Curious and Concerned;

[ErykaInspire.]

Okay, so.
My boyfriend and I started having sex a few weeks ago. I just have a few questions.

1) The morning/day after having sex, my clitoris gets kind of swollen/VERY sensitive (kinda in a painful way) and I have to wear sweat/pajama pants because jeans hurt when I sit or bend. Should I be worried about that or is it normal?

2) We don't use a condom. Now... I know this is a great concern, and I'm stressing over it. But, he pulls out before either of us come/orgasm. Is there still a good possibility of me getting pregnant? Pregnancy is my greatest fear and I just need to know. So far we're lucky, as in I just got over my cycle.

3) Could I have my period and still be pregnant?

4) What are some ways to bring up "birth-control" with my mom? She told me when i'm ready I should go and talk to her.. but this was before I was in a relationship. Now, she's extremely over protective and is always telling us to be responsible and to not do anything. I want to bring it up but I'm worried that she'll make Dale and I stop seeing each other as much.

I appreciate it!

[Bougainvillea]

Uhh...

I wouldn't know because my clitoris has never done that. :P

But I've never heard of that happening. Maybe you guys just do it rough.

I don't know the third question.

The best way would to just confront her. It's not good to just keep that from her. Also, it's very important on your side as well. This is the time to tell her.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

1) It doesn't sound like anything you need to be super worried about. If he's rubbing up against it a lot while you're doing it, it's possible that that's just irritating it a little and causing the sensitivity. It's common for the clitoris to be swollen and sensitive after having an orgasm, but as far as the next day goes I can't really think of anything except that it's maybe getting too much attention.

2) Whenever you have unprotected sex there is a risk of pregnancy. The chances are reduced by his pulling out, but I wouldn't rely on it as your main means of birth control. Precum can sometimes contain small amounts of sperm, and it's always possible that in the future the two of you might get carried away and he won't manage to pull out in time. If you want to be really sure you should either start using condoms, get on the pill, or both.

3) Yes, it's possible. Most women tend to stop having periods when they're pregnant. Occasionally a woman will still get her period, though. It's not super common, but it happens.

4) Well, the easiest way is just to come out and say it. She's always saying you should be responsible, and getting on the pill is definitely the responsible thing to do if you're going to be having sex. If you want you can tell her that you haven't done it yet but you just want to be prepared. If you don't think you can lie convincingly enough though, don't go that route; you don't want your mom thinking she can't trust you. She might be a little freaked at first. After all, she's your mom and she doesn't want you getting hurt. I'm sure she remembers being your age, though, and at the least she should be reassured a bit by the fact that you're taking the initiative and protecting yourself.

[nick]

Eryka you're taking a terrible risk with the unprotected sex. Like Jessi has said it is possible to get pregnant from precum (which is something a guy has no control over and wouldnt even know was happening during vaginal sex really) and also it really would be so easy for him to have an accident and not pull out on time. Really its very selfish of him to expect you to allow this, if he's not prepared to wear the condom he can't care much what happens to you to be honest.

[ErykaInspire.]

Well... I understand that. I mean, everyone on VT knows that my biggest fear is pregnancy.
We don't go fast at all. and he's constantly thinking ahead of time. He doesn't allow himself to get carried away, and neither do I.
I did talk to him, though. He's going to buy condoms, and I'm going to try and talk to my mom about birth control. It just seems impossible to bring it up with her lately. She's changed a lot since we had that talk. So.. eh.
Dale and I know that we arn't going to fool around and/or have sex every time we're together. We respect each other.
He DOES care about what the consequences are. We've talked about it numerous times.
He has cried because I got a weird feeling that he doesn't REALLY care, and that feeling was just for a second. I get those feelings a lot because of the whole... past thing. But yeah. I didn't tell him about it, but he sensed it. He knows my body language more than my own parents do. He knows how I feel about what and how to make me comfortable in awkward situations.
He DOES care, Nick. I know he does.
And I know we're taking risks... but.. Idk.
We're doing the best we can for now.

[SlightlySane]

Eryka, I don't know the answer to most of those questions but I'll do my best. Even without coming to an orgasm there is still a chance that you can get pregnant. I've seen many people that I know personally say it wasn't going to happen because they were careful, and then it did.

As far as talking to your mom what I would do is bring it up as a precaution thing. Tell her that you are going to do the best to be responsible in your relationship, but you also know there are times when our hormones disrupt our thinking. Let her know that incase there is any chance you slip up in the future you want to go on birth control. I would hope that telling her this would let her see that you are trying to be responsible by knowing that your limits aren't always going to work.

Do the best you can Eryka, I know you are scared of getting pregnant so I really want you to be careful with this and get birthcontrol if you can. You know how much I care about you and don't want to see you get hurt. Just do your best hun I'm sure you will do the right thing.