Tell me that I'm being extremely stupid about this

[Grinchilla]

This boy... this grown man... that I love... I met him online a year ago... We've talked all but like 5 days since the day we met... on IM or phone... hours at a time. My best friend ever. My friends at school hate him though... saying that he's a pervert. Which he is sometimes, but I make way more perverted jokes... didn't know anything about sex at all before he told me... my friends say he's "grooming" me. I generally enjoy him though. I have fun with him... I care for him... I didn't mean to fall in love with him... we hardly even talk of this love.


He's 26 and from the Balkans and I'm 15 (nearly 16, chyea), female, and from the U.S. He's a virgin... never had a gf... lives at home with parents, and is very poor... my parents don't know.

Sorry that was so long... I think I'm looking for affirmation that I'm not crazy. :p

THanks

[TheKingDavis]

Bad news: your crazy

Good news: im lying lol, dont ever "cam" with him, its illegal and he could be arrested

[Grinchilla]

Ooooh, salut! I'm so used to forums where you'll seem someone once, but never again. they're too big... this is more homey, wot wot.

OK... so the age of consent is 16, but if I'm under 18, video is child porn and illegal? interesting. :( heh not that I'm planning to have any type of sexual relationship when I'm only 16.

[thisqboy4u]

Anybody can claim anything on line. 26 yo virgin? o sure.

[Sapphire]

Sorry to say this but your friends are right to be concerned.
This guy is grooming you.
Don't worry about being crazy because you aren't. You are just a little misguided at the moment but it most definitely isn't your fault that it has happened.
You are much better off with stopping contact with him.
I know it is hard to hear people say this stuff about him and that you will want to keep denying it. But I also know that once you stop denying it, you will be able to deal with it and get on with your life.

I was groomed for about 6 years by an older man and have been dealing with it all bit-by-bit for the last 2 years. So if you want to talk more about this, I'm here for you.

[Aves]

I agree with Sapphire, you should stop talking to him. I mean a 26 year old guy, living with his parents, and very poor says a lot about his future. And on top of that, 15 to 26 is a big jump. I would say your situation is very, VERY sketchy. With all the predators out there now a days, it's hard to trust online relationships. I'm not saying he is a sex predator, but it would be in your best interest to move on.

[Contra]

You have 10 years of age difference and you never met. It seems kinda risky to do something, huh?
I think that what you feel for him is admiration that led to a crush. You can still talk to him though, but don't EVER let him cross the line!

[Sapphire]

Am I really the only one who can see how textbook some of this stuff is?[/URL][URL="http://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/parents/faq/grooming.aspx"]
(http://parents.vodafone.com/grooming)

[bennybronx]

I think it is very clear what is going on

[Grinchilla]

I don't find it as clear. The only things he's ever done wrong is to talk to me despite my age.

He's my best friend. You know... just like your best friend is with you. You don't feel your relationship is creepy either, right?

But... when he was 20 he used to talk to this 13-year old at the town gatherings... he bought her a present and it created a mini scandal. Also, he has 2 16-year old friends in real life he met at these social gatherings. I've talked to them. They're crazy and perverted. But you see... he hasn't actually done anything wrong.

I wouldn't have posted this if I didn't think something was wrong though I admit. I just wish I was 18... the relationship'd be ok if I was 18. :(

[Archer600]

Yea ummm if u know something is wrong then stay away from this guy he is 10 years older than u...even if u were 18 that would still be weird. Sounds to me like some sort of sex offender too

[Sapphire]

I don't find it as clear. The only things he's ever done wrong is to talk to me despite my age.

He's my best friend. You know... just like your best friend is with you. You don't feel your relationship is creepy either, right?

But... when he was 20 he used to talk to this 13-year old at the town gatherings... he bought her a present and it created a mini scandal. Also, he has 2 16-year old friends in real life he met at these social gatherings. I've talked to them. They're crazy and perverted. But you see... he hasn't actually done anything wrong.

I wouldn't have posted this if I didn't think something was wrong though I admit. I just wish I was 18... the relationship'd be ok if I was 18. :(
I know that you can't see it and tbh I wasn't referring to you in my last post. Loads of people tried warning me and (like you are doing now) I wouldn't accept what they were saying.
I just wish that more of the people replying in this thread saw what was truly going on instead of saying that it's ok, just a bit weird with the difference in age.

And he has done wrong by grooming you and probably by grooming those other three girls too - him teaching you about sex is like painting "predator" on a sign with him underneath it.

Try to take a step out of your shoes and look at it from an outsiders perspective. How would you feel about it as an outsider?