to be some people who'd miss the point :P It all depends on interpretation, and all that. I do like using a degree of subtlety sometimes though (:

[Triceratops]

Agreed.
You and I have exactly the same taste, the eerily beautiful pieces of literature are the most powerful tbh.

Yeah, there's always bound to be someone sitting at home thinking "Eh?" and completely doesn't understand anything a little bit more abstract than usual, but oh well. :P
Although it's best not to make the poem totally obvious because that will spoil it.

Anyways, back on topic, I do think your poem is wonderfully epic and stunning. (:

[nick]

awesome, although I was too thick to work out the subject for myself!

[TigerLily]

Shuddup Nick, you know long words like 'demonize'
Okay, that really isn't a long word, but you're still not thick! xD :P

[Appleton]

This was really good. :)