Beating myself up about this...

[jjmcray]

Ok well I haven't been on here in a while so I guess I should start off by saying hello everybody long time no see!

I've got multiple problems.

My ex and I broke up almost a year ago... She dumped me. However, I'm over it now and have been for a while. I no longer have any feelings for her and we're not playing the "friends" game. We really haven't talked at all since we broke up. Anyway, I've went on some dates and had some fun with other girls since then (nothing serious though). However, to this day I am still beating myself up about all the stupid stuff I did for her... Like selling one of my guitars to buy her an iPod (at least she gave it back, but I made her), and staying up into the late hours of the night talking to her on the phone about basically nothing, they were just meaningless conversations. This would cut in to my sleep time and study/homework time, so I started doing bad in my classes, etc...
But anyway, I'm still beating myself up (not physically, of course, just more of a *facepalm*) about how stupid I was to do all this for her and then just have her cheat on me and leave me for some other guy that had cheated on her several times before.

Does it seem like I'm still not over her (I'm pretty sure I am...)? How do I stop beating myself up about this?

Next...
The above mentioned ex of mine has been sending me love letters and stuff and she keeps trying to talk to me and butt into my conversations. She's also telling all her friends (which are also my friends) about how she really wants me back in her life, blah blah blah.
I'm not trying to sound like a hardass or anything, but I really don't like this girl like that. I have no feelings for her and I do not wish to even be friends with her. Personally, I think being friends with your exes just makes you look insecure. After receiving all her letters and stuff, I have personally told her that I do not wish to be friends with her, let alone date her again. Then she just says something along the lines of "Okay, well I'm still going to try and be nice to you and see where it goes from there... blah blah blah"

But I guess what I'm trying to say here is, how do I politely get her to leave me alone, without sounding like an asshole?

Next...
It has come to my attention that one of my best friends has become attracted to my ex. I know that my ex no longer "belongs" to me or whatever, and I do not have any feelings for her. However, hasn't my friend ever heard of "bro code"? Is it wrong that I feel slightly offended by him trying to go after my ex? I don't know how to talk to him about this.

And finally.....
There's this girl I was interested in and a few people know that I liked her. I'm fairly certain that she knows that I liked her, but she made it clear that she doesn't like me like that and doesn't want to date anyone at the moment.
I played it off and said I didn't want to date anyone either and I apologized for coming off like that.
Since then she has been flirting with me, texting me at random times of the day... I wake up, and I have unread texts from her, I get out of class, check my phone, and I've got like 300 messages from her... so on and so on... It's getting rather annoying and has brought me to the realization that I couldn't possibly date someone like her. On Thanksgiving, she sent me a text saying "Happy Thanksgiving loveee, have a nice day and be happy! :)" or something along those lines... Wtf is that supposed to mean? "Loveee" ???

Anywho... I'm pretty sure I don't like this girl anymore, so how do I politely get her to stop annoying me? She's always texting me and following me around school and stuff. I really don't want to come off as an asshole though, and it would be cool if we could just be friends.

Don't get me wrong though... I love the ladies and respect them as equal beings, and I don't mean to come off as a "player" or a "badass" or something, rejecting girls left and right, but this is seriously getting to a point where it is interfering with my daily routines and stuff.

[meygan]

wow that took me a long time to read :p

anyways, your ex, she cheated right? and theres no excuse for that so she shouldn't even EXPECT you to get back with her let alone still like her. Plus she dumped you for some guy, and that must have hurt and hurt takes a long time to get over, so she cant expect you to just drop it like that and forget. You've just gotta explain this to her , don't be nasty but don't be super nice either or she might take it the wrong way.

As for this other girl, girls tend to get obsessive about guys sometimes but trust me, it does pass. And, this girl has done nothing to hurt you and is only being (overwhelmingly) nice so don't be too harsh. Easiest way i'd say is to show interest in another girl, do you like any other girl?? and then she should back off a little. You never know, you could become good friends :)

ok hope that helped..

[meygan]

and as for the beating yourself up over the "silly" things you did, don't worry about it. Just accept that at that point in time you were in love with her and those things felt RIGHT. and you were happy. dont regret anything and just enjoy the present and the future /

[jjmcray]

Thanks for the advice.. definitely helped :)

What about my friend though that is attracted to my ex?

[Art_dude]

Ok well I haven't been on here in a while so I guess I should start off by saying hello everybody long time no see!

I've got multiple problems.

