At a Low Point

[Stewart]

Okay, here we go.

I currently have an anxiety disorder that, over the past 2 years, has gotten SOOOO much better. I was a wreck in 7th grade. Bullying was high, and I was just miserable. I then moved schools. I started an anti depressant for my anxiety, and life has changed:

I was so much happier, sure the bullying still went on with a few people, but I blew it off because I had many friends and I was so much happier. I had good grades, lots of friends, and I felt like my life had a complete turn around.

This year, in 9th grade, there were about 45 new kids. I feel like my life is slipping again. I've gained a couple new friends but most of the new kids aren't in my classes, so they hear things aout me and eventually don't like me, even though I did nothing to them.

Then comes my confusion in my sexuality. I've discovered that I'm pansexual. I'll date anyone, gender doesn't matter. Then comes the bullying again. people have been hearing rumors that I'm bi, so I've had a few assholes making fun of me. I brush it off and hang with my real friends.

Now, one of my best friends from last year is saying nobody likes me. I'm starting to believe it, even though it's not true.

I'm a happy person in general, but lately I've been feeling down.

I've been fine until this week. It's been a crappy week. First off, 4 of my friends have been mad at me. We're friends again after I apologized and now we're cool again.

Now, one of my best friends from last year is saying nobody likes me. I'm starting to believe it, even though it's not true.

I'm a happy person in general, but lately I've been feeling down.

I don't know what it is. Just been down... am I depressed. Thinking it's kind of impossible since I'm on an anti depressant.

Also: I'm not suicidal. I do not want to die. I want to grow up and feel successful.

[foreverjd14]

you definitely have the right mind set by just brushing it off.
people make fun of other people because there so unaware of there own selves or there sexuality that they need to make other feel bad or even there.
and i had something similar with my friend she would always just brush me off and ignore me and saying things that were kind and unlike her. i asked her why she was saying then and its cause she was having a really rough time so maybe your friend is too just ask them what wrong and try to keep an open mind.
you definitely are doing great and just need to hang in cause everything is gonna be alright :D

[Stewart]

Well, today was a good day, nothing bad happened, I laughed with my friends, but deep down I was upset. I don't know why. Am I depressed?

[Kahn]

It sounds like it. I feel the same way. And you must be strong to be able to brush off people's bullying. I mean I can't take it and I would knock they're teeth out, but thats just me. You have the right mind set indeed.

What I would do is see a couselor if your not already and tell him/her about the bullying. I know you can brush it off but it has to be getting to you. I know it isn't the best thing to say but I think thats a reason why your getting so sad but at least your able to laugh with your friends. I can barley do that, let alone smile. You have to be very stong, kid.

*Offtopic* I noticed you lived in Cleveland. I live in Sandusky about a half hour drive from there. Awesome isn't it?

[Stewart]

Although, it all happened after I had a crappy week last week. It was sudden, not over time. I was in a fight with like 5 of my friends, we're cool now but it was just a bad week. I see my therapist on Saturday, we'll see then.