I'm too weak. I'm all alone. I don't need this. But I want it so badly.

[1_21Guns]

Hm. I can't sleep, and another friend of mine couldn't but the battery on her iPod died. So I'm now all alone. I feel so weak. I want to cut, just to remember what it felt like. Even though I have a good enough imagination to know that without cutting.
I know I don't need it, but want it. So badly. I'm all alone. Theres noone near me to stop me. Nothing can anymore. I just feel dead inside. I need to know I can still feel. I need to know. I need blood |:
Sorry for littering the forum with my whineing posts lately by the way.
I'm just so tired of feeling like this and i'm so confused. Yesterday has to be the worst day i've had in a month or so. And today wont be much better. Ugh. Maybe I should just end it once and for all. Theres no chance I can carry on like this much longer /= no matter how much stronger I get.
I feel ugly. Yes you can point at my picture all day and say i'm not. But at the moment my acne is going crazy and I just look rough as hell and very ill. A few more scars won't make much difference. I'm too weak, and sure as the day goes on and i'm around my mates, my strength will go up again. But I had to ask my friend what she'd do if I died to try and guilt trip myself out of suicide. I'm running out of options =/

[clone]

good thing i came fast its not really worth it is it theres to many problems a few more scars could lead to a few more then a few more you must understand that and dont end it all if it IS A MUST id rather you cut then that.
dont let this get out of hand :frown:

[1_21Guns]

good thing i came fast its not really worth it is it theres to many problems a few more scars could lead to a few more then a few more you must understand that and dont end it all if it IS A MUST id rather you cut then that.
dont let this get out of hand :frown:

I know, i've been here before. I just forget what it feels like on purpose. Then it feels awful when I get this low again.
I know if I start, it'll be a struggle to stop again.
I don't want it to get out of hand. I'm just running out of options. Epic cravings and 3 sucide attempts over the years arn't working to my favour. /=

[clone]

have you tried poatry i recently wrote a poam and gave it to my teacher and she thought it was great that made my day and music
i know you have probebly heard these before but best to hear them again

[1_21Guns]

have you tried poatry i recently wrote a poam and gave it to my teacher and she thought it was great that made my day and music
i know you have probebly heard these before but best to hear them again

I recently took a vent out in drawing, but although I have written before its been kinda crappy. I have canvas' to do, but I don't want to do them when I feel like this.

[clone]

who cares if its crappy mine is sometimes its venting with a pen and some paper all that matters is you do what helps YOU screw everyone else (inless there helping) :)

[clone]

right now im listening to michael jackson i recomend thriller or beat it and sing the lyrics its fun and passes time

sorry if this is double post.

[1_21Guns]

As i knew, i feel better after sleeping. I'm still shaken up though. You're right. Who cares what it says aslong as it means something to me.
And yeah it was a double post XD. you're supposed to edit your previous post incase you didn't know.

[clone]

i knew i shouldnt have done that now my rep power is 0 if double posting caused that well hope it gets better by the hour :D