My ex and I broke up almost a year ago... She dumped me. However, I'm over it now and have been for a while. I no longer have any feelings for her and we're not playing the "friends" game. We really haven't talked at all since we broke up. Anyway, I've went on some dates and had some fun with other girls since then (nothing serious though). However, to this day I am still beating myself up about all the stupid stuff I did for her... Like selling one of my guitars to buy her an iPod (at least she gave it back, but I made her), and staying up into the late hours of the night talking to her on the phone about basically nothing, they were just meaningless conversations. This would cut in to my sleep time and study/homework time, so I started doing bad in my classes, etc...
But anyway, I'm still beating myself up (not physically, of course, just more of a *facepalm*) about how stupid I was to do all this for her and then just have her cheat on me and leave me for some other guy that had cheated on her several times before.

Does it seem like I'm still not over her (I'm pretty sure I am...)? How do I stop beating myself up about this?

Sorry that happened. Love (or teenage lust, for lack of a better term) does that to people. It sounds like you've moved on from her, but that doesn't necessarily mean you've moved on from the relationship. People don't realize that although you're no longer emotionally attached to someone, doesn't mean that you're no longer attached to the relationship. Any time you lose something, as a human, you morn that loss. Yea, breaking up was for the best, and it seems you've moved on, but you can't help but wonder how it all happened. Give yourself a break: it's our nature as humans to analyze the shit out of something to 'figure it out'.

"Next...
The above mentioned ex of mine has been sending me love letters and stuff and she keeps trying to talk to me and butt into my conversations. She's also telling all her friends (which are also my friends) about how she really wants me back in her life, blah blah blah.
I'm not trying to sound like a hardass or anything, but I really don't like this girl like that. I have no feelings for her and I do not wish to even be friends with her. Personally, I think being friends with your exes just makes you look insecure. After receiving all her letters and stuff, I have personally told her that I do not wish to be friends with her, let alone date her again. Then she just says something along the lines of "Okay, well I'm still going to try and be nice to you and see where it goes from there... blah blah blah"

But I guess what I'm trying to say here is, how do I politely get her to leave me alone, without sounding like an asshole? "

This girl needs to give it up. You've moved on and so should she. You've clearly made your intentions known: just continue to go about your daily business and she'll finally pick up the hint. If she doesn't, tell her AGAIN.


"Next...
It has come to my attention that one of my best friends has become attracted to my ex. I know that my ex no longer "belongs" to me or whatever, and I do not have any feelings for her. However, hasn't my friend ever heard of "bro code"? Is it wrong that I feel slightly offended by him trying to go after my ex? I don't know how to talk to him about this. "

If you've moved on then you shouldn't care. The "bro code" usually only applies when you are still missing your ex.

"And finally.....
There's this girl I was interested in and a few people know that I liked her. I'm fairly certain that she knows that I liked her, but she made it clear that she doesn't like me like that and doesn't want to date anyone at the moment.
I played it off and said I didn't want to date anyone either and I apologized for coming off like that.
Since then she has been flirting with me, texting me at random times of the day... I wake up, and I have unread texts from her, I get out of class, check my phone, and I've got like 300 messages from her... so on and so on... It's getting rather annoying and has brought me to the realization that I couldn't possibly date someone like her. On Thanksgiving, she sent me a text saying "Happy Thanksgiving loveee, have a nice day and be happy! :)" or something along those lines... Wtf is that supposed to mean? "Loveee" ???

Anywho... I'm pretty sure I don't like this girl anymore, so how do I politely get her to stop annoying me? She's always texting me and following me around school and stuff. I really don't want to come off as an asshole though, and it would be cool if we could just be friends.

Don't get me wrong though... I love the ladies and respect them as equal beings, and I don't mean to come off as a "player" or a "badass" or something, rejecting girls left and right, but this is seriously getting to a point where it is interfering with my daily routines and stuff."

None of what you're saying is coming across as a badass or a player. Just impatient XD I'd cut the girl a little slack, but if you're really bothered by random girls flirting with you (jeez your life sucks lol) then just politely let her down. It's not that hard. Something along the lines of, "you're really nice, but I'm not interested at the moment" will suffice.

[meygan]

Thanks for the advice.. definitely helped :)

What about my friend though that is attracted to my ex?

well that's just plain wrong, if he's a good friend he'll respect that she's a no-go zone.

