dizzydinosaur
November 20th, 2009, 01:55 PM
Ok so this is the first time my poems have come out of hiding
I don't think I'm that good but I fancied some feedback
I think there's four on this one, hope it's not too much in one go
Thanks for reading (: x
Blood Sweat and Tears
It builds up
Powerful
Strong
The urge
The Anger
Hate increasing
She holds tightly
To her rage
Escalating
Bigger
More intense
She's heating up
Pink cheeks
Breathing heavy
Sweat drips
She needs release
She picks them up
Squeezes them tight
Takes one
Pushes in
Along
Deeper
Faster
She feels warm inside
The blood runs
Glistens red
Shining
The struggle
The fight
Over
The burning pain
Falling
Leaving
In the flow of blood
Tears fall
Her top soaked
With Blood
Sweat
And tears
She breathes
Calm
Slow
In
Out
It's all over
She whispers
But how long
How long until it happens again
Until it gets too much
A day
A week
Hour
Only time will tell
She prays
Begs
Jesus save me
Please
I need you
Amen
Jesus
There's somebody called Jesus,
He knows us all by name,
It's stuck upon his hand,
And on his heart it's stained.
So every time you pray to him,
He knows to look at you,
He sticks your name to his hand,
With special Jesus glue.
Silence
I can hear the silence
It screams at me so loud
It shouts at me of all the pain
It shrieks of my mistakes
It yells about the hate in me
It makes me go insane
Grandad
She walked and walked
Never stopping
She had to see him
Looking both ways
Left, right
Left again
The smell of disinfectant was putrid
She had to get there quick
Faster she told her legs
She started running
Still looking
Left, right
Left again
She got to the end
Nearly there
Left, right she looked
Left again
There he was
Smiling weakly
Slowly she took a step
Left, right
Left again
His face was the colour of his sheets
His lips were a purple-blue
She stopped
Her eyes shifted
Left, right, up
Then down
All she could see was the outline of her shoes
And a blur of colours
As a tear splashed to the floor
He held out his hand
She took it gently
Eyes still shifting
Left, right
Look at me he pleaded
As her eyes went to the ceiling
She sat on the bed
He pulled her close
They sat for hours
Just holding each other tight
Never letting go
He whispered goodbye
...
She let go of his hand
And stood up to go
It flopped
Like a puppet
She screamed
Everyone came running
But it was too late
He was gone
She had to leave
She couldn't see or hear anything
Everything was a blur
She ran
Never stopping
Never looking back
I don't think I'm that good but I fancied some feedback
I think there's four on this one, hope it's not too much in one go
Thanks for reading (: x
Blood Sweat and Tears
It builds up
Powerful
Strong
The urge
The Anger
Hate increasing
She holds tightly
To her rage
Escalating
Bigger
More intense
She's heating up
Pink cheeks
Breathing heavy
Sweat drips
She needs release
She picks them up
Squeezes them tight
Takes one
Pushes in
Along
Deeper
Faster
She feels warm inside
The blood runs
Glistens red
Shining
The struggle
The fight
Over
The burning pain
Falling
Leaving
In the flow of blood
Tears fall
Her top soaked
With Blood
Sweat
And tears
She breathes
Calm
Slow
In
Out
It's all over
She whispers
But how long
How long until it happens again
Until it gets too much
A day
A week
Hour
Only time will tell
She prays
Begs
Jesus save me
Please
I need you
Amen
Jesus
There's somebody called Jesus,
He knows us all by name,
It's stuck upon his hand,
And on his heart it's stained.
So every time you pray to him,
He knows to look at you,
He sticks your name to his hand,
With special Jesus glue.
Silence
I can hear the silence
It screams at me so loud
It shouts at me of all the pain
It shrieks of my mistakes
It yells about the hate in me
It makes me go insane
Grandad
She walked and walked
Never stopping
She had to see him
Looking both ways
Left, right
Left again
The smell of disinfectant was putrid
She had to get there quick
Faster she told her legs
She started running
Still looking
Left, right
Left again
She got to the end
Nearly there
Left, right she looked
Left again
There he was
Smiling weakly
Slowly she took a step
Left, right
Left again
His face was the colour of his sheets
His lips were a purple-blue
She stopped
Her eyes shifted
Left, right, up
Then down
All she could see was the outline of her shoes
And a blur of colours
As a tear splashed to the floor
He held out his hand
She took it gently
Eyes still shifting
Left, right
Look at me he pleaded
As her eyes went to the ceiling
She sat on the bed
He pulled her close
They sat for hours
Just holding each other tight
Never letting go
He whispered goodbye
...
She let go of his hand
And stood up to go
It flopped
Like a puppet
She screamed
Everyone came running
But it was too late
He was gone
She had to leave
She couldn't see or hear anything
Everything was a blur
She ran
Never stopping
Never looking back