Tough situation

[palaxer94]

Aight so this is a really long story but yeahh:

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 9 months now and we started talking about sex about a month ago. We both said we felt we were ready and I kept asking her if she was really ready, you know because sex, especially the first time, is a huge deal. But she said she was ready!

But then her dad found out EVERYTHING, read all the records of what we've talked about. He was kinda cool about it, but he sat us down and told us straight up what he thought... it was kinda a therapy session because her dad kinda got it out of her that she wanted to have sex with me because she has abandonment issues... so she wanted us to do it so I wouldn't leave her.

The thing is, my girlfriend always talks about loving me forever, until the end of time, etc. But I'm not sure if I can stay in a relationship until, well, marriage! This is my first real one and I'm barely 15. I was just planning on talking to her about the way I feel (which would be hard enough) when the time came, which woulda been before we had sex, but now that her dad said all of this I don't want it to seem like this is coming just from that talk.

I also just don't wanna be that asshole that takes her virginity, then breaks up with her because I'm not feeling it. Thats heavy stuff, man.

If you are still reading this, any advice? Haha thanks

[TheKingDavis]

To me it sounds like you want to leave her because of the no sex

just my opinion

but why go out with someone that you cant imagine having a future with?

[Art_dude]

Her dad somehow intercepted your private discussions on sex with your girlfriend and confronted both of you? Wow.. boundary issues much?

My advice? If the only motivation for your girlfriend to have sex, is based on abandonment issues, then you need to realize she is NOT ready. If that is honestly the only reason she is willing, then you need to discuss with her why she has a fear of abandonment. I wouldn't think about sex until you both know she's confident that she's doing it out of mutual understanding and NOT out of fear.

Also, just because you don't see marriage in the future (duh, you'r 15 for fucks sake)
doesn't mean you can't 'commit.' You don't have to think about marriage to justify losing your virginity.

[2D]

Don't do it. Neither of you are ready. I was in almost the exact same position you are. Except now I'm that asshole. it's not worth it.

[IAMWILL]

I agree with Alex on a lot of things

She is an unstable person. If she is so worried about you letting her go, and you still want to stay with her, you need to really let her know that you aren't about to leave her because of sex or whatever reasons she may believe you have. If you are about to leave her because she is so unstable and you feel like she's just not right for you, let her down easy, and make sure you let her know that its only because you don't feel like the relationship is right, but she is perfect for someone else. People like this just need more attention and care.
Its your decision. Sweat it out or let her go.

[Ghoti]

Hear me out,

If you wait till marriage and you really love her then that night you have something special. Don't ruin it by sexing.

[cherry_boi]

if ur not ready to commit to someone for life ur not ready to have sex with them (imo)

in terms of a relationship

one night stands are a separate thing.....

[TheKingDavis]

if ur not ready to commit to someone for life ur not ready to have sex with them (imo)

in terms of a relationship

one night stands are a separate thing.....

To me, you need to see a lifetime with that person, and be ready toaccept the consequences if she were to get pregnant

[Sammi13]

If you don't love her, you don't need to have sex with her. It is a big deal and if you have sex then break up, she would probably react very badly. It's kind of the same with a lot of girls. They don't want to have sex with someone they love then find out later that they don't love them back.

[ROFLCOPTER]

To me it sounds like you want to leave her because of the no sex

just my opinion

but why go out with someone that you cant imagine having a future with?

how are you 16 you look like your fucking 12

[Quick_Sylver]

how are you 16 you look like your fucking 12

How is this related to the topic at hand?


I'm with 'IAMWILL'

[Art_dude]

To me, you need to see a lifetime with that person, and be ready toaccept the consequences if she were to get pregnant

Can you hear me back in the stone age? They want their morals back...

To the OP: Look kid, you don't have to see a future wedding with this girl to have sex with her. You're barely 16!! I wouldn't have sex until (like I previously stated) both of you feel ready, and she's doing it out of mutual love and understanding, NOT fear of abandonment. At 15, you're NOT SUPPOSED to see a big future with a wife, the kids, and house with the white picket fence...
Slow down a bit, and enjoy the present moment.

[Kale]

To me it sounds like you want to leave her because of the no sex

just my opinion

but why go out with someone that you cant imagine having a future with?

i wouldn't be giving relationship advice if that's you in your display picture.

also...


Aight so this is a really long story but yeahh:

So me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost 9 months now and we started talking about sex about a month ago. We both said we felt we were ready and I kept asking her if she was really ready, you know because sex, especially the first time, is a huge deal. But she said she was ready!

how could you be more wrong? sex is sex, it's a physical way of showing someone you care (sometimes) and is more emotional than cheap-ass I LOVE YOU SO MUCH's. virginity means shit in reality.


But then her dad found out EVERYTHING, read all the records of what we've talked about. He was kinda cool about it, but he sat us down and told us straight up what he thought... it was kinda a therapy session because her dad kinda got it out of her that she wanted to have sex with me because she has abandonment issues... so she wanted us to do it so I wouldn't leave her.

if the bitch don't fit, then don't wear it. kind of like a shoe. if she doesn't trust you after 9 months, there's a problem.

The thing is, my girlfriend always talks about loving me forever, until the end of time, etc. But I'm not sure if I can stay in a relationship until, well, marriage! This is my first real one and I'm barely 15. I was just planning on talking to her about the way I feel (which would be hard enough) when the time came, which woulda been before we had sex, but now that her dad said all of this I don't want it to seem like this is coming just from that talk.

every girl will do this. i've had dozens tell me that and i'm USUALLY just like "uh huh, you won't remember my name next month." well, in reality, you should STRAIGHT UP JUST TELL HER. grow some fucking balls and say "look honey, it's not that i don't love you, but i don't KNOW if i'm prepared for a commited relationship at the age of 15. maybe we COULD be together forever, i don't know the future, but in all honesty, you could change your mind in a second and so could i. i don't plan on it, but you know know what could happen."

also, make her realize that her dad is wrong or w/e you want. girls are pretty easy to talk to, just have to be honest and have logic. honesty = the best policy even in peeling potatos.

I also just don't wanna be that asshole that takes her virginity, then breaks up with her because I'm not feeling it. Thats heavy stuff, man.

yes, because she's going to remember you when she's 19 getting stuffed from the front and the back by two black guys. oh how will it hurt her.

it's maturity, she'll come around one day. just give her time.

If you are still reading this, any advice? Haha thanks

np br0

[IAMWILL]

how are you 16 you look like your fucking 12

Thats great, now stop bitching and stay on topic. If you have a problem, report it to a senior staff member or moderator.

Not trying to be super defensive, but no more attacking Dustin or this thread is locked.

Once again to everyone if you have a problem PM a staff member about it.

[Jordan...14]

you should enjoy it while it lasts, hold of on sex till your the legal age that way it gives you time to definately know if your ready or not. And who says in a few months your feelings won't change and maybe you will wanna have a long-term relationship, nobody knows whats gonna happen so just do what ya do, wait and see and enjoy it in the meantime