i've been feeling rather empty latley

[daveywavey]

im not trying to bitch and moan... well maybe a little bit i just need to write my thoughts out for a little bit i guess, as of latley my social life has been better then ever, my friend Morgan, who is also my dance partner is talking to me again, since i rejoined dance, thats cool i guess, theres this other girl jamie i have been seeing, that is cool to i guess, but latley even with some good friends around me i feel distant, i feel empty inside, i feel like im trapped inside myself and im just trying to burst out, it might have alot to do with the holiday season, not being with all my family in california, i miss them so much, its been just about over a year now since the divorce and the move to canada, for those of you who dont know me, my little sister and my dad and all my dads side of the family lives in california, and i moved to canada with my mom, guess the mommas boy in me couldnt see my mom go by herself, i left behind my best friend as well, that was hard.. not really hung up on that anymore, just trying to fill in blanks for people who havent seen me post before, i thought leaving virtualteen, a few weeks ago would help me reconnect, thought maybe i was spending to much time reading about people going through the exact same things i was, turns out i just got worse when that happend, not to mention i left behind a great friend on here, that only seems to be able to talk through VT, that was hard in itself, but to go back to what i was saying, ive been on a down hill sloap since the beginning of this month, i feel like i need to take a cold shower when this happens, just so i can feel something other then emptyness and sadness, i hate to post my problems up here, but it helps me when i get these thoughts out in my head, i guess im just having trouble finding myself, you know? probably the same thing most of you are going through too, life has its ups and downs i guess, and i am just at a low point,i miss my family like hell back home, was supposed to go visit california this christmas.. guess dads to busy with the company to see me this christmas, its killing me, its like i dont even exhist to him over here, out of site out of mind and i guess that stems my whole issue to begin with, sorry i guess this post did kind of result in me bitching, but hey i feel a little bit better already so ill settle tit for tat, thats really it for now thanks to all who listened


davey

[nick]

Being part of a split family is unpleasant and really rocks you, I know from experience. In my case we were just a few streets away, so it must be so much worse for you. Glad to see you still around Davey, have a *HUG*.

[daveywavey]

thanks nick, all i feel like doing is isolating myself gahh :(

[tyler27846]

im sorry dude it is hard to have a family spilt i know how it feels if you ever need to talk just pm me and its ok to tell people your problems it always helps

[Art_dude]

I'm sorry you're feeling down lately but.... I'm a little confused about what exactly you're feeling. I think you need to distinguish the difference between homesickness and sadness. Homesickness may trigger depression or feelings of sadness, but sadness in and of itself? that's pretty random. It very may well be that it's a random chemical imbalance. Can you elaborate more upon what you mean by 'emptiness'? Not to poke fun at your rough patch but I can't help but see the situation as ironic because in Buddhism, emptiness is a very important topic on the path to happiness.

[MacMilker]

i would say your expecting something greater than what your getting atm. your life seems to be a rollercoaster of ups and downs. you just have to be ready to take what your path has in store, even if it means not seeing your dad, ir winning the lotto (not a great example) im not sure but it looks like you are expecting to have a very happy christmas with your family, and be constantly laughing and having a good time with your friends, which would probably result in you having an empty feeling.

[Appleton]

Welcome back Davey. Sorry for all the shit your goin thru. Let me know if you need to talk.

[daveywavey]

i'll be fine thanks for all your nice things you guys said, just needed to rant more then anything, i feel better after i get my thoughts out lol, appreciate it all


davey :X