suture11
December 6th, 2009, 09:12 PM
So, I am a schizophrenic. I have been for ten years, plus or minus. I am delusional and paranoid schizophrenic. I know this may sound like it should be in the Schiz forum, but I am having a melt down.
I haven't been on meds for almost a year. That was, up until last week. I was given Seroquel by my Psych. He said it would help with my anxiety, and help me sleep. I am also insomniac. It worked. With sleeping that is. It also made me somewhat hyper and really calm at the same time. I know, I know, that shouldn't make sense, but it does.
I hallucinate A LOT. Visually, auditory, etc... Well I talk to gargoyles. They are pretty cool. They keep me calm in my room. That way I am not too alone.
So here is my crisis. I was with a friend last night when we dropped another off. I was standing in her kitchen and I saw a dead lady crawling across the floor. I simply laughed and explained to them what I saw. They both know me well and understand. Well the girl we were dropping off said, "Can I kick it in the face?". I said go ahead. She did, and the face like stuck to her shoe like gum. She pulled her foot away and the face matter stuck to her shoe and snapped on to it as she pulled further away. I was watching it even more, it slowly turned its head to me and jumped up into my face. I screamed and tripped backwards crawling into a ball. I really freaked out this time. I was in shock for about an hour after that.
I continued to hallucinate the rest of the night. Hearing random chatters and whispers. When I fell asleep to my meds, I dreamed about watching the dead lady give birth. She birthed two contorted children who continuously followed me.
So I am really losing it right now. I am really spazzing. I have SM'ed and wrote, but I can't seem to shake this. I am ready to well, finish this. I am really just ranting, but comments are always nice. ^^
I haven't been on meds for almost a year. That was, up until last week. I was given Seroquel by my Psych. He said it would help with my anxiety, and help me sleep. I am also insomniac. It worked. With sleeping that is. It also made me somewhat hyper and really calm at the same time. I know, I know, that shouldn't make sense, but it does.
I hallucinate A LOT. Visually, auditory, etc... Well I talk to gargoyles. They are pretty cool. They keep me calm in my room. That way I am not too alone.
So here is my crisis. I was with a friend last night when we dropped another off. I was standing in her kitchen and I saw a dead lady crawling across the floor. I simply laughed and explained to them what I saw. They both know me well and understand. Well the girl we were dropping off said, "Can I kick it in the face?". I said go ahead. She did, and the face like stuck to her shoe like gum. She pulled her foot away and the face matter stuck to her shoe and snapped on to it as she pulled further away. I was watching it even more, it slowly turned its head to me and jumped up into my face. I screamed and tripped backwards crawling into a ball. I really freaked out this time. I was in shock for about an hour after that.
I continued to hallucinate the rest of the night. Hearing random chatters and whispers. When I fell asleep to my meds, I dreamed about watching the dead lady give birth. She birthed two contorted children who continuously followed me.
So I am really losing it right now. I am really spazzing. I have SM'ed and wrote, but I can't seem to shake this. I am ready to well, finish this. I am really just ranting, but comments are always nice. ^^