The Harlequin
November 1st, 2009, 06:12 PM
I am so furious at the moment...
With myself, with people I know ~ it's crap! First thing is people who I've trusted to keep my only Goddamn secret keep bloody well stabbin me in the back! I am bi ~ I've only trusted that to a few people in my life, and a few times now I've said to them "Look can you keep this absolutely quiet" to which they say "Yeah, sure." and THEN I find out that they've told other people ~ and it makes me so ANGRY! It's not THEIR secret! What is it, don't they respect me enough to keep a promise?!
And secondly ~ I love my bf, I mean really love him, and yet I get so frustrated with the way that we can't show our true feelings to each other unless we're in private, and it is really hard to deal with at times, I don't know what to do... And he won't come out to his parents, not even one of them. I have, and it was really hard, but I just feel at times that he really should, but I don't want to pressure him into it ~ I don't want to be walked in on, but I don't want to appear selfish either, forcing it on him... What do you do in a situation like this...?
I'm pissed off with myself because I know that I have to tell one of my mot homophobic mates that I'm bi, before somebody else just diregards the importance of my secrecy, but every time I'm about to tell him I just... Can't...
I don't know what's the matter with me ~ I'm no coward, but for some reason I just can't bring myself to tell him, and it's making me feel so damn useless, what am I gonna do if he finds out from someone else? isn't that going to make this so much worse?!
I need advice, I just hate not ever KNOWING what to do anymore...
With myself, with people I know ~ it's crap! First thing is people who I've trusted to keep my only Goddamn secret keep bloody well stabbin me in the back! I am bi ~ I've only trusted that to a few people in my life, and a few times now I've said to them "Look can you keep this absolutely quiet" to which they say "Yeah, sure." and THEN I find out that they've told other people ~ and it makes me so ANGRY! It's not THEIR secret! What is it, don't they respect me enough to keep a promise?!
And secondly ~ I love my bf, I mean really love him, and yet I get so frustrated with the way that we can't show our true feelings to each other unless we're in private, and it is really hard to deal with at times, I don't know what to do... And he won't come out to his parents, not even one of them. I have, and it was really hard, but I just feel at times that he really should, but I don't want to pressure him into it ~ I don't want to be walked in on, but I don't want to appear selfish either, forcing it on him... What do you do in a situation like this...?
I'm pissed off with myself because I know that I have to tell one of my mot homophobic mates that I'm bi, before somebody else just diregards the importance of my secrecy, but every time I'm about to tell him I just... Can't...
I don't know what's the matter with me ~ I'm no coward, but for some reason I just can't bring myself to tell him, and it's making me feel so damn useless, what am I gonna do if he finds out from someone else? isn't that going to make this so much worse?!
I need advice, I just hate not ever KNOWING what to do anymore...