I need help, I think.

[JakeBrizzlow]

Ever since I was 3 I have been bullied, all the way up to the age of 15, now (17) I live a life without any friends what so ever (girls are so non-existent that I don't even need to mention them, I haven't spoken to one for about 5 years, I am not exaggerating).. I am extremely shy and I am starting to develop social phobia, what was making me better was Graffiti (started tagging walls with crayons from school @ age 9, and it took off from there), getting some attention and all that.. but I got busted at age 16 and had to pay a, to say the least, high price.. and continuing doing what I did would only make shit worse, even though Graffiti actually helped my self-esteem alot I can't continue because the price to pay is too much, I think anyways.

Nowadays I just sit at home and do.. nothing, not a damn thing at all, I used to have 2 friends, but they both deserted me,
The mere thought of me having a social life is, for me, very far from reality.

What I am wondering is if I don't change my situation now, could I end up as a loner, not having a single friend my entire life? (I know I pretty much am one now, but I sure as hell don't want to be one, I'm just too much of a pussy to interact with people)

I admit to feeling stupid for posting this question on this forum, but I am simply out of options.

[ChaoticHarmony]

im sorry ur in that situation....sounds kinda sucky.
my advice is to face your phobia one step at a time. a place like this is a good way to start. start by makin friends on here and opening up. you can then continue by goin to a club/bar, park, YMCA even. join a club or something that kinda forces you to interact with ppl, especially one that interests you cause then u'll find ppl that like what u like.
the temptation to leave or stay by urself will be big, i know, but u gotta do it. like you said you dont wanna be a loner for the rest of your life.
obtw, u shouldnt feel stupid. thats why we are here!:D

good luck n i hope it all works out for the better. if you need more help or suggestions feel free to pm me. always happy to help :)

[AncientCatastrophe]

How about your relatives, you do get along well right?
Don't worry your still 17 there are still many things that you can do, and don't do stuff that your only by yourself, your just trying to escape and with that you will make your phobia worse.
To prevent that interact with people, start in this forums and join clubs or visit parks, events or occassions.
I'm sure you'll find a friend, a true friend who's always there for you and will never leave you alone.......It takes time to find a friend that suits well for you.
:violin::whip:

[My_Toes_Are_Cold]

That does suck balls, my friend, but I had many worries myself when I was a younger lad that do not stray far from yours.

I still suck with women and I'm in college; they will always seem distant and alien to us until we see one true human in the light, and it becomes clear to us who women are.

As for your social phobia? That's easily fixable. Just go up to people and start talking. Find some common ground. Or, find common ground in a social group, be a listener, and soon begin commenting. 90% of the friends I have now began simply as people I randomly talked to and become close friends with.

Remember that fear is just what our mind tells us is going to hurt us; but our heart and soul is what pushes us forward to complete incredible tasks. Heroes aren't heroes because they are fearless; heroes are heroes because they faced their fears and overcame it. You simply have to be open to the fact that maybe people are interested in knowing you.

I suggest joining a school club! And remember to network and be loyal.