Really Confused

[TheDavid]

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[nick]

Hi David, welcome to vt.

I'm 16, also from the UK, bi and have sung in church choirs since I was 9. I dont worry too much about the views of certain types of church people, there's nothing to suggest that Christ was homophobic and the religion is called Christianity isnt it?

Coming out is a big deal, and I dont see any need to hurry about it. I've told my dad I'm bi but he's the only one. I dont really see its anyone elses business unless I were to start dating a guy.

[CaptainObvious]

You're definitely not the only one dealing with these issues and questioning yourself and what you've grown up believing. It's a tough thing, but just remember that there's nothing wrong with who you are. Nobody can make you feel bad without your consent. We've all gone through stuff like this and we're here to help, so don't hesitate to ask.

[thisqboy4u]

[QUOTE=TheDavid;684235]Backstory... I never really realised I was gay, but I'm almost certain I am now. I've never been interested in "girls" that way... some of my closest friends have been girls, but I've never seen them in a sexual way, and I don't act gay publicly.

This is EXACTLY the way I am. Couldn't of said it better myself.

[Brighter.Tomorrow]

Just have inner strength. True strength is about you being who you are, and loving yourself. Forget others, If they shun you then they are missing out.
Being yourself can cost you alot of friends yes, But being yourself also gets you real, true friends, friends that will be there for you.
Hope i helped.

[thepieman]

Always, always just make sure YOU are happy and comfortable with who YOU are. If you don't want to come out you don't have to, do what you feel is best. Also, you don't need to act gay to be gay. Just be yourself, that's all. If you need any help, just pm me. :)

[TheDavid]

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[crayzdude]

I feel the same way confused very excatly the same story but ppl say i act gay idk im still young

[rette_mich]

Here is the thing, it may be a good idea to approach the subject with your parents to see how they feel about gays and bisexuals. Just in casual conversation like a, hey mom, do you know anyone who is gay? Or if you see something that could be related to the subject bring it up then, it makes it kind of a stress free way to get an idea of how they generally see gay people.

The most important thing though is to be true to yourself because no matter what, you are who you are and it is important to love yourself. I do not see that this will be an issue for you, though, you seem quite alright with your sexuality and I applaud you for that.

Good luck!

[TheDavid]

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[mr.sexy_bomb]

hmm yea sometimes i think about that too, but then again i mean all i really want is to be happy, and to be honest i wouldnt care what people think or say because all that really matters is what i think of myself, and i like who i am, what i do, and the people i have in my life, and i know some people arent going to like the things ive done and will do, but its what ever, i am not going to bother them, so they shouldnt bother me, just trying to live a peaceful life.

[jovien]

well i dont see why to come out strait people dont have to tell parents they're strait

[TheDavid]

well i dont see why to come out strait people dont have to tell parents they're strait

This might come as a shock to you, but people are ASSUMED to be straight, generally speaking. The reason they don't "come out" to me is because I don't assume them to be gay, therefore they have no reason to correct me. :yawn:

Point is - I don't wish to lie to my parents or fein an interest in women any longer. Touché?e

[Christiaan]

Backstory... I never really realised I was gay, but I'm almost certain I am now. I've never been interested in "girls" that way... some of my closest friends have been girls, but I've never seen them in a sexual way, and I don't act gay publicly.

That said, I find guys sexually attractive, so like I said. Pretty sure I'm gay.

The vast majority of gay lads don't act like flaming queens, they act just like ya do, that's why ya don't know they're gay

Heck... for my whole life I was really homophobic (now I feel stupid... like I swear, I dunno if I just hated myself and didn't want people to realise or what). I don't hate myself any more... but I'm really confused.

Unconsciously, ya might have been running in yer mind from what ya we're attracted to cos it seemed to be forbidden in yer life.

I'm 15, live in England, and my school is pretty gay friendly - but I've got a religious background (not any more, really, just don't see sense in it) but all my friends are religious. If I came out as gay, they wouldn't disown me or anything stupid, but they'd treat me as weird. I've no idea what my parents would do.

Not sure what religion yer talking about. I know the Cof E is pretty liberal on gays, so I've got to think yer either talking about a Pentacostal/Evangelical sect, Mormons or maybe Catholics. I'm Catholic and while the Church is anti-gay, it's generally low jey on the Parish level.

My advice is that there's nothing to be gained by "coming out" whilst yer in yer teens. It's generally something that just will cause ya serious trouble until yer on yer own. Even then, it can be temporarily problematic.

I live in rural Ireland. If I lived in Dublin it would be a different matter, but it wouldn't be a positive move for me to come out here.

I really am so confused. Don't know why I'm writing this at all, really. Just want to hear some reassurance I guess that I'm not the only person who's totally confused with life. :( Confused about religion. Life... everything.

Nope, yer not alone lad. Realizing yer sexuality in a predominently straight world is tough. It's kind of an awakening and it happens gradually. As for religion, Churches, organized religion, are all control freaks who pervert God;s teachings to suit their own purposes and teachings. True religion is what ya feel in yer heart through yer own personal desire to be one of God's own.

[TheDavid]

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