This group...

[YesterdaysNews]

My guidance counselor invited me to had its first meeting today. This group is for students who had lost a loved one (I.E. close family member/friend), and I was one of 8 kids. I know 2 other people in the group and that kinda reassured me. So today was just like an introduction thing, the two counselors that were running it got us to kinda just explain our situation and how we felt and such. I got through the first question fine... and then It went down hill. I couldn't finish a sentence without crying... and I was the only one who was like that... I didn't understand why I was like that... My dad was the first one to die in the group, I had more time to cope... so why was I the only one breaking down? I was weak... I am always weak... I was so embarrassed... I'm just confused right now...

edit: my dad lost his battle with lung cancer February 2, 2007.

[zgrazier]

everyone handels diffrent stuff at diffrent paces.
ull cope...
but in ur own time.
its no big deal that u broke down.
in fact.
itll help u cope.
and the people around u in that group more than know what ur going through
<3

[YesterdaysNews]

Yeah, I guess thats true. I just felt like the weakest link, you know? or maybe I'm just unstable

[Gumleaf]

manda panda, there is no show of weakness here hun. we are talking about your father, someone who you would of loved a lot and it would be more suprising to me if you weren't still afected by it now. it seems like this group will be good for you hun, and you shouldn't let what you think is over emotion turn you off. you aren't weak at all, the fact you have even gone to the group shows you have strength. try not to worry about it ok.

[YesterdaysNews]

Okay Stephen, I'll try. Thank you.

[Bougainvillea]

Amanda... I had no idea. I'm sorry.

Losing a father is hard. Trust me. I know. It's more frustrating, and crippling than most people realise. I still cry when I think about my dad, too. There's nothing wrong with you missing your dad. Because that's what it is.

It'll be okay.

[YesterdaysNews]

Thank you Lawrence.
I dont know why I'm so different though, out of the 8 people in the group, 6 have lost their fathers... I don't know why I can't handle it like they seem to be.
maybe it's because I'm an only child... I really don't know

[Gumleaf]

well everyone deals with loss differently. perhaps being an only child makes a difference because you don't have anyone else to share your grief and pain with? but even so, there is nothing wrong with feeling the emotion like you do, and because you are the only one who feels that emotion doesn't mean you should feel weak or inferior to anyone else there. keep going to the group ok, the benefits will outweigh any of the negatives you might think of.

[YesterdaysNews]

yeah, I think I'll continue going, it is nice to know there's other people around to talk to.
Thank you guys for all your advice <3

[overcome.]

I've lost my Dad also, I know it's hard, he also lost a battle to a form of cancer in 2001. There's a thing to remember, and it's not to worry about your emotions, it's perfectly normal to express yourself. Everybody does it different ways. I guarentee that everybody in that group who has lost somebody has shed tears many times for that person.

With regards to dealing with losses and every day things, people do deal with them differently in terms to chanelling emotions. I can actually understand how you feel about getting upset. I very rarely get upset, in the past I've considered it a weakness as well. I think differently now, I'm very private and still wouldn't want to cry infront of anybody. But it's human nature, everybody cries and lets out emotion. Also remember, whether he died a year ago or five years ago, a loss like this can never be dealt with properly unfortunately. In my eyes it's a case of acceptance and coping with it the best you can and remembering the good times. Like he'd want you to :)

[Lord C]

For what it's worth, I don't consider you weak at all. I don't think anyone here does. That's how people handle situations like that. It's only natural. My mum lost her dad and she still cries sometimes when she thinks about him. I admire you for your strength and going in the first place, and then to decide to continue going. Well done.

[YesterdaysNews]

thank you.
I'll try my best not to feel weak & I will keep going to the meetings, I hope they'll help. the three girls that were in it last year seemed pretty confident about it so I'm keeping that in mind. maybe these meetings will show me ways to cope, instead of self harm...
I'll keep an open mind :]