[Misty.]

hmm...first thing first...u said u are over her..
tell something to ur self...are u actualy over her..?????????????
coz if u were..u wouldnt mind ur bestfrnd dating her..( i know its a little difficult but it shouldnt realy matter to u..)
and one rule..of life :if u hold something against a person..it shows u are giving importance to them..

and repenting over how much u did for ur ex..is right in a way..question is --> did u learn something??? answer==yes u did..!!!

dont repent over the spilled milk..instead now concentrate on ur studies..

and sweety..1) simple soultion could be changing ur mobile no.
2) or u could simply tell each of these girls..that they should be in their limits(to ur ex..tell u r simply not intrested so back off..!!! and to this other girl..tell her u r not intersted at all..n dont like cheesy sms n stuff..be frank..!! dont let them irritate u..huhh)[dono why i m geting sentimental here:confused:]
n relax honey :) ..
hope this helps u :)

[jjmcray]

hmm...first thing first...u said u are over her..
tell something to ur self...are u actualy over her..?????????????
coz if u were..u wouldnt mind ur bestfrnd dating her..( i know its a little difficult but it shouldnt realy matter to u..)

Well I understand it shouldn't really matter to me... but come on... I couldn't help but think of how awkward it would be if me, my friend, and my ex were hanging out or something...
I mean... would it be understandable if I didn't want to hang out with my friend as much if they started dating?

Oh and also I have changed my phone number twice already and she manages to get it from my friends... lol

[Misty.]

hmm...i see...the girl is actualy after ur life...u must be realy good..coz they are actualy managing to get hold of ur ph no. ...
umm...should i suggest u realy nasty.. -->> why dont u kinda go n tell some gossip columnist..how shes after ur life...and she wont take the hint how u r so not intrested..(i know i know its realy mean and nasty..but hey look..she might stop irritating u...!!! :D)
--> other way could be simply telling her time and again..not picking her calls..blocking her cell no. so that u dont recieve msgs/calls.. :) ...that way ull still be a gentle man :)

n about the other thing..that it would be odd for u to hang out with ur bestfriend since he might date her...but look at the brighter side..she would stop actualy hitting on u..[but in case u are jeloused...u would have a tough time dealing it..seeing her enjoying n all with ur bestfrnd..!!!:(]
n honestly sweety..in case ur best friend is too much into her..he wouldnt listen anyway...be it guys rule book or not.. :(

N if ur best friend is mature enough he would be intelligent enough not to irritate u with ur ex's talks..(who knows he hasnt acted till yet becoz he thinks he would actualy break the rule..u can be nice and may be tell him u over her..* i think ill piss u off with this one :P..so sowieee in advance :(*)

hope this helps :)

[itzyogrll]

And finally.....
There's this girl I was interested in and a few people know that I liked her. I'm fairly certain that she knows that I liked her, but she made it clear that she doesn't like me like that and doesn't want to date anyone at the moment.
I played it off and said I didn't want to date anyone either and I apologized for coming off like that.
Since then she has been flirting with me, texting me at random times of the day... I wake up, and I have unread texts from her, I get out of class, check my phone, and I've got like 300 messages from her... so on and so on... It's getting rather annoying and has brought me to the realization that I couldn't possibly date someone like her. On Thanksgiving, she sent me a text saying "Happy Thanksgiving loveee, have a nice day and be happy! :)" or something along those lines... Wtf is that supposed to mean? "Loveee" ???

Well, to be honest.. Some girls can be players and like attention. When you liked her she didn't want anny part with you but she was happy that you liked her bc it made her feel better about herself. But, once she got the slightest bit of doubt of you not liking her anymore she started to chase after you. Because you not liking her anymore would seem like she wasn't pretty or good enough for your attention anymore. (This usually happens with girls that have a low slef esteem or want all eyes on them) My advice don't even bother with her. Block her number, don't go near her, don't even look at her, Tell people how unintrested you are with her and she will evantually get the hint. You can't let her irrotate you bc in the future guilt will come upon you and you will end up doing something like going out with her even though you don't want to.. And, when spending alot of time with one person you develope a liking for them.. You'd fall for her then when you least expect it she'd break you and it'd be hard to repair the damage she'd put on... Don't let her do this.. You might come off as a jerk but, with things like this. YOU come first. Your heart is not and will never be a toy. It's a precious symbol of love that someone would be lucky to have. Hope i helped! :D Goodluck!


- Brianna. <3

[jjmcray]

^ Yes you did help and haha it sounds like you've gone through something like this before with all the detail :P

[itzyogrll]

Kindof. And, i know girls well lol. Glad i helped. =] Thanks for the rep too! Take care! God bless!