I'm Running Out of Strength...

[Flutterfly]

It's been 74 days... been a few tries since I've been here.
I'm struggling to keep going.
I'm out of ways to distract myself...
Almost everything seems to trigger me...
Worst of all, I've started dreaming about it.
I just keep seeing myself cut in various ways and just won't stop...
It's scaring me...
And the urges keep getting stronger...
I don't know what to do...

[Hyper]

Well what has set you off balance?

[Flutterfly]

Just about my whole life. I can't take the stress from school anymore. I keep getting low grades because I can't seem to understand anything... I am failing two of four classes. =[ I keep seeing cutting or cutting references on Tv and it's triggering me...

[Hyper]

What do you do to distract yourself then?

Is it random stuff.. Or are there things that almost always work

[Flutterfly]

Guitar, poetry, that's all the ever worked to distract me.... someone else having a problem and needing me to help... but those aren't working anymore... everything is a trigger =[

[Hyper]

Well the secret to picking yourself up is being able to be alone... If I get ''worn out'' I just restart my mind.. Of course I have years and years and years and years of experience.... But I think its the same for everyone to truly be above their problems they have to be able to let go and forgive.

If you set out to do those things thinking ''I have to distract myself'' you are basically running from a shadow that you are already under.. Cheesily put your letting it control you.

Of course easier said than done but if you really want something you have to believe in yourself.

If you've tried your best and can't then ask for help. You already did ask so I'm going to tell you that you must keep trying for your own sake and that I'll be here if you want me to.

[Flutterfly]

Thank you. and I am trying... it's just getting harder =[ I watched a show tonight that triggered me. I didn't know they were going to show someone cutting...

[Amyxoxo]

It's been 74 days... been a few tries since I've been here.
I'm struggling to keep going.
I'm out of ways to distract myself...
Almost everything seems to trigger me...
Worst of all, I've started dreaming about it.
I just keep seeing myself cut in various ways and just won't stop...
It's scaring me...
And the urges keep getting stronger...
I don't know what to do...

Well, 74 days is amazing and really would it be worth all that effort for one cut?
Everyone one struggles when they have come so far. Why dont you try something that you have never done before, that would keep you more distracted than anything else.
Listen to music when you go to bed so that is the last thing that you hear and do.
Just keep fighting through everything and people are here to talk whe nyou need it.
:) x

[Flutterfly]

Well, 74 days is amazing and really would it be worth all that effort for one cut?
Everyone one struggles when they have come so far. Why dont you try something that you have never done before, that would keep you more distracted than anything else.
Listen to music when you go to bed so that is the last thing that you hear and do.
Just keep fighting through everything and people are here to talk whe nyou need it.
:) x

I've been to 7months before and gave that up, so I'd give up 74 days. =/
I'm outta things to try.

I just realized my music hasn't been playing at night... might be part of the problem... my mind's not distracted. Thanks. =]

I talked to my friend and I'm doing a lot better... she's really encouraging me. We're stopping together =]

I'm still afraid I'll end up caving or my razor will be found... I just can't bring myself to get rid of it.

[Amyxoxo]

If you cant throw your razor away can you give it to your friend,s othat you know that you have it someone where away from yoU?
That is great about you and your friend :)
Good luck :) x

[Stewart]

Woah, 74 days is a long time, you sure you want to ruin that?