Suicidal Tendencies

[Kahn]

Deleted for personal reasons.

[Burnthecity]

Why do you think of suicide, why do you want to commit suicide.
You say you dont want to commit suicide
So dont, i have had those thoughts too,
What exactly do you think about, do you think about what would happen to the people around you if you commited suicide, do you think you would be better off with suicide?

getting around this isnt going to be easy, you need to realise that suicide isnt the answer for things, you need to think past that, insead of thinking of suicide, think of your future, think of what you can make it, what you can become

[Stewart]

This is exactly what I have. I don't want to commit suicide, I just think about how it would affect others, but I would never do it.

[clone]

i think many people get these thoughts you need to be doing something constantly to much time to think could be bad in my opinion

[Kahn]

Is it that I'm suicidal? Or is it just I'm scared that I might do it.

Too answer your questions. I think about what would happen without life and feel like I'm going to do it but I know I'm not going to. Sometimes I do but not usually..

[clone]

that sometimes is not good these thoughts should pass well i hope so or for are sakes are lifes will be hell :frown:

[Aspiringanonymous]

Is this an intruding thought, something which comes up repeatedly in your mind for no apparent reason than to disturb you? Or is it rooted in actually wanting, at one point or another, to die? Usually, when something like this happens, it is more or less a bit of both - but of course, only you know your own situation. Ultimately, others cannot ever accurately tell what precisely is going on within you, more than you have the capacity to determine for yourself.

Feeling or being suicidal indicates there is an active desire, not just abstract ideas flowing in the mind, compelling one to try and kill themselves. Either way, whether the experience is of unwanted thoughts, desires, or both, it is all okay. There is nothing inherently 'wrong' or 'evil' with any feeling, negative or positive, as long as destructive impulses are not acted upon.

However, as you said, it is a problem for you. How does one cope with an internal struggle? Life is frustrating in the sense that there is never a clear-cut solution to be found. When we are uninspired in the quest for a solution, I believe that the best place to start is by understanding the situation. This is a stage where dialogue with others can make a huge difference. In the process of assisting another to understand, one often realizes that they know much more about themselves than assumed.

[Kahn]

It literally just pops into my head and then my mood is changed from usually gleeful to downright sad. It's not Bi- polar because this only happens when I am completely useless. As in I don't need to do anything and I don't need to help anyone. It also happens when I think about NY, my brothers, and my Dad which I often think about.

[Aspiringanonymous]

Therefore, if I am correct, it is an unwanted thought, involuntary to a large extent, that is in itself the cause of disturbing feelings. I know the experience well, and have spoken to others who claim to have been through similar. You are not alone on that one.

In all honesty, I have little to contribute in terms of 'how to make it go away', for I am only learning to deal with a very similar problem in myself. I have noticed, however, that at some point one becomes accustomed to the thoughts being around, and the familiarity makes it all just a little less unbearable.

How long has this been a significant problem; more than just a slightly uneasy thought? How has it been dealt with in the past, are there certain activities in which you are able to experience a complete freedom and protection from it? What patterns, if any, are prevalent in that which tends to trigger the experience? Periods of mental dullness certainly are times of vulnerability, where the mind tends to wander, often into places it should be avoiding. You don't have to answer any of these questions on here, they are simply a starting point for you to gain a clearer picture of what has been going on. Perhaps it could be helpful.

Either way, I do believe that it is possible to overcome this, but at the very least it would involve a change in mental focus of some sort.

[Kahn]

Well, 2 years ago when the thoughts were really bad I told myself "If I die I will die in the Armed Forces". I made a promise that I would join the Air force but I don't think I am going to join because I really want to be a history teacher.

Ever since this had begun; through the majority of the school year I haven't thought about it but not one day has gone by this year without me thinking about it. There are no regular patterns that trigger the thought of it. It just pops in my head and it is always very stressful and usually I just sit where I am until I am able to get away from the thought. It is definitely an unwanted thought indeed. I hate it and I am willing to do anything to get away from it.

I took the pledge and I am staying with it so I know I won't ever hurt myself seriously. Now all I need to do is get away from the thought of it.

[Giles]

On a slightly different note...

When I think about "life after death", ie just what is after death (if anything) then i find it an incredibly interesting moment. I have often thought about suicide, wasn't far off trying at one point, but mainly just how friends+family would react/go on.

[drewlink99]

Well, my mom was taken from our home several times in an ambulance, every time screaming she wanted to kill herself, and how it should not be illegal...
Well, that traumatized me, and now, years later, I'm thinking the same thing!
Well, it is not good, you have too much to live for, DO NOT DO IT!!!
It hurts everyone around you, it makes them feel like they should have seen it coming, then they too will think about suicide!
All from the hypocrite...

[nick]

Adam, it sounds to me as if you're experience when you were 10 has left you a little traumatised and that really the right answer is that you should seek some councelling for it.